Tag:

my life

My lovely caring man-boy entry 2

by tauruswrangler 7/17/2014

written by tauruswrangler

We fought last night and the harsh truth came out. My deepest fears swam to the surface drawn out by his mouth. I begged and told him my fears and troubles and they were confirmed by telling me they were uncared for and deserved. My being, dignity, pride and any settlement in self were mashed all by his sewer. My place and image in the workplace shifted to the bad plain because of him and his embarrassing mouth trying all too hard to gain masculinity. I am uncomfortable in my skin, squirming with shame to get out because of him. Him,him him. I am apparently […]

7/17/2014 0 comment

Tired and done entry 1

by tauruswrangler 7/17/2014

written by tauruswrangler

Today I had to see the doctor. He upped my medication. I went about my errands ignoring the everyday,past and future stresses that plague my mind, constant racing to be on work on time, get paid this week, please my loved one and not crash and burn. The bustle on the other hand gives my life substance but I feel a balance will fall askew. My job in sales gives me a certain social interaction I have craved in my life but it has also shown me the harsh truth about human kind and their mindset. People and their brains are easily manipulated and like […]

7/17/2014 1 comment

I Need Someone

by M_Broken 7/17/2014

written by M_Broken

I am 15 and unfortunately a depressed and frustrated girl. I never had a normal life. I had all kinds of bitter experiences uptil now. My life lacks one thing the most ‘LOVE’ …I wish someone special would be there in my life who would magically fix everything up and would love and care for me so much that i wont feel depressed anymore.

7/17/2014 13 comments

I’m really tired and dont want to be survival again & again..

by Irene.Jr 7/17/2014

written by Irene.Jr

Honestly I’m ready to end up my life this time. Its very hard to let myself keep survive and put a side for all the issues I had in my life. Its make me always felt hurt & cries everytime I look in myself.

When 10 yrs ago, if my first time suicide succeed, probably this time I’ll no need do more cruel action on myself. Absolutely this time I’ll no more use pills and its was right taking pills could not put in death. What a waste action, but this time I’m surely my 2nd action for suicide and die will be success.

I’m […]

7/17/2014 0 comment

It’s not fair.

by Sadnesskills 7/17/2014

written by Sadnesskills

I don’t know why I have to have depression. I don’t think it’s fair that I have to sit up every night crying about not being loved and cared for by people that truly mean so much to me. To be up all night wishing I was better. Nicer. Prettier. Skinnier. Smarter. Funnier. I don’t think it’s fair for me to want to die. I’m not perfect. I’ve messed up more times then I could ever remember. But was really so bad that now I have to live like this for the rest of my life? I’ve been trying everything to become happy. I want […]

7/17/2014 1 comment

No Joy

by euterpe68 7/17/2014

written by euterpe68

Suicide.

A word whispered in our home on and off over the past 30 years. I attempted suicide when I was 17 and almost succeeded. I went on to ‘be normal’ with threats of ECT and other drugs. So I tried to act as ‘normal’ as one possibly could with the childhood I had. I watched my mother be beaten to a bloody pulp, moved so many times I lost count, was molested and have never felt like I ‘belonged’. Eventually I started going to church which helped a lot and the panic attacks subsided and I went on to earn a […]

7/17/2014 0 comment

Sorry I didnt call…..

by RuinsOfTheVoid 7/16/2014

written by RuinsOfTheVoid

I have really mixed emotions about coming back to sp.

I battled with depression, suicide, cutting and general shit in my life and I have come close to death many times. I believed that life was never going to get better, that I was going to die a lonely virgin loser and bring shame and hurt to my family. I have stood atop the highest building in my college and peered over the edge and stood there for many painful hours. I have cut deep, and popped pills. I was badly beaten as a child periodically and mentally tortured. I came here and wrote angry posts […]

7/16/2014 7 comments

by M_Broken 7/16/2014

written by M_Broken

hello! As you can guess from my name who i am..yes i am broken..i have lost everything in my life.
i have a pretty much hard and pathetic life uptill now and i have always fought back..i am a warrior..or maybe i was one…
i really don’t like breathing anymore ..it has become suffocating now.. i just feel like running away ..and the best way to run away is to die..i still have hopes that maybe there would be a magic and everything would be alright…but i think i need to quit…..

7/16/2014 6 comments

by uselessnothing 7/16/2014

written by uselessnothing

Hello, my name’s Olivia. Now this post might be long and sad but I will guarantee every individual who comes across it that it is the sad truth.

Now, for starters, I’m not here looking for answers, I’m here with more of a purpose to write a simple blog until my final days. I’d always envisioned that my last days would be spent alone in my room with nothing but my laptop writing away my last thoughts and feelings. And well, look where I’ve ended up, so in the long run, I can’t say it was all that bad 🙂

This is open to the public so […]

7/16/2014 27 comments

Teenage Problems

by depressednihilist95 7/16/2014

written by depressednihilist95

In 11th grade, everything began to fall apart. I lost all motivation in everything. I had to accept the reality that I would be graduating high school, and many of my friends would be gone from my life. I stopped studying because I didn’t see a point. I had realised that I was completely alone and helpless in life. My friends wouldn’t be with me forever. They could never fully understand me. I began to wonder why I was living. Emotions were something that were very important to me, but I realised that to the universe, they are meaningless. I could fall in love with […]

7/16/2014 8 comments

Liar Liar Pants on Fire!!!

by RealTalk30 7/15/2014

written by RealTalk30

“I love you with all of my heart and soul”
“We are always going to be together forever”
“You are my soul mate, my one and only, my true love”
“I never want to be without you, I can’t even imagine my life without you”
“I want to make you proud of me”
“I want to do what’s right”
“Please don’t leave me, I’m trying..really I am”
“You’ve always been my better half”
“Sometimes things are just meant to be”
“You always know what to say”
“I’m sorry I’m so closed off”
“You make me so happy, I don’t have words to explain”
“I need […]

7/15/2014 17 comments

Failed University think im going to slip again.

by Mrblue1990 7/15/2014

written by Mrblue1990

First of all sorry but i have wrote a lot, i have poured as much as i can say into this and feel completely lost and don’t know where to turn. I don’t want to burden anyone else with my problems but i just have no dea what to do.

I’m pretty much back to square one. I’ m no better than the 16 year old me who left school and had nothing to show for it.

I was diagnosed with manic depression at the age of 16 (although they were plenty of signs that i had this throughout my childhood) […]

7/15/2014 7 comments

Going Down Swinging (my final decision)

by SeasOfBlue 7/15/2014

written by SeasOfBlue

Well, the way I see it, at this point in my life the depression has the biggest chance of winning… But I’ll be damned if I’ll sit by and let it take me down without a fight.

I know my chances of surviving until the next year are very slim. I’ve accepted that. Death does not haunt me, but neither does it call my name as intently as it did several days ago.

After reading over everyone’s encouragement and advice, I’ve made up my mind. I can either succumb to the darkness right now or I can try as hard as I can to escape it. Granted, […]

7/15/2014 10 comments

help?

by martijn 7/15/2014

written by martijn

Hello, my name is Martijn. I’m a 15 year old boy. I’ve had a depression before when I was about 12. It lasted about a year. Ive been in therapy and been taking medication since then. The following 3 years of my life have been great. But half a year ago, I started fealing anxious again. strange, violent toughts towards me and the people around me popped op in my head. I often felt empty, as in a dream but i couldn’t ‘wake up’. It felt like I didn’t use my medication anymore, wich I have to control my anxiety. Since then, I started feeling […]

7/15/2014 4 comments

Try to live.

by shadowhawk 7/15/2014

written by shadowhawk

I just want to die.

I hate my life.

Try to live my life.

Live with my ADD.

Live with my social awkwardness.

Live with my slight autism.

Live with it all.

It’s a fucking nightmare.

I’ve tried getting help but it never works.

It never will.

I’m done.

It’s over.

7/15/2014 3 comments

Bad Drug

by bblan26 7/15/2014

written by bblan26

2 years ago I took the medication propecia for 9 days. My life has never been the same. These last two years my life has been a living hell. I have so many problems now. I am impotent, fat, severely depressed, fatigue, muscle loss, brainfog, dry skin, weakness. Also my face looks aged now 10 yrs! I try to get on zoloft but the sexual sides are unbearable. My body barely tolerates psychiatric medicine now. I feel trapped. I really dont want life to be over because im only 25 yrs old. But im getting worse not better. And there are hundreds of other men […]

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7/15/2014 4 comments

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natur for me

by naturman 7/15/2014

written by naturman

I have my house and my garden,but i crumble knowing that i have been a cheater.i cant get over it,ooo its so dam bad.i have been smoking an drink for years,wy am i still here?

i have always like my life but i have cheated for many year

a frend of mine i used to work with,he treat me like shit but the others so well

i am living knowing that i have cheated.i try to be a good man.i treat my kids well.they are adults most of them

pleas can i go back to nature whit the birds and animals?
I tink i belong there
it is lovly

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7/15/2014 1 comment

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Firefly In

by Dark Firefly 7/15/2014

written by Dark Firefly

I don’t even know where to begin.

I don’t even know if this website is still active.

I just, there’s some thing weird going on inside me and I don’t know how to explain it.

I’ve been suffering for 6 years, depression and anxiety. PTSD.

I sometimes feel like I’m getting better, but then suddenly… I’m just not.

I don’t want to die, but I feel misplaced here. I find myself crying to go home… but I am home. I’m in my bedroom, but I still cry for home. Home is where the heart is, but where is my heart?

I hope I don’t violate the rules on this website. Please, […]

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7/15/2014 5 comments

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Whats the point

by dani12 7/14/2014

written by dani12

“Things will get better” is what people usually say when you’re depressed.I don’t see that happening I see things getting worse.I tell my “friends” i just feel like dying.They don’t even ask whats wrong,They just tell me to not give up.I have all these feelings and things trapped inside of me.I figure if I go they wouldn’t care.School is worse I like to be one of those non social kids the more I get away the more noticeable I am. I’m fine with people calling me weirdo no one is normal but being called the devil,Satan,Satanic because of my music and my style really gets […]

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7/14/2014 2 comments

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It’s spiraling out of control

by AfflictedSmile 7/14/2014

written by AfflictedSmile

Living in tornado valley, there’s always the calm before the storm. You can try to predict it, and hide from it. You can try and move, but eventually it finds you. You can try to stay where you are, and prepare for it. Sometimes that works, and other times it’s as if it was for nothing. Stand up and swear at it, dare it to come at you head on. Dare it to swallow you whole. Does any of it even matter or make a difference. The people not in the storm front, will never understand what it’s like. So it’s futile to even try […]

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7/14/2014 37 comments

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