just sitting here in my room as i hear my stepp father scream and threaten my little sister. normal days are usually my older and younger sister yelling at each other while my parents argue too. my walls arent thick enough to muffle there voices. i sit here and think most of the day not really living if you ask me. im a big fuck up wasnt even supposed to be born. sorry for the shitty spellling.
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I’m very sorry about this Delisnak, and I completely understand the pain you’re in. You’re not a “big fuck up,” try not to let yourself believe that.
When family is fighting it causes a lot of stress in the household. Sometimes it builds a stronger family, sometimes it destroys a family. If you are able it might help to confront your parents about the arguing, and let them know how stressful it is. No one should have to feel unhappy in their own home.
I can relate, my older brother and some of the other adults in my family would tell me I’m “fucked up”. I’d ask why and they said “just because.” I’ve been verbally abused for as long as I can remember…
My father didn’t want to have me either. My mother had to threaten him into financial ruin if he didn’t get her pregnant. However, recently, with all the pain I’ve been in my mother apologized for having me. O_o Kind of late for that, isn’t it mother? I don’t even know why she bothered to say that to me. She still says she loves me and I’m her reason for living, but I couldn’t care less. She doesn’t love me normally. She leaves me alone, doesn’t comfort me, gets angry at me over stupid stuff, treats me like I’m 5 (I’m 27), freaks out on me, gets pissed when I don’t agree 100% with her about everything… I’m not the “girl” my mother wanted. I know she resents me for it. She wanted a girly-girl princess and I’m a transgender freak. I wish I could go back in time and stop my parents having me…
I feel the same way you do my parents agrue too I get so tired of the screaming I just put my headphones on and listen to music and my parents always ask why do you always wear those headphones but I never tell them the real reason why you should try to avoid all the screaming just listen to music it helps