So, I have two large tattoos on my arm that I fucking hate. One is a pink riot grrl tattoo with a skull and crossbones and the one underneath my arm says “stupid ******”. I already know that I am crazy it runs in my family. I was conceived in a state mental hospital. So I sort of am naturally inclined to fuck up already. which sucks because I am a transgender and I have a stupid ****** tattoo. and I really only got this tattoo out of self harm and too scare the shit out of people who would try to attack me for crossdressing. […]
Tag:
my self
I don’t see the point of staying alive anymore.
This is the conclusion I’ve come up with after the past 7 years. I just don’t see why I should keep going.
I’ve been faking my way through life for years now. My parents doesn’t know about it and if they did they’d make it worse.
I’d like to talk to a friend but i don’t have a lot and none of my current friends would understand how i feel.
Over the past year I’ve started to feel less and less joy from doing the things i liked once. I tear through book and don’t think any thing about them. […]
They all seem to know who
I am supposed to be, not
So clear is it to me
How easily I fell, grasping
On to rancid ideals, leaving
Just whisps of my self. Believing
Their foolish words, imposed, freakish tones
Opened me up to the bones that bore Truth,
And that All, allowing me to be
So grim. Were the lessons learned?
Nothing left but to give thanks
For a life I could not live with
My self in their world, or any.
I’m sorry.
I am 24 and I have struggled with these thoughts since I have been 16 or so there are voices in my head that constantly tell me I will never be good enough I will never be happy I have tried to kill my self so many times the only thing in my life that has stopped me is moving on without me I held a loaded 45 to my head last night and I have never come that close to ending myselfy my parents have said that everything that’s wrong with there life is my fault and they have no son my girlfriend is […]
i am a29years male,nothing exites me any more, i dont have any friends, i always thought about suiside,attemted few times but failed, my parents dont know it, i have quit my job,want to kill my self any how, i dont sleep now ,dont know whether i have insominia or not, but it doesnt mater anymore,its not that i havent fight it,, i am fighting it from past 3 or 4 years, but it beyond control now, i just want to kill myself anyhow possible,plz dont give me crap shit, just tell me new and possible painfull ways of death.
Hi im 20 and ive benn doing weed for like 6 years or 7 i tryed once to commit suicide but i was not ready ive benn doing ither drugs to but ive been doing weed every day for the last 2 years and qhile im high i think my self dying couz i cant stand my family problems and what my parents do to my brothers too and im just a fucking punk who likes to sell weed drugs and have knifes so i think very strong a way put by giving an end couz im at my limits cant stand this thing anymore.
this might be my last post in this website. I want to suicide today because I’m tiered of everything I tried to survive but I can’t NO ONE UNDERSTANDS ME. I hate everyone I hate my parents , my self everyone. I just want to say thank you to everyone who tried to help me
I always asked my self this question (why do people change???) but I never found an answer for it. I found so many people changed in my life some are my friends and even my mom had changed these few 2 years maybe even I changed and I didn’t realized that. there are some positive changes but most people if they changed they change into the negative side . when I use to be a kid I use to come back from school and I find my mom baked for me a cake and I sit to drink my milk with the cake but now […]
It’s gotten so bad lately. Like, seriously, I’m doing worse in school and I’ve been so close to ending it 4 times in the past 2 months. I have it all planned, I can just never execute the plan. What am I suppose to do? Everything is getting worse, my friend might die from an illness and my other “friend” just causes me stress and makes it hard to not relapse. I already have but I’ve been clean since but it’s so hard to not relapse. I want it. But I don’t. I don’t want anymore scars, I don’t want to hurt. Sometimes I feel […]
the shrink doesn’t think there is anymore drug wise he can do for me. he doesn’t think my depression is a chemical imbalance . so as of today i have stopped taking my meds. he doesn’t know this. i guess he will figure it out when i stop seeing him. from my research it seems i will be in for a hell of a ride. oh well. doesn’t sound like any of it will be lethal but one can hope. maybe the only thing it will accomplish is to clarify my desire to be dead. been thinking about it hard and heavy. haven’t procured the […]
No point in living im am just giving up but I cant do it cause I can’t live with out her but I don’t even know if she still likes me we took a break and we still haven’t talk since its been about 3 weeks. When I first met her I was thinking about killing my self but we become good friends and then we dated she saved my life she never knew I was feeling like that cause I was scared to tell her. I don’t know what to do and my old feelings are coming back about ending it all. ;(
I found my soulmate the love of my life we’re getting married next spring. But my anxiety depression psycosis and other things make me want to gravitate toward the drugs I promised I’d never take I’ve done half of all the ones I know of weed crank coke etc. I’m thinking about going back to cutting at least that’s what I think is best for me you know? My thoughts about my self have gone to the worst point they’ve been on in a while. My Ed has came back taken control of me I just wanna say fuck it but for my love I […]
the people on here, this website, are true sufferers- they are drowning in poverty, surrounded by nothing but their own crushing thoughts and self-accusations. they have reason to scream and sob and choke on depression.
i am 16, popular, a brilliant student, a violin prodigy (slight hyperbole), an extrovert, horror movie addict. my parents are established- “dad” has a Ph.D, mom is a retail genius. we are upper-middle class, gorgeous home. i’m an only child so they shower money on me; where else will they dump their earnings?
the question to ask, then, is: am i allowed to be so sad? why should i have the right […]
Him. He’s been my best friend for 3 years. Honestly I think he’s my soulmate. Like you don’t have to be dating them to think that. Having a close friend (like him) can also make them your soulmate.
I told him about all ways I’ve hurt my self and we’ve been closer ever since. He’s so understanding about it. He didn’t judge me at all. He wants to help me get better.
I know I’ve hurt him though… I mean who wants to hear that their favorite girl is feeling/doing these things..
I’ve never realized how much he cares about me and how important I am […]
well i think my best “friend” i think hes gonna tell everyone that im “gay but im not gay im bi so yea i will lose a lot of friends ???? i hope everything goes well i will only give 1 day tommorow monday to see how people will react
if they hate me oh well ill just kill my self and then ill haunt them maybe…. Middle school changed me i now where only kind of dark collors i hate it yeah help me
HELP ME
HELLPPP MEEEE
-brian mejia r.
Smiths anyone? Well if anyone can relate to this song this is for you and I. If a movie was made about me I visualize myself walking down the side of a road or through a park on a gloomy day and this song will be playing for at least the whole intro. But, this is life and we all know there aren’t really movies waiting for us. However I must say that with all the other thoughts that go on in this mind of mine I like to pretend I’m being filmed that way I know I’ve had enough vile things happen to me giving me the right […]
Living and killing myself are both just too hard and take too much effort. I am tired of exerting myself everyday, trying to appear like I’m normal and belong on this Earth. All I want to do is lie in bed, put blankets over my head, and somehow stop my incessant thoughts. If I did this though, I would once again be treated as if my personal rights did not exist. My space would be invaded once again. I wouldn’t be allowed to do anything again on my own. My overprotective parents wouldn’t let me sleep alone or do work in my room alone or […]
I don’t know what to do right now….
I keep telling my self that i’m not alone because i have friends to talk with but i still feel so alone….
I keep smiling at them tell them jokes show them that i’m happy but i’m really not….
I don’t even know if they really care about me….
I want to be notice but no one would notice me….
I feel like i’m giving up even if I don’t want to….
and sometimes i think “what if i disappear would someone care or search for me?”
and i keep thinking of these negative thoughts….
please help me i don’t […]
So today was (…)
This year.. This year I can’t say I wished for a lovely husband, or for a perfect GPA, or to be a good cook or to have a pleasant job or whatever.. This year I wished I’d die,, That’s what I wished for.. Success is nothing when you’re alone.. And I figured I might be alone for a long long time.. That’s why God made me the only girl.., and it wasn’t just me so that my parents will have no one but me and they’ll be obliged to spend more time with me and by that I wont be alone.. […]
Wow my cousin is such a *****
i thought my family new that i was “gay”
well im actually bi but i’ll never tell them that
well my cousin looked at my history
and he thinks im gay why dose he care what i watched. And why dose he care what i do in my life hes my cousin for god sake he should worrie about his mum and himself
ohh godd i wish i could kill my self
but i cant
i even wished a car could kill me ahhh
-brian