Have you ever thought of yourself as pathetic. I have too many times. Here I am, good life, good parents and siblings, good house, good school, and yet, I lack soooo much willpower. Will. I just have no will. Why do people with such screwed up lifestyles and in such screwed up situations be so awesome with great personality, character, and drive and I’m just here… No drive. I’m just so pathetic. I wouldn’t commit suicide due to feeling guilty towards my parents, the people who have looked after me, and all the people trying so hard but in such screwed up situations, but seriously… […]
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normal
I want to be high all the time I love pills I need them to feel normal or happy. I just want to fade away. im so tired of the pain and the acting like im okay because if I tell the truth they’ll send me away again I don’t want to go away unless its permanent.
Hello all,
This is my first post on here, and I’m hoping to get some feedback about my situation and if I should be taking some sort of action towards it. A little background to the life that led me to this site. I have cystic fibrosis, a degenerative disease that currently holds the life expectancy at 37. I am also pre-diabetic and if this carries it’s course then my life expectancy will drop to a whopping 24. I am currently 19 and these two numbers have haunted the majority of my thoughts for quite some time now. I have not had an easy run at […]
just sitting here in my room as i hear my stepp father scream and threaten my little sister. normal days are usually my older and younger sister yelling at each other while my parents argue too. my walls arent thick enough to muffle there voices. i sit here and think most of the day not really living if you ask me. im a big fuck up wasnt even supposed to be born. sorry for the shitty spellling.
All I ever want is to go back to feeling normal. But I haven’t felt normal since I was 5. My dad killed himself when I was 6, and my mum remarried. When I was 8, my stepdad began to sexually abuse me, all the way through to the age of 17. I self harmed and was seriously depressed throughout this whole ordeal. The abuse happened almost every day, in every room of the house. I’m 19 now and he is in prison, but I can’t get away from the mental, physical and emotional scars and trauma that I’m left with. I want to feel […]
Is it normal to still feel sluggish 2 days after a 2 day drinking/pot smoking binge?
by wndozh8er
written by wndozh8er
is been nearly 2 days and I still feel sluggish, like I wanna sleep all day. Ugh still guess I’m detoxing but my health anxiety is coming back. I’m so afraid I did perminate damage.
It all started when I was in elementary my mom couldn’t afford an apartment or a house. so we had to live out of her boyfriends van. After living in the car for like a couple of months we moved to a homeless shelter. It was hard going to school because I couldn’t be like the other kids. For me after school was just going back to the shelter and that was it. I didn’t really get to play much and if I did play I would play with my older brother. I have 2 older brother but my oldest brother got kidnapped by his […]
Isn’t it funny how you can have people all around you but feel so lonely? I feel guilty because I have a good life- a good job, a husband, a nice house, a family that cares about me. I just can’t seem to find any happiness in it. We have a gun in our home and I find myself fantasizing about how easy it would be to end it all. Then I chicken out because I’m useless.
Why can’t I just be normal? I am faking being put together every day and it’s so exhausting I just can’t do it anymore. I just want to fall […]
I’m amazed at how people always refer to chronic physical pain as a legitimate reason for suicide but mental illness is considered an illegitimate reason to commit suicide. Do people have NO FUCKING IDEA of how hellish mental illness can be? No apparently they don’t. Such is the stigma. Mentally ill people are considered scary and burdensome and they are required to suffer for the sake of suffering. Why? Because it’s invisible I guess. “Normal” mentally healthy people must think that we’re faking it or maybe that everyone experiences the same amount of mental torment but that mentally ill people are just drama queens or […]
it’s my first time that i write personal things about me in a site or a blog. of course the identity is unknown so it’s okay. there’s so many things i want to talk about ..that i feel deep down.. i wish my heart could speak for me.. cause sometimes words doesn’t describe the true feelings of a person.. but at less it gives you the opportunity to express yourself a little bit.. long time ago words used to make feel better.. expressing myself i mean but unfortunately not anymore ..maybe a little bit like i said.. but i feel like this pain is growing.. […]
PROS – 1. No more mental illness, 2. No more constant worrying, 3. No painful natural death in the future, 5. No more addictions, 6, no more rejection because I can’t function as a normal adult, 7. No more of this world weighing me down with consequences and obligations, 8, I’ll have a choice!, 9. I’ll never suffer again, 10. I will have no wants, impossible or unhealthy ones.
CONS –
You never let me do anything. You “said” you always wanted me to “grow as a person” but whenever I didn’t do exactly what you wanted, you hit me. You starved me for days without food, and called me names nobody should ever be called. You measured love by success and trophies, and made sure to cover up all my bruises before a competition. You stole my glory from me. My victories were never MY victories, whenever you talked to admiring parents, they became YOUR victories that I had gained because of you. While enduring this, the flute became my only friend. Well you know […]
I just don’t know what I have and I wished I never had visited that doctor. She said that I had “too much anxiety for normal situations”. I had social anxiety and she couldn’t even say that name to my face. Then at home I searched about it because I didn’t trust her and I found out that possibly I had depression too, and now I can have BPD too. And at this point and just don’t know if what I feel is truly real or maybe I get all the diseases I read about. I don’t know what is real and what is not. […]
This is 2nd my post. I am not suicidal right now. But it still feels worse.
Yesterday I took the knife pressed it’s sharp end on my wrist. It didn’t cut. But it was the closest I came to hurting myself. Today I want to hurt myself but I don’t have the courage. I hope when I cut myself, the little cut will open and all the frustration and negative things go outside. There’s too much dark content inside me, that needs to get out.
Is it good that I think that cutting is better than suicide. Can cutting can relieve me off this desperation or whatever […]
It seems like everyone has a good reason to commit suicide. Cyberbullying, bullying, leaked photos, bad home life, no friends, and the list goes on and on. I have none of those. I’m just a normal teenager, with a nack for getting into trouble, a soft spot for people in need, and a family that I could never just abandon. Yet I desperately want to. But I cant. Do you know how much a little oblong shaped solution to my problem costs? Way more than a 15 year old who babysits can afford.
Anyway, I’m getting off topic. My reason is simple. I wasn’t made for […]
“Did you really wanna die? No one commits suicide because they want to die. Then why did they do it? Because they wanna stop the pain.” – Tiffanie DeBartolo
by Dusty96
written by Dusty96
Found this quote and thought of it to be very true. I’m done. I’m sorry mom, dad, and brother but I need to do this. When I get the chance I’m hanging myself. I have no motivation to get a job, start a career, or just live in general. Nothing appeals to me in life. I’m a broken soul with no home here. I have parents that love me and I have a roof over my head and I should be grateful for that which I really really am but I don’t want it. I just don’t want to be here anymore. The depression hasn’t […]
I wish I were dead. I wish that, every single hour of every single day. I can’t actually do it myself. I can’t bring myself to be the one to do that to my parents. They wouldn’t understand, they would think it was their fault. In truth, I am privileged to have the parents that I do. It never feels like enough. I’m 28 years old, I’m single. And not just normal single, like, still a virgin, never even been kissed or asked out on one single, solitary date. Pathetic. Its driving me crazy. When I was younger my mom used to joke to her friends […]
It feels so empty without him around. My friend, that I met and fell for from day 1, my feelings have just been growing stronger even though I know I don’t have a chance in hell. If I were just half way normal looking and almost a normal size, I might have a chance at the love of my life. Yeah I’m afraid it’s to that point. He has stolen my heart and soul. There are times I get a little aggravated and plenty of times I get hurt in how he can want every girl on the planet but I still don’t have the […]
In our maximum Iron-Age
And in the name of astrology.
Inside of me veiling torment
I guess I’m not normal, ’cause you’ll never know.
I rather you not see, and then to have you, self-destruct
So, I’ll go on and slime away, now.
I’m not happy about reality, for me, it’s the animals
Oh, Gaia.
Where are you my representative
Done down to this, one.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5cYzDjSvQQQ
i cant understand people and i will never do . i cant hurt anyone but myself even though everyone tries to hurt me. i just dont wanna exist anymore. people telling lies all around me . others dont believe in me. im a that normal or they are just too blinded. i have gone insane, im telling them that, nobody gives a shit. I cant even write this post without thinking about diffrent topics in the same time. i just feel that nothing else, no one else matters. still looking for that one reason for me to stay alive , and still havent found it. my […]