I would love to wake up and not feel so much pain emotionally and physically! I’m starting to feel that my life is hopeless and unreal. I’m 26 and from what I’ve experienced throughout my short little life on this planet, has been the epiphany of hell its self. Everyday I wake up I’m hoping for it to be my last day, but I’m never lucky. I had tried suicide in the past, but they were a load of bullshit methods. But now I’ve figured out that the only way out of this world is strictly painful methods. We want to go painlessly, but that […]
Tag:
my life
I’ve spent most of my life being suicidal. Every single day I wake up and wonder if it’s going to be my last. I exist in a dissociated haze or fog 99% of the time. I really hate my life. I don’t so much hate my job — I think I just hate doing anything that takes any effort… like I am just so thoroughly tired that I don’t give a shit enough to lift a finger for myself anymore. I just want to not work and wait for the credit card to run out and then kill myself.
Over the past seven years I’ve drifted […]
My name’s DeathsAngel like the book I have arthritis, fibromialgia, CRPS, gird, aspergers, am bipolar, have manic depression, here voices, see a shadow, was abused as a child and am severely bullied. I have wanted to kill myself for three years. Last year I told my mom and she sent my to the hospital ever since then I have constant med switches but nothing is helping. I’m under eighteen so I have no say in my meds. I’m severally obese or at least medically obese, and ugly don’t even try to fight me on it. I have no self esteem. Make-up does nothing to improve […]
I’m a piece of fucking shit and this world should throw a “thank fuck he’s dead” no-expense-sparred party when I drop dead! After dreading my cousins wedding for days and not sleeping for the past week it’s turned out as bad as I imagined. Ofc it would because everything that could have gone wrong in my life has and always will occur… my mum dying shortly after I was born, being beaten and abused, bullied, being fucking retarded and barely hitting puberty, and being mentally ill.
I fucked up the whole day. I got lost driving to the place, I couldn’t find a seat and everyone […]
im a big big losser , i failed in everything in my life . i failed to get a job even im an engineer , failed to get a driving lisecnce even im 24 years old but i keep fail in the exam. i failed in love and she cheated on me . i failed in my body and i gained 35 lb and lost my hair
how my life can get worse than this ?!?!?!
My anxious is peeking and for the stupidest of reasons. I just want to go home, get in bed and sleep the next week away. There is a pretty high probability I am going to run into an ex next week. Ideally, I don’t want to run into her, nor have her know I’m in the building, but life likes to throw these tests at us.
Even though I am going to do everything in my power to avoid meeting face to face, I just can’t stop planning out how such a potential interaction will go. Why do I keep planning and analyzing a future situation […]
I overdosed about 3 months ago and was involuntarily baker-acted. That was when my family became aware of the magnitude of my bipolar type II disorder.
I have battled with mental illness most of my adult life. Things have gotten worse.
I am about to turn 50. I had a successful career where I made very good money. I worked in publishing, an industry that is all but dead. I had a nice house, a couple of cars, a boat. Things weren’t perfect, but they were OK. Then I left my job to work from home on my wife’s business, and take care of my newborn daughter. Long […]
ive been in care from a year old. throughout my childhood it was a never ending stream of social workers, supervised access visits and confusion.my foster parents threw me out when I was 12 as apparently they couldn’t cope with me – I was swearing, smoking a little and being generally grim (normal teenager but whatever) from there was the downfall, or maybe that started when I was born who knows. I lived with 2 other fosters carers after that (1 of which sexually abused me) and I left care when I was 15 to get away from all the nightmares.from then my real mum […]
I have had everything given to me and I screwed it all up…..I have a bad habit of smoking pot and hookah
My parents provided me with everything and my habits, along with a habit of stealing got me in a lot of legal trouble
I got into legal trouble in 2001 and was arrested for a felony, but the prosecutor was nice enough to knock it down to a misdemeanor
I got into medical school in 2004….got kicked out a year later for smoking pot and getting caught for stealing a wifi connector from the computer lab in the med school and shoplifting at a store….again it […]
Well, where do I start? I’ll start with the reason I decided to even consider writing this. Well while messing around on my laptop, I realized I haven’t left my room for a week, minus going to the bathroom, eating, and showering. After that I realized I’ve been in my room for a lot of my life. I’m not very close with my mom, I push her away when she tries to get close. I have plenty of friends, I just prefer to stay in my room and talk to people over the internet. I left my room last week to go on a walk […]
What a fun site. The chance to share the most private of thoughts.
Where to begin…
By all accounts you would think that my life was perfect, or close enough. Very successful in my field, well-loved by my community, a fun set of hobbies, not in financial crisis. So what’s wrong?
I’ve always suffered from depression. Thoughts of suicide. My wife has been great at keeping me out of it. But over the years, she has grown so very distant. I don’t think she is cheating on me; it’s not in her personality. But these days she’s a roommate, nothing more. Intimacy has dried up to infrequent… and […]
Till this day I cry when I get touched there.Thats how fucked I am,thank you cousin.
written by lifeishorrible
Last week I went to the city jail for traffics that I thought somehow vanished.I was pissed cause I was acting all cocky when they pulled up.I was like why are y’all here were not doing anything here.They asked for my name,I gave It to them In anger,a minute later I’m being handcuffed & they told me I had nine traffic ticket warrents.I was In a shitty mode cause I was finally getting better & this shit happens so Is felt like shit on the way there.When I get there they started to search me and then he put his hands there!!I moved & said […]
I’m 16 years old and I’m considering suicide. My life is so useless I’m nothing but a leeche that sucks off my mother and fathers hard working cash. everytime I try to look at my sister to say hi she looks at me as if I was a creep . My own brother calls me a fatty and never stops saying it but he’s right. I’m addicted to gaming and this has led to my bad grades and I could never make my mom and dad proud. I’m so lazy and a waste of space this is all my fault I’m obese and I have […]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=shdiTRxTJb4
One was watching the other day a red-tailed hawk, high in the heavens, circling effortlessly,
without a beat of a wing, just for the fun of flying, just to be sustained by the air-currents.
Then it was joined by another, and they were flying together for quite a while;
they were marvellous creatures in that blue sky,
and to hurt them in any way is a crime against heaven.
Of course there is no heaven; man has invented heaven out of hope, for his life has become a hell,
an endless conflict from birth to death, coming and going, making money, working endlessly.
This life […]
I’ve always liked that song. My time here on earth is almost up. I have only a few items that remain on my checklist. Throughout this process the only regrets I have is never being in love, never having a child of my own, and not being around to see my nieces and nephews grow up. I’m not afraid of dying. I thought I would be but I realized that fear was based on religious beliefs and on the uncertainty of whether I would be successful in my suicide attempt. I’ve decided not to fret about either what is meant to be will be. I […]
Believe it or not I am vacationing in Italy right now. I am visiting my parents (who have been here for the last year) and my mama and my self are in rome. I have been going through a custody battle for about the last year. My son is 5 years old and i had him for the first 3 1/2 years until i sent him to his dads to recover from my addiction and restore my mental health… then he decided not to send him back. (Granted his father wasnt a part of his life until then and moved clear across the country to […]
I’ve got a date with a boy (it’s a miracle) but I don’t know when the appropriate time to talk about my depression is. Do I just throw it out there bc it’s such a big part of my life or do I wait?
Hie,i am new here.And i have planned to die.Or rather,planning to do so.I have read quite a few posts here,and i believe that there is a lot of frustration,self-unworthiness and bitterness amongst each of us.
I am an 18 yr old,just completed my 12th.I have been feeling depressed since,i guess,6th std.That was the time when my father came back from oman coz he lost his job.Since childhood i probably have been a girl with a lot of self-pride.Most importantly,i always needed validation from others as to who i am.I believe that it is due to my own weakness;my inability to accept myself.Anyway,so my problems started in […]
I’m a 42 year old woman and I have battled depression all of my life.  I have three serious failed suicide attempts that landed me in ICU.  I’m suffering from a clinical depression and I’m on four anti-depressants that are not giving me any relief.  I’m such a burden on my family that I don’t want to live anymore.  My mom has been with me for 12 weeks and is going back home in a couple of days.  I had to move back in with my ex-husband because I could not take care of myself.  I stopped eating because I had no appetite.  I feel guilty […]
Socially phobic, housebound, very depressed, panic disorder, no prospects or way out
written by coldbloodedoldtimes
Hi all
I’ve been debiliated by a very strong fear of people for years that got worse and worse and worse, this severe social phobia then caused depression, then panic attacks and agoraphobia. I’m now 24 and have nothing at all going for me. I can’t see any way out of my situation- yes depression plays a part in this, but my social phobia leaves me pretty much a selective mute who has been largely housebound for 5 years. I couldn’t finish education, I couldn’t work, I now have literally nothing on my CV, and even if my social phobia magically went away and I didn’t […]