I want help, but I want to carry on with this alone. I want my parents to realize that I’m not OK, but I don’t want them to get into my issues. I want to be with my friends, but I feel like I’m in other dimension whenever I’m with them. I want to love myself, but I have never hated me so much. I want the voices in my head to shut up, but they’re the only actual company I have. I want to die, but I want to live.
It’s gradualy filling up.My heart is turning jet black,I just feel it.It always felt so empty but now the void is replaced with hatred and disgust.Hatred for my own kind.Hatred for myself most.I’m such a trash.A trash that live in this dump called earth.A dump filled with being I consider trash as well,all piled up together.
I just can’t feel contempt,I can’t be happy here.The only thing that kept me here so long are video games,pathetic as it may.I’m tired of wasting every days away on those stupid games so my poor little self don’t have to think about anything.I achieve nothing everyday.
I just hate humankind.
I […]
Funny how trivial everything becomes when you know you’re going to die. All these things that were once so important… job interviews, finances, hell even wars and famine and disease… are growing so distant, like a tv in the next room. Lately my own voice doesn’t even sound like me anymore. It sounds like the voice of some actor reading my lines. The other day I was talking and suddenly stopped because I sounded so weird, like REALLY WEIRD. Â I asked the other person if there was something wrong with my voice, and she said I sounded fine, politely adding, “maybe the acoustics are weird […]
wendy clear by blink182, dance around to it, its good. try and make yourself feel a little better today. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jbHpZVCie8s
…is like oral sex: Â if I don’t get it, I don’t have to give it.
You’ve got happy people who don’t want you ‘dumping’ on them–completely self-absorbed assholes who maintain their own happiness by living 100% for themselves and if you don’t feed that happiness or serve a purpose for them, then you’re a boil.
Then you’ve got people who hurt so bad, they can’t see past their own problems. Â They have such an urgent need to talk, they shut out other people who also need to talk, so they go around desperately looking for someone to ‘dump’ on, while not helping anyone else themselves. Â It takes […]
Goodbye cruel world,
I’m leaving you today.
Goodbye,
Goodbye,
Goodbye.
Goodbye, all you people,
There’s nothing you can say
To make me change my mind.
Goodbye.
pero no se encuentra… Porque, porque pregunto tantas cosas Porque en el jardÃn que plante, ya no existen las rosas, Porque los recuerdos malos cuestan tanto de olvidar, Son cosas de la vida que nadie puede explicar, Y es que porque me vieron tantos, y nunca merecà nada, Porque la autoestima se esfuma cuando es necesaria, Me pregunto tantas cosas, sigo buscando respuestas, Estoy arto de hablar solo, Porque nadie me contesta, Quizá soy un estorbo, quizá no sea nadie para nadie, A quien le importo yo, le pregunto a este folio, Soy un paranoico, se que muchos me entendéis, También se que a la mÃnima la esperanza perdéis Porque buscas venganza por todo y le echas la culpa […]
How do you guys cope with feeling bad? Cry? Cut? Distract yourself? Get Angry?
Have any of you ever tried fainting?
Whenever I feel bad, I usually cry, but every once in a while, I’ll faint to feel better.
It feels good.
Really good.
For 3 seconds I forget about the world
For 3 seconds I forget about everything
It feels like
A 3 second suicide
What feels better is, when I wake up, for a few seconds, I get really light-headed
Almost as if I’m high
It feels like floating
You guys should try it
It might put some of you out of misery for a while
Just don’t over-do it, I’m pretty sure it’s not that safe
Anyways, […]
i have been doing good in the last three weeks.Now i really dont know what to do.My voices have suddenly come back with a vengance.They were really quiet and i was fine.Hearing them a little is normal.But lately there pretty loud and constant.I wont call anyone theyll just bring the cops.I dont hate cops unless i have too deal with them so i try to stay away.My insanity is increasing day by day. I will possibly end up in the hospital for an attempt.I dont know what else to do two of my therapist are sick one i dont see my main therapist till monday.And […]
Nobody in my town or my age seem to understand the idea that their actions effect other people as well. It has been a year and a half since I attempted suicide, yet nothing has gotten better. My final year in high school was complete hell. I was tormented by a group of girls who used to be my best friends. Day after day they told me how no one likes me or wants me around. They repeatedly shouted names down the hallway at me or spread rumors about me being pregnant. This summer they have peanut-buttered/egged/balognied my car twice. Then, try countless times to […]
So, I’m sitting here waiting (it seems I do an awful lot of waiting these days) for a ride so that I can hopefully get to my so -called “parenting class”. Have you ever been to one of these classes? They’re a total waste of time, and just another way for the state to keep your kids longer. I mean, really, who the hell needs someone to tell them how to take out the trash every day or remind them that babies can’t be brats? Are we really not evolved enough yet to understand that children are generally unable to be mean until the age […]
My anxiety won’t go away… the pain on my chest, the breathless feeling, so out of my mind. My friends keep writing msg on FB, I cannot open them, they txt me and I can’t txt them back. Nothing to say, I love them, I miss them, and I know they love me back… But I don’t know how to tell them that I won’t be allowed back in Canada for a long long time, I don’t know how to tell them that I spend all my day at home reading posts on THE SUICIDE PROJECT website, I don’t know how to tell them that […]
We are children of constant sorrow living in a fallen world, for we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the
rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high place.
“As I walk this land of broken dreams
I have visions of many things
But happiness is just an illusion
filled with sadness and confusion
What becomes of a brokenhearted
who had love that’s now departed
I know I’ve got to find
some kind of piece of mine, baa-aaaaby
The roots of love grow all around
But for me they come tumble all down
Every day,heartaches grow a little […]
Afraid to die
Yes
But this life isn’t for me
No body really cares
My family wants the best for me
But the same time they just over protect me from everything
Always wanting me to be their baby
But always wanting me to have my own life
How am I supposed to have my own life when they keep me away
The more we fight
The more I lost track of time
I messed up so much
The more I mess up
The more bitter I turned
The more arguements and fights
The more I day dream about the what if’s
I lose
Now there’s no where to go
Trapped on this lonely broken path
More afraid than ever
People say I am lucky
But […]
I was talking on here last night to exhausted, and mentioned that one of my neighbors had killed himself. I was the last person to see him alive. We all called him Bailey.
Bailey was a Vietnam vet, a “catch-up hippie” who never got to be part of the hippie movement but who embraced the ideals behind it with a passion once he got back from the war. I don’t know that much about his youth, but I do know who he became, and what he meant to all of us. Its kind of ironic, but Bailey was the hero of our little circle of friends, […]
Now I understand how you feel
You felt like you were dying
You felt like there wasn’t any hope left
When you see couples
All you wanted to do was cry
End your life
You felt left out
When you were with your friends
All you showed was your mask
But inside
You were being killed
Slowely
Painfully
Desiring your special person
Your love
… Your one and only
Maybe you’re future
hi everyone.. im michael and i sometimes think about ending it.. alot.. i feel alone in this country.. and im scared to be myself.. i dont have any motivation to live for.. and i dont have a gf.. and im scared of girls and everyone.. and everyone looks at me funny and i worry what others think.. i overthink things and get depressed.. so i want to end it.. but im scared to do that i want to get away from my mom and i have no goals in life.. i cant post stuff on facebook. because they banned me.. so i want to end […]
But, sometimes her memory can get to me. Like her artwork hanging up in one of our similar classes, or seeing her eat quietly to herself during lunch hour. Brings up the painful memories of our happy times together. And this makes me lonesome sometimes. I am happy don’t get me wrong, but I just feel that hole that she created in me when I think about it. My story often reminds me of the song “Yesterday” by my most favorite band The Beatles. And sometimes when I listen to it, the memories of it all come flooding back to me.
I’ve shared my story before […]
uh. I am so alone. I have NO ONE. i have not left this house with any friends since probably May. I pushed everyone away. Why? everyone betrayed me. My friends all talk meaningless about me. My boyfriend dumped me a little before we turned a year together, right after i lost my virginity to him. I am a total dumbass. God, and this is just friends. Family? yeah. nah uh. My parents are on the point of divorcing. Always chaos in my house with either me and mom, me and dad, dad and mom, sister and sister, and me or sister.
Ive been through so […]
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