I have finally given up my will to live. I know that there’s no point, when all I have to look forward to is more of the same. Even if I were to manage to get through this period in my life, it would just be another rotation of the wheel that is my mental health. I might be able to get help and become “happy” again, but my depression will just come back around again and again. So I’ve given up the will to fight any longer. That part of me is gone. My will is dead. Like it was a real person. Will […]
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nobody
Hi, I’ve been fighting against depression for 15 years and I think I’ve finally given up on that battle. I can’t take it anymore. I just create havoc around me, and I drag people’s lives into misery with me.
I’m the only child of a deeply disturbed and disturbing woman. To everyone who doesn’t know her she seems to be a loving, caring person, quirky at most, but to those who are near her, she comes out as she is: plain scary. She’s violent, contradictory, manipulative. Ever since I was a young child I stood no chance to grow up to be normal, to be social, […]
People always like to think they know how I feel, or how people like me feel, when they’re all just so far from the truth. All these feelings of worthlessness self hate, and loneliness have taken they’re toll, and reduced me to a shadow of whatever it is I was – I don’t even remember what happiness felt like, it’s just numbness where it should be.
Why do parents have to be so stuck in their ways? I promised myself I’d never make the same mistakes if I ever have kids. Never ever lay a hand on them, let alone a fist. If there’s one thing […]
I found this site by simply typing “I can’t do this anymore”, into Google. I do that often because I’m experienced enough in my roller coaster of depression to know that nobody wants to hear it, it makes them uncomfortable.
I’m a 23 year old female. I can’t remember a time in my life where I didn’t experience extreme sadness. It peaked when I was 14, lasted until around 17. A therapist once told me she thought I might be bipolar. But I was never truthful with her. I wasn’t truthful at the crisis centers I was in and out of either. I diagnoised myself with […]
i cant help but feel that no matter what i do what pills i take who i talk to it, its never gonna be good enough. suicidal thoughts will not go away, the only thing that makes them dissapear for a minute is self harm, i hope other people understand but nobody i know gets it.
Sometimes I think I was born suicidal. No idea whether or not that’s actually possible, but I was certainly born … damaged. I’m choosing my words carefully, I don’t know how much I want to say yet.
But yes. Born damaged and then damaged a whole lot more in various ways.
I made one serious attempt many years ago and one that turned out farcical a few years ago and now … now I am sure of many more things and so I have some leeway, when the damage allows it.
Perhaps I will have time to write the longest suicide note in the world and then, I […]
I don’t want to do this, nobody understands that. I just want it all to end, all the pain, all the hurt, all the angry. Nothing seems to be getting better.. All my friends and family make me look like a terrible person because how unhappy i am and how much i want to die.. That’s the reason i haven’t done it, i just cant take this anymore and i don’t know whats wrong with me and why i am sad? I hate talking about my feelings because no one knows what to say to me and they all get so mad because i wont […]
theres just no point in living.. i dont wake up in the morning and thin “hmm what a great day!” I hate my life i really do. and nobody seems to see it. i just want to go somewhere and cry forever because thats the only thing I seem to be doing now. crying. i just want to get in a car and flip ten times.. i wish that would happen.
Now, I know what you’re thinking. “Wait, Lucy, you’re not actually going to try to end it again, are you?!” Well, the answer, my dear friends… is no. I’m not going to try to kill myself again. Not for a little while, anyway. I mean, I doubt I’m going to live to see 2015, but that’s still a ways off, so I’m still here.
Basically, I just wanted to make this post just to tell everyone one last time how I’m doing. I know it’s been a while since I made an update, so a lot’s happened, but… here goes.
Shortly after I made my post “My […]
Become strong, I would of. You can.
You will go, grow. Where are you, Scully.
I can’t trust anyone, but you. Don’t leave me this way.
Fox and Dana. The chevaliers to pierce the veil.
I remember now; 1999, the “X-Files” series abruptly became terminated.
The truth didn’t want to be outreached.
The “Illuminati,” the “Secret-Skull.”
The ‘Reptilian’, your worst nightmare.
The monopoly. The elite-narcissist-supremacist.
The most fucked-up; me, you, it. Resuscitate from the grave.
A scratching dragon wishing to fall down beautiful to it’s death.
The truth is too pierced. Kill me today.
Obstruction. The power of “Trinity,” for me, in order to exist.
Or […]
I’m new here so I hope I don’t stuff this. I’ve been feeling really down now for about 8 years. I’ve made many soft attempts at suicide, I guess in an attempt to get help. I am becoming more and more depressed to a point where I can’t function in almost any way. I used to have such pride and such a desire to keep trying even if I felt all the demons circling me every day. Now I couldn’t care less about anything and I miss caring even if it was in a small way. I have nothing going on in my life. I’ve […]
It was midnight nobody was at home…. i picked the keys of my car … i locked my room and i moved to the car…the time was 2:30am …i started the moved on…then i went to a nearest mountainn…… i stopped the car and realizing all who dont care abt me … who betrayed me…And then i started the car again and i was incresing the car race and then i took my foot off from break and the car move soo speedly …And then i ijumped into the mountain with my car … I closed my eyes and praying to my lord […]
I don’t know why I continue living this pointless existence. I’m an idiot, nobody gives a shit about me if anything they hate me, and things will never change. I went through all of my previous facebook posts and conversations and I feel like everything I’ve said is just so fucking stupid and judging my the number of likes (1-4 max) everyone else feels the same way. This is the 3rd or 4th time I’ve been seriously suicidal and now I don’t see the point of taking medication to hide my idiocy from myself, I’m never going to have a worthwhile life. It’s only fear […]
I’ve always felt there’s something seriously wrong with me and the gap between me and others has increased and become more obvious over the years. I can’t communicate and I end up being hated by every single person who ever gets to know me, and then they label my insecurity and fear as ‘social anxiety disorder’ as if it’s an unnatural response. When I appear online on facebook people go offline and someone’s just said “god I give up” just because I, liked her post. How can I not commit suicide when I am so brain damaged that I can’t even communicate to kids or […]
I feel like I don’t want to keep on trying anymore, it’s hard to explain but I feel like I have finally achieved everything I’ve ever wanted and still I don’t get any joy from it. I still have some things that I have to “fight for” but I already know that when I finally get them I wont feel anybetter than now.
It feels like even when I got what I wanted (to have friends, and family and succeed in what I do) nothing is real, I feel like it’s all in my mind, I don’t think anybody actually loves me or cares about me. […]
It’s been a terrible week… I’ve barely eaten I cringe at the thought that I must live in this world. I recently quit football and now nobody speaks to me. I’m just so ready to leave this place… The long nights that leave me mentally insane are destroying me. I just need the perfect way to do it… I’ve tried taking a ton of pills and then getting drunk but no success.
im used to being alone and not having anyone to talk to….but im feeling really fucked up right now….nobody fucking cares and i dont think anyone ever will….maybe i should take his advice…”just keep on cutting. you worthless piece of shit.”
like, really? i’m being totally serious. i keep hearing stories about people taking pills and ending up in the hospital and all of that – but… what if the person isn’t found? i mean.. if somebody was to take an entire bottle, of say tylenol for example, in a secluded area with nobody to rescue them. would they not eventually die after being passed out for a while? assuming they passed out before vomiting? or something? i just really really don’t want to fuck this up 🙁
okay. so since nobody puts a profile picture for themselves on this site we get a picture of…? like what the fuck are these supposed to be? a robot? a couch? i dont fucking get it…it bothers me
I have sooooo much on my mind with nobody to talk / turn to so everything is just built up & continues to build each day i cant do anything without my mind racing all i want to do is run but i cant because its my body so its like im trapped so i just cry over & over & over again im so stressed & overwhelmed.