“Heaven knows I’M MISERABLE NOW” – The

Smiths anyone? Well if anyone can relate to this song this is for you and I. If a movie was made about me I visualize myself walking down the side of a road or through a park on a gloomy day and this song will be playing for at least the whole intro. But, this is life and we all know there aren’t really movies waiting for us. However I must say that with all the other thoughts that go on in this mind of mine I like to pretend I’m being filmed that way I know I’ve  had enough vile things happen to me giving me the right to act and think AS I DO. So I went to a party yesterday and may I say it was quite a party (it was awful). This guy I knew he was there with a girl who he later walked home and he’s always had the ability to make my inner ways tremble we could have had our chance yesterday you know … to makeout and be crazy together with intoxications to blame but I already knew it wasn’t romance he was craving and niether was I but … then I find out that my friend who I was there with has a romance with him and I am in no way that shity person although last night I wanted to be. SO .. with your scoop on my life now this brings me to something just like this smiths song did “I was happy in the haze of a drunken hour but heaven knows I’m miserable now.” Miserable because I wanted to sink my teeth into this guy and my friend called the shots before I could take advantage of mine. “In my life why do I give valuble time to people who don’t care if I live or die.” This friend mediocre enough to party with me trusted me enough to tell me about the guy she knew I fancied. She told me they had sex though which again for a psychotic un averaged woman like me I can’t top that. I value my virginty unlike most. I just wish she hadn’t told me that cause all of a sudden I found my self not happy and with bitchy feelings. So there we go bi polar disorder left happy came home to write and reply to my new acquaintance. One big wonderful regretful sigh.