I miss my hoodie and razor. maybe I don’t even have to cut. I just wanna hold you again, run my finger lightly over your sharp edge, feel my soft warm hoodie hiding the blood and scars under it. I’ve never missed anything so much. I’m sorry I left both of you in Virginia, so sorry. I’d give anything to be there with you….
Tag:
Old Friends
So many things have changed in the past year I don’t know what the hell happened. Yes, I have made some friends now that I probably would have had before now. But.. My old friends.. I kinda miss them. I miss being able to talk to them about anything. They were honestly amazing people. Well, until they all turned into back stabbers. But,before they were that though, I could call them in the middle of the night if I needed anything. I don’t have that now. I have “friends.†I even call a few my “best friends,†I don’t have the strength nor the trust […]
Well great. School is finally over and I have to say goodbye to two of my best friends. On the bright side, school is finally over, meaning I won’t have to think about how much I suck at math, science, etc etc etc. This summer will either be when I do something with my life or get even more depressed. Also, my birthday is on the 14th, and I might get to see one of my old friends again. Sadly, I know sometime or another I’m going to fuck everything up all over again, like on my eighth birthday which I might go into detail […]
my best friend gave up on me. she was the only person who believed in me and now she dropped me. i have no job, no friends, my family hates me, i have horrible depression, horrible anxeity, LOW self estem, and i feel like a mistake. i dropped out of high school. what a loser. everyone thinks im easy because im old friends started rumors about me. noone likes me. im better off rotting in hell then living here, even though it seems like hell. i find myself crying myself to sleep everynight, because the girl i love loves some other boy. and she thinks […]
My bad attitude caused by frustration and self hatred has pushed those who used to care about me far far away. I know we’re all alone no matter what, but it kills me not to have at least that illusion making us feel as though we are not alone. I started cutting a few days ago and each day the  cut gets a  little deeper. I was just looking for a distraction from my emotional pain. I haven’t felt happiness all year. I’m beginning to question if there even is a possibility for me to feel happiness again. I used to rely on strangers to […]
My story isn’t this huge story that will make everyone teary-eyed ,a and have people wanting to feel sorry for me everywhere . No , im just a 14 year old girl w/ a fucked up life . But my story is real , and it means something to me that someone just read it and actually hear what i’ve been through . I need more faith in myself , i talk back to my parents too much , i want to cry right now , i pretend everything’s okay when it’s really not , i just can’t seem to understand math ,i am a […]
I’m a freshmen in college and I have not made alot of friends. I started getting anxious junior year of high school and it ended up being a social thing where i felt like i was constantly being judged by EVERYONE and still do. Either the social anxiety has caused me to be deeply depressed for about 2 and a half years or the depression has made me so withdrawn from being social with old friends and trying to meet new friends that my life has become a very boring one.
For an extrovert like myself it is literally torture to be sitting in my room […]
You’re probably not interested in what I have to say but I’ve been reading these forums for about a week after stumbling across them. I just want somewhere to leave my thoughts so I figured this would do.
As the subject line says…. I failed. Pretty badly. I look back at what could have been and compare it to what I am now and think ‘oops, I kinda screwed that up’. I won’t bore you all with the details but if you are reading this then you are reading the writings of a once talented sportsman, who moved to America to pursue his dream, had a […]
It feels like I’m living on a roller coaster and I keep getting stuck at the bottom. The past year has been the worst if my life. My parents almost splitting up, my boyfriend attempting suicide, my dad threatening suicide, one of my old friends taking her own life and me being blamed for it. There is no comparison for that type of pain, that agony. I didn’t cause this I had to tell myself just to drag myself out of bed in the morning. People I thought were friends turned their back on me. It hurt. Then another person close to me takes his […]
im 14 years old i just had my heart broken with a guy that abused me and even tho he did i still miss him and i feel heartbroken caus now he has a gf and it was one of my old friends i thought i had people there for me but i guess not all my girls left me caus he never let me go hangout with them i always had to be with him and him only i wasnt allowed talking to other guys and he break up my best guy friend i know i should hate him but i dont……i have scars […]
I don’t know why but recently I do want to just disappear. Recently I have so much stresss from for finding a new job. Also my wife is not helping at all. She works, but she keeps on pushing me. To a point i just want to end it. Sometimes I just want a divorse and sometime I just want to end my life because of so much stress. I don’t know what I should do. Sometimes I pray that I won’t wakeup in the morning. That my life will end in my sleep. I don’t want to kill myself, because I think its wrong. […]
I started to get Sexually abuse at the age of 3-10.  Well I’m 13 right now. Well I remember snap Shots of when I was 3 ! I don’t remmeber everything. I would go over my auntie house because she would baby sit me while my mom was at work. I just remember my cousin taking my dolls and me crying and he would say “You would half to do this in order to Get your doll back”. Which my cousin was 12 or 13 at the time and I was 3 . He molested  me lots of times as I can remember.He would tell […]
I cant take this anymore. I’m so sick of everything. I cant handle Anything and it seems like everyone around me cant stand anything I do. I cant be that bad. I cant be the one that ruins everything. But I am.
I’m a horrible person and I don’t deserve the life I have. I hate myself. Why cant people decide if they are going to live? Why does it have to be so hard to flip the switch?
Some people don’t get that. They say I over react, particularly him. The one person I cant let go of. Hes always there, always telling me […]
I am 30 now. I was thinking a lot about suicide since I was a teenager, but i never tried it, all I did was cutting myself.
I always thought this sadness and lonelyness inside me would go away, but it just didn’t.
When i was 21 i was in therapy for a while and I stopped cutting myself after that, moved abroad and started school. But the sadness always stayed with me.
I graduated from school, I am an artist and in school i was really good, but now it’s of course very difficult. That’s probably how it is for everybody, but i don’t have the strength […]
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