New here. I have battled bi-polar and major depression for years. Spent almost 4 years more in the hospital than out of it. Been on enough meds to support a pharmacy, 18 ECT treatments, you name it. From when I was first diagnosed, at 21, until I was 33, I had one therapist who stuck with me, no matter what. And I threw some major drama at him back in the day. It has seemed that I have to rise from the ashes every day, and each time, there is less of me there. Now 45, My physical health has deteriorated; back surgery, thyroid problems, […]
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I have a huge heart and helped out the man I was/am in love with by helping him buy a car. Since we purchased it in February, excuse me, since I, he has given me very little for it. Something else came up so he talked me into getting a title loan on it for him. The car is all in my name and he wants me to tag it…which means everything will continue to be in my name. I want out from under it. It was suppose to be a few month deal and he’s doing nothing to change it. We currently are friends […]
Hey my name is Ricky n I am going through a lot of trouble with my spinal scoliosis n my anxiety issues. Plus at times I have had a lot of questionable things that I need help my spine is killing me it hurts from.my name all the way down to where my butt bone. I’m tired I can’t sleep well Its So annoying at times my shoulder bones n ribs feel like they’re getting twisted all over the place my back n everything else on.my body it’s so bothersome. N feel a lot of negativity in my life at the moment I have a […]
How can any historian be optimistic? All of the rapes, murders, and so on in the name of God must at least become tiring to observe over time. I remember watching a video from an antinatalist arguing that objective facts and subjective beliefs lead to pessimism, which may be debatable, but it describes how I view life so well.
History class kind of sucked today, but at the same time I saw some familiar faces. What pissed me off the most was seeing the teacher read off quotes from famous historical figures, but he omitted only one, and it was from Søren Kierkegaard. What the hell? […]
My hands are shaking, I don’t know why
I’ve been here before
Yet for some reason I can’t help but cry
New doors, but all of them so far away
The old ones are slowly closing
And they call out strongly my name
What will become of me?
I cannot be sure
But I know there is no cure for what I am
So simple yet so complex
I am unable to see through the fog
And I’m afraid I’m destined to choose wrong
One bad door is all it will take
One wrong move, one mistake and I know
I’ll end up where I have been before
I reach […]
hello, my name is fading star… obviously not my real name but lets just call me this for now. ever since i could remember all i have wanted to do is help people…. right so while my entire life I’ve helped people I’ve never really looked after myself, helped myself. I’m 16 years old and feel like my life is no where. I’m not the complaining type but i’m falling apart with everything bursting inside me unable to handle by myself.
when i was a child i lived in poverty now most people live in poverty right?? well when i was a child my family did […]
It’s a different kind of feeling.. Worse than the others.. Like a never ending tightness in your stomach. I don’t wanna kill myself I just wanna show everyone what there doing to me
All of us here with our suicidal ideations and intentions (this post is not addressed to the wannabe saviours, bless their sweet souls) – I lurk and read, and i write and comment rather little, but I am here every day nonetheless. And the impression I’m getting is that, despite the fact that we are all weak in one way or another, some people discuss suicide from a position of strength and some from absolute vulnerability. The strong ones display vulnerability, but the vulnerable ones do not display strength. I’m not going to name names; I’m not even going to tell you which of those I imagine […]
Hi. My name is mike. I’m only 22 and I have two sons. My life has been a train wreck. In had my second son with a woman who stole my heart. She is my everything. I messed up in the beginning of the relationship, talking to other girls online. She found out later after we got married. Yea we worked passed it but we had problems thru out the marriage. I was always drinking when I got emotional and down. I threatened to cut myself or not take my insulin. Things I should of never done. We would have problems an I would run […]
Quote: “How odd I can have all this inside me and to you it’s just words.” -David Foster Wallace
I constantly try to get to write something down and when I finally do, I delete it all. (How very unsatisfying.)
Just like my life is unsatisfying. (I really want to delete this too.)
I’m scared of posting stuff. (I want nobody I know to know who I am. At least not my name. They wouldn’t know me any more than that.)
Where is the delete button for my life? (I guess there are actually a lot)
(I think I should just delete this all.)
Oh look! Now that I’ve managed to make […]
I am not depressed. Or so I’m told anyway. Great stuff. Except that doesn’t relieve the crushing weariness which makes everyday life unbearable.
Aparently I cannot be depressed as my semi conscious, morose state isnt constant. No, I have days of energetic, paranoid agitation; bizarre periods of un-lucidity in which nothing seems as real as it should and believe it or not, some days of relative normality. Unfortunately however, accordong to some of the small army of doctors ive seen, the presence of these other states exempts me from any kind of medical inerest or help. They were not […]
The immortal bard really nailed it down here. You can cut and paste snippets of the soliloquy and answer almost every interrogatory on this website.
…that is the question—
Whether ’tis Nobler in the mind to suffer
The Slings and Arrows of outrageous Fortune,
Or to take Arms against a Sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them?
To die, to sleep—
No more; and by a sleep, to say we end
The Heart-ache, and the thousand Natural shocks
That Flesh is heir to?
‘Tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wished. To die, to sleep,
To sleep, perchance to Dream; Aye, there’s the rub,
For in that sleep […]
Hi there, my name is Sami Jo. I remember being 13, and it was the best year of my life. After that, I fell into a dark place and thought there was no way out. I decided at 15 that it just wasn’t going to get any better. Over the next 5 years, I tried to kill myself 5 different times and somehow someone or something stopped me every single time from succeeding. I’m 21 now and I still have days where I am angry for ever being born into this world. But, every now and then I’ll have days like today where I think […]
All your empty smiles
All your broken dreams
All your willful desires
Are floating down the stream
You say I can make it
You say that I’m strong
But all these scars only prove
That you are very wrong
Because I know what is true
I’m bound to die a lonely girl
Always feeling blue
I just keep on walking
One step then another
Hoping I am going
In the right direction
But all the signs say opposite
Where am I
I wonder
I’m stuck in the awful place
That is called my home
Where all my demons try to suck my soul
So please don’t try to tell me
That I’ll be alright
Because I know what is true
I’m bound to die a lonely girl
Always feeling blue
There […]
Welp lets see its all in the name ive started to do…… coke now not weed n pills or k2 anymore I moved up to coke and u no I think its cause I just stopped caring I was doing so good then my friends crashed into my family in the back nothing happened then my gpa got mad told me its always my fault for stuff like this and then my friends made me really happy then my gpa again fucks it up tells me im stupid and crazy well maybe I am I just ugh I give up drugs music thats what helps […]
Sitting in the dark. Looking up suicide on Google. It brought me to this site…
I read the pain of your words, and relate. My heart hurts with you, and hurts like you. I see your pain. I see the desperation. I see I’m not alone.
You feel it too… That bottle of pills singing it’s Siren song, that sharp blade flashing like a knight in shining armor, that seductive rope calling your name to lovingly squeeze you into darkness. They seduce me into a trance of thinking if only I could do it.
I am so desperate to not hurt any longer. I try. I really do. I look online for things like […]
Last week a man shot himself in the park in the exact same spot I was planning on doing it awhile ago, no one even knew his name. Wow that coulda been me a year ago
Hello!! I’m bored and little sad. My girlfriend is in Costa Rica on vacation and cannot text. 🙁 anyway anybody wanna chat?? I LOVE helping people so text me! Even if you’re bored too and you want to talk. Anything is fine!! I’m a 16 year old male, my name is Matt. 🙂 my number 19494846924
Is anyone out there in the same boat as me?
26 years old
I’m unemployed now for about 1.5 years
I can’t afford the repayments on my unit
I’m fat
I’m ugly
I’ve not a cent to my name
Oh, yes, and I don’t have a drivers licence
I’d just like to know if there is anyone going through the same thing. I guess it feels good to know you are not alone. I don’t know.