Lamenting silently in my room. Had a serious mood swing. One moment I was happy and at ease and the next I just wanted to curl up in a corner and cry. My brother says that it isn’t okay to cry. Is that true? Is it bad to cry? I’m pressing charges on my friends’ cousins’ for sexual harassment. I didn’t do anything to them. In fact, I never ever spoke to them before. My grandmother won’t talk to me. She waited to tell me that supper was done after it got cold. Yeah, she really loves me huh? In a way I don’t blame her. I […]
So apparently I should be doing something with my life. Yeah, cause chasing after the wind makes perfect sense. Work a job I don’t wanna work at and make money that I could really care less about. This life is chasing after false hopes and dreams. Why are we even here? I don’t get it. Apparently to live this human experience I suppose. But there’s nothing that the world has to offer me. I don’t care about anything. I’m just accustomed to waking up, eating, taking a shit and repeat. Play some candy crush and drown myself in music, that’s life for me. […]
I have about three weeks to plan this. Because i’m planning suicide I would like to leave my family with as little to do as possible. and it’s kind of odd if i start making my own slide shows lol i want to make a blog like way for them to easily access information though music is how id like to express myself; there are just so many songs to chose from. am i going to be hated because i committed suicide? My sister is VERY AGAINST it and i would like to leave her with science backed […]
One day i sat in my room and had my music up, i thought i had locked my door and shut it, but it wasnt shut all the way… Well as i had a knife to my neck and my suicide note on my chest, my .. friend David comes in he coaches the knife away from me and when i dropped it i fell into his arms and cried and couldnt stop.. We talked about why i was trying to do it, many reasons.
Till this day, i owe him my life.. Thank you..<3
i see nothing at all, no happines
When i tried to commit suicide i was serious about it. I locked my door turned my music on loud and ignored the knocks. Well i laid down my tools of trade, a bottle of vodka, to hide my shame, a razor at the wrist nothing would be missed. I.. I took a drink then grabbed my razor as i sat over a towel and just cut my thighs to hell i could barely walk after.. I called […]
Music Saved My Life (My Story)Â <— video of my story click the link
So I don’t think my story has a happy ending, but at the very least I can’t realize it anymore. Thanks to my good friends/new band mates I guess I’m doing better. Let me explain, I am no longer suicidal, just bitter not that I realize it. I don’t know if turning to drugs was the right choice necessarily but being ripped out of my head makes things much easier to deal with. I don’t know, I still want to not exist but not being in my own mind makes it easier, and expressing through music gets my message out in a vague way that […]
life saving bands:
Never Shout Never
Pierce the Veil
Sleeping with Sirens
Suicide Silence
Of Mice & Men
My Chemical Romance
Enter Shikari
Bring Me The Horizon
Black Veil Brides
All Time Low
Falling in Reverse
Fall Out Boy
My Genuine Find
Catching Your Clouds
Motionless In White
The Devil Wears Prada
Blessthefall
We Came As Romans
Attack Attack!
A Day To Remember
Asking Alexandria
having a pleasant time high, home alone. i usually have better insight into me and my “distorted” thinking when i am under the influence. major insight of the day-i like being alone too much. i am having a hard time tolerating people. if i am around people i have to talk. and be fairly pleasant. after awhile i can’t keep the facade up-takes too much energy. easier if i just keep my mouth shut and smile. it has gotten to the point where i watch tv with the sound off. i read the subtitles. the chatter, the noise grates on me. what is going on […]
I know I’m going to get expelled again. But this time I’m not going to wait to see it happen. I’m having my first exam (in this new university) on Monday. I’ll take it. And then I’ll end it. Even just now, instead of getting myself ready for the upcoming exam, I’m just sitting here and staring straight before me. Every moment sucks. Every damn moment. I can’t get over the thought that I’ve chosen the cheapest way to die, and the most ridiculous. Drowning myself in a laundry basin, bullshit, huh? I’ve even been working hard on it, made a few trial runs, to […]
I fell like there’s a stone destroying my chest..
my body has banned me cry..
I refused to look sad at school or in front of my friends..
I have to be a support to my friends
I have to stop cutting
I’m the only who want to scream?
my world is in other dimension..
please just tell me that I’m not the only one feeling like that right now
nesecito contarle a alguien mi vida pero tengo tanto miedo de darle mis problemas a otro, ser feliz no era lo mas importante? no tengo corazon, estoy sola, me siento asi pero me da miedo […]
Do you have someone you know personally, or a role model/possible celebrity figure whose suicide or death you admire? Sometimes, I think of the deaths of others to help build up courage in the fact they could go through with it. You could either be inspired by the method itself or the components of their life surrounding the death.
For example: I often think of Gary Stewart who was a 70’s country singer from where I live. He had some good hits in his day, reaching the top of […]
I feel left out.
The birds don’t sing,
The music does not start.
The strength that I am suppose to have is not there.
Have I gone crazy?
I’m seeing a different world….. Or is this the world we live in?
why why why is the question i get asked everyday .
why are you sad why are you mad why are you hurt why are you depressed . why why why
why are you cutting why are you suicidal why do you wanna die .
why do you feel so alone .
and i just sit there and cry cause to be completely honest i dont know why i dont why i am such a mess or when it began.
i dont know why i wanna kill myself i just feel like it would be the best thing .
my bestfriend kellis commited suicide today […]
Let’s say that you’re going to have a party. You’ve planned it out, know exactly how it’ll go. You’re excited; this is going to be the most perfect party that there ever was.
Then, the guests arrive. As soon as they arrive, they begin criticizing and demeaning their surroundings; the same surroundings you took so much time preparing and setting up for your perfect party. They don’t like the booze, the food you’ve provided, they disparage the music because half of the guests hate the genre you’re playing, and the other half just don’t care. Some of your guests think your sense of style is severely […]
Don’t care about hope, will, or any other hopeful feeling. If u have the desire then u will do it. Despite what others think I’m done here. And here is my idea. With wolfs bane or monkshood mixed with belladonna and your favorite tea. How you decide to take it is your choice. Remember if you want it natural then be smart and make sure all evidence is destoryed. Pre make and then throw rest away. No letter but make sure you have the best day of your life. Do not be dramatic. Wash cup well or soak. I suggest put on dishwasher and turn […]
**Disclaimer: don’t do drugs mmkay. It is not my responsibility if you do, be safe, be careful, be responsible. Don’t do stupid shit.**
Guys I have been there. I want to show you what it is like but I can’t, I can only describe it. It was so intense, some might have been afraid in my situation, I thought even the bad parts made it better.
I took presumingly 140 microgrammes of LSD (well that is what the guy who sold it to me said). I took it at home by myself to explore my mind (not recommended, especially if it is your first experience with psychedelics. […]
I wish I could restart like a video game. Start over new so I could do everything differently. Every time I turn on my iPod every song I listen to has memories attached to them. I don’t want these memories any more.
I just want to forget the past and let go of this pain. This pain is like a rope that won’t hang me, instead it holds me back, stopping me from moving on.
I just want to let go of the past. The memories. The pain they cause.
I just want to move past this.
I don’t care how I do it, weather it’s with […]
my friend took his own life on march 18, 2013. he gambled with his own life as he spun the cylinder to his prized .45 revolver, looked dead into his best friend’s eyes and pulled the trigger… he had a 1 in 6 chance of death and he took that- he left no warnings before hand… i dont think he thought it would go off… Â but it did… and now he’s gone…….. he thought he had no one but his best friend- and even then, he knew he was gonna move in with his girlfriend and Robert would be homeless and living in his […]
is it weird to be thinking about music at my funeral? don’t know where this came from but i decided i wanted ” the sound of silence” old or new version played at my funeral. don’t know where this idea came from. i want to express my sorrow for those people who died in the psych hospital fire in russia. by pure chance i am a “nutjob” in a first world country. some of the russian patients died in their beds. sedated. sick.