i feel awful when I’m alone i feel like no one loves me or wants to be around me. which is probably true, i mean people just don’t like me. idk why I’m always nice maybe ill tell some bad jokes that aren’t funny sometimes but the good jokes come a lot more often than the bad. Maybe I’m not the coolest guy ever but people love me when we’re drunk i guess because its easy when neither of you can follow in conversation and just say whatever pops into our heads. but i guess my deep seeded hatred of myself comes from my inability to be […]
Tag:
my head
A guy from my school recently killed himself and it brought back my suicidal thoughts. It made me remember everything and now I just can’t get it out of my head. I want to just finally end it all. It seems so much better. I mean I just hate my life, I literally hate it. I can’t live this life anymore and I can’t sit here waiting for somebody to realize it and suddenly care
My heart is completely broken. Reality is setting in that I am now single and alone. My heart is pounding but my body feels numb. I can’t even eat, it just makes me feel sick. I’m at work right now wondering why the hell I didn’t just kill myself last night. I can’t handle all of these emotions running through my head. I can’t think straight about what I’m going to do with my life. Leaving is a way out of this all and it seems to be the perfect answer. I just want to be held. I want someone to smooth my hair over […]
I’m so fucking sick of this shit…every fucking day is filled with bullshit…my once saintly patience and ‘don’t sweat the small stuff attitude are long gone…ground down to nothing with having to deal with shitheads…spineless pieces of shit…petty fucking assholes and fucking idiots all day long everyday for what seems like an eternity. I would blow my head off now if it wasn’t for my daughter…2.5 years old…the thought of her being raised by her fucking stubborn-ass mother and her fucking retarded white trash family makes my skin crawl…everything I do is criticized and every imperfection magnified 100x…I am at the end of my rope…I […]
I tried to write something meaningful, but my head hurts so fucking bad that I’m afraid I must retire for the night. Goodnight everyone. Sleep well if you can.
Hi everyone,
Hope you’re all well.
I was diagnosed with [condition] where I was prescribed codeine (sort of like morphine) to ease the horrible, physical pain. However, it really makes my head spin which also makes the sadness go away. In fact, I feel almost happy. I know this can happen when you take opiates and i’m trying my best not to become addicted to them (which I am not) but sometimes, I just wish I could take one whenever I feel down. It’s horrible thinking but I was just wondering if people on here know what I mean.
Comments are really appreciated. Thanks
Your Nobody.
Tonight is going to be hard. I stayed the past two nights at my moms best friends house who is considered my “Aunt” so I call her my aunt and her brother and sister in law came over for the first time in years along with both their sons. Me and her nephew, Brandon used to have a this thing together not a relationship but just a closeness and I haven’t seen him in 3 years. I had 24 hour with him and those 24 hours are going to effect me for the rest of the week and maybe even more. He is the first […]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=46teotoyLiw
What’s your excuse for all of this?
It’s 12 o’clock and it’s times like these I know for sure won’t be missed
but for now, it’ll always be raining in my mind
I can’t take back what I said, words that go your way seem to disconnect
It’s burning me inside and out, but yet my heart’s so cold.
It’s another night I have to face being all alone.
I never thought it was possible, but I’m seeing shades of grey.
This weight you left me, just gave you away.
I won’t face today, all my thoughts keep bringing me down
Not a single […]
“Rory, what’s the weather like in that head of yours?”
“In my head?”
“Yes, what’s the weather like?”
“The weather is…ill.”
“And by ill, you mean?”
“I mean…the weather does not bode well for how I’d rather be feeling.”
“So what you’re saying is, you would like to be happy but thoughts prevent you from such happiness?”
“Sure, you sound like you already knew that.”
“To an extent, but I’d like to hear it from you. Tell me all about this ‘weather’.”
“It’s cloudy, like it usually is. I can’t see or feel the sun against my skin. I can’t hear the birds singing. I can’t smell anything but the inevitable rain soon to […]
yup title says it all. swallowed 20 aprin i didnt even fucking cry i was shaking though after about 10 minutes i felt fine and went to school. when i got there i was already feeling sick so i laid my head on my friends lap. it hurt to move and talk i had no strength. i told him what i did but he didnt get the hint to go get the nurse.so me myself had to walk around school from my class i was in to the office to my locker back to the class to the office. didnt throw up untill […]
It’s not something as dramatic as suicide but I want your help.
The last three years, I have been in a very weird phase of my life. When I go outside , alone, I feel that people are thinking bad things of me and I feel that there is a big cloud over my head and they can see whatever I have on my mind. I am overweight and I eat unhealthy food with big ammounts on my plate. It’s not like I am a glutton but it’s like I force myself to eat it. I have never had a real friend. Noone that I could […]
okay, so my last post was really positive! But this one isn’t going to be!
ever just have one of them days where even being in someone’s company annoys you but you can’t stand to be alone?
I chose to eat a lot this morning, I used to comfort eat a lot! but then my head just went. So made it all come back out, I made myself sick until I felt weak. Until my belly burned.
Then I went into my room and self harmed. I was doing so fucking well but today I lost it! Worst part is I didn’t even cry! I felt no emotion […]
Ever had memories so intense that you just wanna bang your head against the fn wall until they go away?
by wndozh8er
written by wndozh8er
i remember in school, I had a couple times when girls pretended to like me and than made fun of me with there friends the next day. I remember this one was wanting to meet me at the park. Ha never happened.
The reason I brought this up is because that’s exactly what happened to me yesterday but over the fn Internet. I just wanna get all these memories out of my head. One tragedy always leads to existential breakdowns with me. Alcohol, pills, there only temporary. Death is forever.
I hate roller coasters…..the rides and the emotional ones. I want this fucking shit to just stop. […]
Not for me but my friend. He has passed. Taken his own life. I was emailed the news. Horror filled me. I fell to my knees and wept. I was lone and still I buried my face into my hands to hide my sorrow. I felt the pressure build inside my head, my stomach turned. He knew that I loved him. I don’t have to regret him not knowing. I never left him. Never gave up on him. It wasn’t enough. His demons were ruthless and unrelenting.
He was hurt over and over again by the people who should have been his protection. I feel numb, […]
So I experienced a massive cardiac episode two years ago last May. My arteries in my chest literally tore themselves apart. I was on the table for ten hours, I was cliniy dead for half an hour during that time, no brain activity, no machine, 42deg and dead.
It was nice, I have had major depression for more than ten years. I have horrible paranoia of my wife who is 2000 miles away and I can’t control these horrible emotional outbursts anymore. I am a horrible person sometimes and I can only sit in the back of my head and watch the pain it causes.
I am […]
I have self harmed in so many different ways throughout the years. I began by banging my head repeatedly on a wall when I was maybe in 3rd grade. That lasted until 7th grade when I figured out that if I scratch my forearms until they’re raw and hold my finger over the still raw wound it would make me feel something other than the constant anxiety. I continued to scratch until 11th grade when I conjured up my courage and actually cut myself. It became an addiction and now my thighs are no longer clean. In 11th grade I also began seriously attempting suicide. […]
Ah, the beginning of the school year. Makes you want to tear up a little, doesn’t it? I mean, anxiety attacks are no stranger to me, so tearing up comes naturally. But hearing that first bell in the hallowed halls of Woodford High School made me cringe in my Vera Bradley backpack. Don’t get me wrong, getting to see the little freshman cower in fear was SSOO much fun, but seeing all the couples and relationships makes me want to smack my head on a wall. It’s fine though. The first day isn’t always as horrible as people make it out to be. I mean, […]
Should I take the razor again? Should I bang my head against the wall again? Should I think of suicide again?
Why is life unfair to me? On and on I kept asking. Could it be due to my ignorance, my defiance? But it is still an open question for me, with more questionable answers. I have survived this long by embedding into my mindset that life is unfair and I must accept it. But I am asking again now… Why? Why is there nothing to do to but accept? Why must someone born to be so broken? Why must someone’s path be so crooked? […]
It was supposed to be my last week alive, I won’t say that I was Excited about it. I didn’t want to die, but when I stopped and thought about it, Suicide was really my best option. Of course I still had, and still do, have this pathetic Hope that I can Live a Life full of Happiness, Fulfillment, and Love. I Digress. So Here I am getting ready for My Final Week on earth. I had been put on Suicide watch, I was considered a High Risk Individual. My mistake for talking to a female online, fucking ***** tricked me, and called the cops […]
Its like nobosy care how i feel i tell them how i feel then they say the kind rhing to me because its watyhu suppose to say life is really stressin me to the point i wanna give up i try commiting suicide couple time but something always stops me from going with the process for instance today i try to put a bag ova my head so i couldnt breath but i couldnt do it i dont know what do do any more