no one knows what am going thru, life is just one big fucking joke to me and no one cares. i cry myself to sleep every night. I’m so fucking useless that y everyone walks out of my life. They dnt care about me. as soon as i die everyone will be so glad im gone. thats if they even remember i exist
Tag:
my life
This is the first time I have wrote on one of these so not sure what to expect. I’m looking for maybe an answer or someone to agree with me, anything really.
So I’ve been with my fiancé for ten years and we have three amazing children together, we have had so much bad luck together and lots of ups and downs. I have made a fair few decisions that have not helped us in our relationship two just recently, I got a number off a girl and arranged to meet but didn’t because I realised it was wrong, I know that’s not the […]
I just finished my last cigarette and I’m sitting outside looking over the past and present and I can’t help but to feel sad. I just realized how alone I really am. I have no friends, no one to talk to, and nothing to do. My sleep schedule is messed up; I sleep all day and stay awake all night, so everything is shrouded by silence and I’m my only friend. I feel lonely. I’ve lost everything that once made me feel alive and that’s all I think about. I wish I had someone, anyone, to make me feel again. My life revolves around YouTube […]
HI. I’ve just found this site. I know if my boyfriend or friends or housemates knew I was here they would be devastated. But I am struggling.
I first attempted suicide and began a relationship with self-harm aged 15. I’m now 30. I have a standard abuse history. I most definitely am not original. My parents emotionally and physically abused me. My friend raped me at a party when I was 16. My boyfriend died when I was 17. My friend’s father used me as a sex pet when I was living with her family when I was 17. My boyfriend beat me when I was […]
12+ years!!By that time Ima have a family & everything!!My closest friend Is getting locked up for 12+years!!I’m not really sure how long cause he hasen’t gone to court or anything but the thing he did Is already 12+years & he hasen’t even been convicted yet!!I used to kick It with him everyday!!About a month ago I finally told a friend that I got molested when I was younger,that friend was him!!He wanted to whoop my cousin but I told him na you don’t got to lift a finger,It happened.All’s you can do Is move on.Not even a week before he got locked up I […]
Like most people I’ve lived my life hoping the end would come quick and painless. When I decided to end my life I researched all the quick and painless ways, settling on a combination of methods that would supposedly do the trick in a dozen heartbeats or less, all the while being drunk and drugged out of my wits so I wouldn’t feel a thing.
How wrong. I realize now, injured and alone (don’t worry, this is not The One) that I like this feeling. Lying here feeling damaged beyond repair with no one pestering me to bandage myself up of go to the hospital or […]
Does anybody else think of jumping in front of a train every time you hear the sound of it or see it?
Think of jumping in front of every moving car? Crashing your car? Lying down in the freeway?
Think of jumping off every high height you see?
Think of stabbing yourself?
Think of hanging yourself?
Triggered into suicidal thoughts through anything you could possibly hurt yourself with?
Want to get a gun and shoot yourself and be gone forever?
How about every time an ambulance goes by, you think, why that person and not me? I want to die. Give me some way out, please.
Think of drowning and suffocating and water […]
This is beginning to be too much. The world has been so dark and hopeless for the past year. I can’t figure out what’s wrong with me. I keep telling myself, “You’re fine. Get the fuck out of bed, and live your life.” only to discover that I have no motivation. I tell myself I do, but I don’t. After the stress, the tears, the panic attacks, the breakdowns. I can’t bring myself to admit that I need help. I don’t need help. I just don’t. I can’t bring myself to even talk to people anymore. Everyone thinks I’m mad at them, but ever since […]
Dear family friends and the love of my life,
I have finally hit the wall I cant do this anymore. The pain is just to much. I beg for a way out and this is I guess the only solution to my problems. Isaac I love you more than anything but you could do so much better than me. Please don’t mourn over my death and be happy with another girl.. Melissa my sweet little sister stay strong and don’t let them walk on you like I let them do to me. Mother and father you two are part of the reason I’m doing this. You […]
Everywhere I go people have something horrible to say about me, whether it’s that I’m an idiot / retard / moron / ugly or disgusting… they just never have anything positive to say and lack the empathy or sympathy to understand how much it hurts. I have no chance of survival because is no way for me to escape emotional pain. Some people would laugh at me behind my back or right in my face and say things like “he’s the ugliest person I’ve ever seen” or “he’s a worthless piece of shit” and some things that people have said have really stuck with me […]
I am looking for a way to commit suicide easily but i didn’t find a way. there is always hard to find a easy way even for dying. Life never give us easy choices, Life is giving me hard choices live with regrets as a looser or die. are these only options or there is another option but i can’t see it because there is so much darkness around me. maybe there is some other way , trying to find new hope trying to push my self for keep fighting not to loose hope. every day i wake up for finding new hope and every […]
So I’ve suspected what was coming for a few weeks and had plenty of time to contemplate what would happen. My love finally told me last night she wasn’t coming home to me and that she needed a divorce. Unfortunately she’s halfway around the world “defending our country” and I’m left home keeping her house ready for her for the next couple months. Of course when she gets back I’ll need to leave my life behind. My family, house, sanity becomes hers. She’s not angry and has been talking to me about getting help but it doesn’t help. I’m currently in therapy and on meds […]
So I am new here, I’ve read some of your stories and from what I’ve read you all seem like such strong, kind, loving caring people.
I know people have this attitude towards suicide and the word strong does not come up very often.
However yes you are strong!
You have made it this far and I hope with all my heart something will come to you to help you through your dark times and help you towards a light (not particularly a religious one, but something that will give you hope to carry on).
I guess my story is a survival story, I am […]
so, here is my story. back 2012, i moved school so i could be a more dedicated student and stuff, but what i actually did was study like a slave for 14 hours or more. i also had all my teachers saying “how are you going to enter a university? you need to study harder” and that’s what i did. i stopped doing everything i loved, i stopped watching movies, reading books that weren’t from school, texting or calling friends, or even hanging out with friends, i also stopped listening to music (yes somehow i managed to do that) and taking pictures of myself). my […]
I’ve been depressed for years. Abused at an early age by a neaighbor.. That was the start. I got into trouble hung out with the assholes for no reason other them they were in pain too. I have a beautifal family who i love so much. It kills me to be the way i am. I went to prison i hurt people in fights and i paid dearly for it. I found out one day that i wasn’t like the sociopaths i was surrounded by and i had a massive nervous breakdown. I was. Sent to a psych ward and then i spent 18 months […]
I sit in my room every night weighing up the pro’s and con’s of ending my life? And most days the pro’s out weigh the con’s, but then I remember what I’d been told.
“suicide is a selfish act”.
Is that so? I can’t get my head around which is more selfish. Taking your own life, or being made to live it?
Yes before it crosses your mind I do cut myself, but I do it in random places not in lines so all it looks like is a few normal scars. I probably do it so keep some sort of sense of control so […]
The love of my life left me six weeks ago. We have been together 7 years, have been best friends for 12 years, and we have 2 daughters. She is my world, my everything. I’ve invested my entire heart and soul into her. I gave up every dream I had to be with her. She was that much to me. When we got together, our love transcended time. Romeo and Juliet was a farce in comparison to us. Our souls were connected, we loved beyond measure. At least that was what I believed. You see, I have always been depressed. I’ve lived with depression and […]
It has been awhile since I thought about something remotely close to the end of my life cycle, but I don’t think I can see that far ahead. I doubt anyone can, unless, of course, one is terminally ill and the end is really nigh. In fact, things in my life have been so randomly confusing or misleading, that sometimes, it feels better to keep my eyes closed; to look inward beyond the void of nothingness; to find a piece of serenity through meditation; to feel the weightlessness of sleep only to wake up in what appears to be a dream. Sometimes, I wake up […]
I’m just so done with this stupid life. I’ve never fit in no matter what. I suck at life and want to die. I have no purpose or meaning in my life. I’m a failure and all I do is suck at life. The only purpose to my life is that of being a fucking loser nobody. I hate myself.
I’m never going to have friends. Nobody likes me. I’m drinking to numb my pain before another suicide attempt.
I’m going to try a variety of things tonight. I don’t belong here in this world and don’t know why I’m even here.
all that I am good at […]
Despite watching everything in my life crumble and dissintigrate into nothing around me, my best friend from home decides to text me out of the blue. After handling her crisis, she says to me, ” You have always been the strongest and most grounded person I have ever known and will ever know.” What she doesn’t know is her text stopped me from inhaling a rather large handful of assorted pills. Her comment…I don’t know if I feel more ashamed for wanted to take my life or if I feel better for knowing that I can keep my fading life under control for other people.
I […]