so today is the big day, my 16th birthday. it was great at school. i heard happy birthday from all of my friends, got all of the attention blah blah blah. that’s nice and all but what i would die for right now would be for my mom to tell me. it’s almost 4 oclock and i have yet to hear those 2 words come out of her mouth. this may sound selfish of me to some people. but i am just someone who lives and breathes for my mom to accept me, and to be interested in me. but oh well. i’m looking into […]
Tag:
Motivation
so the manager acts all nice on the phone to my mom saying how she really likes me. lies! if u really liked me you would treat me with respect and i probably wouldnt hate you. Really wanting to quit still. i have these irrational thoughts thati cant drop. how everyone knows im awkward and stuff well now it sounds stupid but i cant change how i feel it just wont go away!  infact these feeling arent entirely irrational  because my stupid manager  called me shy and nervous a couple of times and infront of my coworkers. little does she know jow sensitive i am […]
People on tumblr and in life around me keep telling me to “Continue On” or “Stay Strong”. What’s the point in either of these expressions if one has already made the decision to just stop being here?
I’ve given it a lot of thought; am I actually continuing on with living or continuing on dying daily? Lately, I haven’t had the motivation to get out of bed. Two nights ago, I almost attempted suicide. Yet, instead of trying to listen to me and understand my situation, people tell me to be strong and to be happy. You can’t tell me to stop throwing up everything I […]
It’s been a rough couple of days… I’m sorry for all who are suffering I fight with this pressure in my head even as I’m trying to put it all behind me… I did manage to find some help… I’m glad i held on long enough… I will be more careful to not drain myself providing for another who is incapable of providing in return… It’s a rough lesson to learn when its family member or a loved one… I need time away from them and now that I’ve had some help I’ll be okay…
9:43pm
Sitting here remaining positive that I won’t allow that to happen […]
When I was a kid I used to climb rocks and mountains, this one time I slipped and was hanging on the edge of a rock, the fall would have certainly resulted in my demise. I was scared, but then I looked down and for some reason I felt more alive there hanging so close to death. I felt so much life in me on that cliff.
10 years latter, I have finished my education, a bachelors degree and latter a masters degree in computer science and with good grades. I have a pretty decent job. I have pretty much accomplished what ever I was […]
*WARNING I talk a little bit about religion in this post, now I’m not trying to preach the gospel or telling anyone to convert, I’m just talking about my experience*
My last post I mentioned that a pastor wanted to see me because he noticed a sadness in me keep in mind I have not told anybody about my depression, now I’ve already seen him twice he wanted to focus on  getting me out of my shell I know he means well but when I went there I didn’t feel comfortable. Every time I met with him I felt like I wasn’t going there for me […]
I am 20 years old. I am female. I am a law student. I am a daughter. I am a sister. I am a friend. I am confused.
The first time I sat on my bedroom floor with a bowl of pills to swallow I was 13 years old. My Pop had recently succumbed to cancer, I’d lost a friend and I was just feeling awful. I swallowed two and then got scared. I swallowed two pills a day for four years. Every day. The first time was because I wanted to see my Pop. Every day after that for four years was just routine. What […]
It’s like all I see is black and white, there is no color left in my life. There is so much I want to do but I just can’t seem to find the motivation to even take a show. The only thing that keeps me here the fact that I have a beautiful 6 yr old son who I love and adore dearly. He’s my life line but I feel I’m ripping him off cause all I want to do is sleep.
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
im depressed. usually i get out of it for awhile and then it comes back for a little. this time i cant seem to get out of it. i dont have any motivation or self confidence and self worth. im not doing anything, im failing my classes, i cant look at my friends anymore. when i do i feel ashamed and disappointed in myself. no matter what people say it doesnt seem to help. i talked to my mom about some of this but it didnt help and it seems she forgot about it. im scared to tell everything to the people i know. im […]
I feel like I’m clinging to a thin piece of rope that’s fraying and threatening to snap. I want someone to hold me and tell me that it’s okay to fall apart. It’s okay to come completely unglued and not be in control all of the time. That it’s okay. That I don’t have to be “on” all of the time. I feel like 90% of the time I’m with other people, I’m acting or doing something or saying something that because that’s what they expect or want. I don’t want to have to be this other person around people, but at the same time […]
I think my brain is all but dead.  I just stare at a screen and my eyes see what they see – but nothing makes it to my brain.  I have no ability to focus and I have no motivation at all.  Half the time the phone rings I dont even try to answer.
life just blows.  ppl may be around me, but i am totally alone.  and i just wanna leave this world.  i need to leave this world
I am 28. I have no future. I quit college 2 times because of depression and lack of money. I come from abusive family. My father had taken  it out on me during almost all childhood. I’ve been depressed since adolescence. My dreams have fallen apart once I dropped out of university. I wanted to commit suicide but didn’t have enough courage. That was my only chance to get out of poverty and misery. I failed. I have failed so many times in my life… I have probably developed another mental issue after dropping out – ptsd. Each day.  Thoughts about failing at school keeps […]
I some times come to this site and read the articles on here. Sometimes to get ideas and others because it makes me feel less alone, but no matter how much I read it, I just feel useless. Why am I sad, why can’t I be happy, why can’t I want something, why do I have no motivation, no drive, no love for anything? Why can’t I try to be the person I want to be? Why can’t I end it? I just want it all to end and disappear I wish I was never born then I won’t be a burden on anyone, I […]
I simply do not understand people that are “driven”. What’s so different about them that creates such a huge difference between myself and them. I’m a decent fellow, cordial to my friends, says “yes ma’m” and “no sir” and yet I’m so troubled and they are seemingly so carefree. I frankly cannot comprehend how it is possible for them. But I digress, I suppose by this point you can extrapolate the fact that I am not driven. I fear responsibility and any situation that could potentially turn out badly. For some, this would result in focus and determination to create positive outcomes, to avoid those […]
I started college last year, this is my second year and is going worse and worse. I don’t feel like going to any lectures or doing any homework, I have no motivation for anything in life. I have recently found out I have Avoidance Personality Disorder, which means it takes me 100 times more effort to start talking to people, because I think I will humiliate myself somehow, so I have no friends at all. Ever since I started college I feel like I want to die, but not to kill myself, because I am really afraid of physical pain, but if someone asked me […]
Sometimes, I just can’t believe what  has happened to me. I just can’t. Why? My life is absolute shit and embarrassing. I mean, when you’re depressed, you can talk to someone about it. Well, I can’t with my problem. It is absolutely embarrassing. Here is the one and only time I will talk about my problem.
I am currently in highschool, and I’ve been having halitosis for 4 years. Halitosis is a symptom where you’re paranoid about smelling bad. Worst is, I DO smell bad. AGH, that just hurt.. even saying it. Imagine, everyday, dreading to go to school, dreading to stand next to your crush, […]
I’ve totally lost the will to live.
It wasn’t always this way, I had alot going for me, and things looked promising.
But after my girlfriend left me, I lost all motivation.
Now I’m in the middle of a law suit that is guaranteed not to go well,
probably ending in a felony and jail time.
I know she left me for someone else, and I have no one else to talk to.
I’m going to end it this week, and the decisions final.
Why couldn’t this have gone differently? Maybe I’ll never find that answer.
Hey there. Was going to use a fake name but it’s too much effort so you can just call me Kurea. She’s a character from a japanese anime i like.
I found this site on google. I can’t even remember what i was searching for. “What’s the point in living” or something similar i suppose. But i found it and it intrigued me. Not alot interests me these days, maybe it’s the idea other people feel the same as i do. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone though, not even my worst enemy.
I guess we’re all depressed here. Well so am i. It’ll be 6 years […]
This is the first time I have ever told anyone I have been contemplating suicide. Most people would say I have a good life, which I do agree, but I can’t find the motivation to want to help myself. I’m 21 and a college student with a criminal record already and have a family that I have secluded myself from. I want to write out my whole life story but I honestly don’t even care enough to do that. I just know that have suicidal thought on a daily basis isn’t normal. I know I have severe depression problems cause my mom has been diagnosed […]