Tag:

normal

Psychotic Tossing and Turning

by TwistedSpace 9/10/2014

written by TwistedSpace

I can’t sleep. My Grandmother makes it sound so simple. “How can’t you sleep? Turn everything off and lay down!” Gee, thanks Gran, haven’t tried that one before! She means well, though. So I listen to her long enough for her to feel comfortable enough to leave me alone before I resume doing whatever it was I was up to before she entered my room.

I’m a schizophrenic. People avoid me when they find out about it, they think I’m so crazy. They’re usually the people I’d avoid anyway – the people who barely know you but pretend they do based on the rumors they hear […]

9/10/2014 7 comments

Reaching out

by lost 9/5/2014

written by lost

I’m in such a dark place right now. I hope maybe someone will be able to relate, and tell me I’m not alone. I’ve lost a friendship that was very valuable to me. Heartbreak, despair, despondence… this is my world right now.

Background: depression and suicidal thoughts (and attempts) since childhood; lengthy episodes of near-total isolation as an adult. A suicide attempt in my teens earned me a diagnosis of Major Depressive Disorder, and I’ve spent nearly 2 decades complying with treatment – medication, intermittent periods of therapy, consistent check-ups.

A couple decades in, and nothing is working. The isolation, depression, loneliness… they’re getting worse all the […]

9/5/2014 17 comments

Uncertain

by dusty990 9/2/2014

written by dusty990

I don’t know what I am supposed to do. That’s what I’ve boiled down all my twisted, suppressing, diminishing thoughts into. I’m not content with what I have, or what I’m working towards in regards to my life and career. I’ll be able to live happily, comfortably, and better than some. Not that I’m saying I’ll be rich but I wont be living on the streets either. Somehow that’s not enough for me, I know it’s not just jealously or envy pushing me down since I’ve been in this state before, or should I say most of the time.

I go through what I call ‘my […]

9/2/2014 0 comment

my feelings are dead

by Ron7x 8/29/2014

written by Ron7x

iam not sure if it was the 5 years of heavy drinking or what..but i no longer feel joy..or happiness..i either feel normal or depressed….this is torture…i dont really want to die..i just want my emotions back..ive been put on anti depressants but my mood is the same….

8/29/2014 0 comment

So bad..

by JustBreathing 8/29/2014

written by JustBreathing

I can’t do this.. Whenever i find reason to be a little bit happy, someone destroy it.. They say something or do something that makes me feel not good enough.. I am not super model and i have normal body but my mother always tells me that I am fat and that i need to think what I eat.. But she is the one who buys me sweets and bad food but when i say that to her she just ignore me..Some guy at school tell me I am fat every day but i think I can ignore him because I don’t like him..And then […]

8/29/2014 7 comments

Questions

by Slowly_Fading 8/22/2014

written by Slowly_Fading

Why is it that I can’t go a day without thinking about killing myself?

Why do the girls at school hate me so much?

Why can’t I remember what happened to me?

Why is it that I hate myself so damn much?

Why do I cut myself almost every day?

Why can’t I stop?

Why is it my parents hate who I’ve become?

Why do the churches say that being bisexual is wrong?

Why can’t I be normal?

Why is it that I can’t be with who I love because she’s a girl?

Why do the boys bully me?

Why can’t I be accepted for who I am?

Why oh why does this world have to be […]

8/22/2014 5 comments

Xxx

by buju 8/17/2014

written by buju

I have a stable pain inside, not going away, causing me to thinking about commiting suicide. I cannot enjoy anything, if you can send me to my happiest moment or give an option to just vanish, I would definately choose the second one. Most of the time I wish I was normal. While registering to this site I couldn’t help but think about the future; somehow if I end up committing suicide, this account will eventually be discovered by my friends/relatives, they probably will think this was a cry for help. It is nice to know that you are not the only wierd person who […]

8/17/2014 1 comment

Inadequate

by Remnant The Unbroken 8/16/2014

written by Remnant The Unbroken

Not for anything but I’m so sick of feeling lonely and insecure and useless and inadequate. For once in my life I’d love to have a friend or a significant other stick with me and tell me that it’s going to be ok, that I have a life worth living. Sometimes I just have to be reminded, because the self pep talks are useless.

It’s probably extremely pathetic on my behalf, but I’ve recently started talking with my ex again. It’s stupid but I miss him. He’s married to an absolute ***** who’s driving everyone away from him, and I’ve warned him numerous times to get out […]

8/16/2014 2 comments

The eve before the big event.

by All But Over Now 8/15/2014

written by All But Over Now

Today felt different. Not really a good or bad different. I went to work today as I had been out the last few days due to the fact I was not mentally able to go. Today was just a strange day. I did my normal routines, handled my normal business. I spoke very little. A couple co-workers told me I was a “bit off” today. They asked if everything was alright. I assured them everything was fine – from my perspective anyways.

The ride home from work was different too. The sun was well past its zenith, the shadows were long, a light breeze in the […]

8/15/2014 15 comments

Daily fight

by maia 8/14/2014

written by maia

It has been three month now. And The hardest thing wasnt trying to suicide myself, but The month that came after i survived it. It has been a daily fight Of will, wanting to do things, even waking up. At The beggining i didnt understand all The situation and what it meant to be still alive, but nos The only thing i have to say is that im exhausted. Bits a never ending fight and effort to be and behave like normal when you know it is not. Trying to fight this and sin this dar is more difficult han living and never trying to […]

8/14/2014 0 comment

Im paranoid

by DeadGirlNotFound 8/14/2014

written by DeadGirlNotFound

Anyone else ? I have been diagnosed with paranoia, Im a pretty crazy girl. I think extreme things and with mental illness it becomes hard to live, because people dont know why are you acting that way..they dont get it, I cried yesterday because i thought my friend was going to leave me, but there was nothing like that, im worried all the time, im taking medications to calm myself down, its hard to live like this, how do i act normal like everyone ? little things push me to suicide, i like the idea of death, i like how they put the dead bodies […]

8/14/2014 3 comments

in the end

by just this girl 8/13/2014

written by just this girl

I have had it with everything.
for all im concerned I have had a pretty good upbringing.
although my mother liked to drink a lot and party and take drugs, she looked after me and my siblings well, that’s what I thought.
everyone els wanted to take me and my brothers and sisters away from her. they got there wish.
and she just started picking herself up and I was going to live with her again.. the only person I trusted, loved, felt safe around… she died a year ago..
since then I have been picked on and bullied.. I have tried suicide a fue […]

8/13/2014 0 comment

Drugs

by Sammie Motionless 8/7/2014

written by Sammie Motionless

Welp lets see its all in the name ive started to do…… coke now not weed n pills or k2 anymore I moved up to coke and u no I think its cause I just stopped caring I was doing so good then my friends crashed into my family in the back nothing happened then my gpa got mad told me its always my fault for stuff like this and then my friends made me really happy then my gpa again fucks it up tells me im stupid and crazy well maybe I am I just ugh I give up drugs music thats what helps […]

8/7/2014 8 comments

bon voyage

by passionfruit3 8/4/2014

written by passionfruit3

So im a little afraid of dying which ive told myself is normal so im okay with that.What i cant figure out is why unlike other times i dont feel sad but i do feel suicidal.It bugs me cause i dont feel much of anything when it comes to emotions other than that fear of not knowing whats after this.Im still going through with it but it would be easier if i was feeling some depression along with it or some anger.Maybe i am empty inside i just dont know.My sisters leaving and i may hurt others if i dont stop my life.Im doing it […]

8/4/2014 0 comment

Anyone willing to help?

by Infectious208 8/2/2014

written by Infectious208

More and more as the days go by, I am realizing that the only way i can feel normal or ok again is to not feel at all. I am getting worse and worse and all this pain consumes me more every day. Heres what i need and even though i know none of you, i have no one else i can turn to and trust so hopefully one of you can help me. I need someone whom, when i finally let go, will contact the few people in my life that matter and give them a message for me. yes, i know i could […]

8/2/2014 2 comments

Would love to just disappear

by engfi 8/2/2014

written by engfi

Would love to just run away from everything, start new then return better and feeling normal

8/2/2014 3 comments

Who believes in God?

by Infectious208 8/1/2014

written by Infectious208

I feel like I’m being tested. A situation that anyone else would feel as normal. That in any other case in my life would be normal now feels like its a test from God. I don’t know if I even believe in God. I don’t know if Karma or any of that exist yet im so lost in with everything right now that I cant get the thought out of my head. I have a road in front of me that if it is a test, I will fail and lose any and all hope of reconciliation, yet I don’t even know if that reconciliation […]

8/1/2014 82 comments

Hi.

by hmnwth 7/31/2014

written by hmnwth

I’m May, and turning 15 this year. Just your typical teenager with normal problems like depression. Haihh. I don’t know where to start. I think I’m being selfish by having problems cause I have shelter, food, clothes, and everything. Well, that’s what my “friend” says. That I should be grateful. I have been thinking about suicide. But I don’t have the guts to do so. I love my grandma to bits and would do anything for her. I’m kind of a loner since I don’t have a friend I could trust. I have acquaintances at school, people I talk to and pretend to […]

7/31/2014 10 comments

I have this laundry list

by amandaeatspandas 7/27/2014

written by amandaeatspandas

I shouldn’t be jealous

i shouldn’t be annoying

i shouldn’t ask questions

i shouldn’t be concerned about anything

I shouldn’t care

i should go back to how I used to be

i need to be normal

i need to be happy

i need to improve on my communication skills

but why can’t I just be me?

7/27/2014 13 comments

Do you wanna build a snowman

by marcusallan 7/26/2014

written by marcusallan

I feel sad all the time. I cant even watch a kids movie without thinking the fake cartoon I see on the screen is the saddest thing out. I just wanna be normal again and this pain to go away, im sick of feeling this way

7/26/2014 0 comment

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