Basically.. My birth mother was a fucking drug addict. She did cocaine while being pregnant with me. Therefore I was born with a congenital heart defect called hypo plastic left heart syndrome (basically I was born without the left side of my heart.) I lived with that piece of shit until I was 8 years old. She physically abused me everyday, very harshly. I was never good enough. At 8 years old I moved in with my father. May 1st 2010 I had a heart transplant. On my 12th birthday I was diagnosed with cancer. My father is very verbally abusive. When he found out […]
I been thinking about suicide for along time now I am 23 years old and ever since I can remember I been depressed but lately it’s been getting worse I think the only thing keeping me here is me little princess my 3 year old daughter it’s really hard because I don’t want to leave her but I don’t know how much longer I can take this pain I hate pretending like I’m ok
Peaking through the pipeline, the red retina of a sweet, white death. It tunnels redemption and purification, drilling down through the walls and the ceilings of a deep-seated madness. It’s an exhilarating construction of love.
The sun never sets in the land of betrayal. I expended my life in the liberarion of people’s stains. I avoid the common and the norm, and recklessly crush my knees over new untamed paths, only to find myself chased, still, by memories of spiked colored eyes; stabbing my chest.
I was […]
She don’t even remember yo birthday!!That person that used to be crying In the restroom cutting himself 30+ cuts,thats the old you.That person that tried to kill himself two times Is the old you.Now,now she don’t even remember yo birthday.People come & go but success stays with you as long as your willing to do your part.Work hard so that no one & I mean no one can take that away from you!!Its only the beginning of your young life & were all happy that you stuck around to experience It.
I had a mental breakdown last week and added 10x more scars to my body than there needs to be… I am a pessimist but also an optimist in training. But right now i feel like all the bottles in the world of prescription Prozac and Ativan couldnt fix me, i feel broken and lost like the lost things that end up in neverland. I hate these feelings they drive me insane and one day im scared that i might just be. I am only 19 years old but have suffered from depression since grade.9 and anxiety since grade.10, despite being in my 2nd year […]
Alcohol… makes me feel great for a few hours then horrible for about 24. Last night I drank two-thirds of a bottle of wine, way too much for this middle-aged woman. Pills have never been my friend and I try to avoid sedatives as much as possible, but insomnia, a companion since childhood seriously kicked in the past few months along with my suicidal tendencies, and I’ve been reaching for that bottle of pills too often. While the pill hangover is zombie-like the booze makes me want to die even more than ever.
In the past year I’ve managed to almost completely isolate […]
Those familiar with my posts know that my fiancée and her three kids abandoned me and erased me from their lives completely. And that was after 5 1/2 years of complete and utter devotion to them.
The oldest and youngest knew their biological fathers. The middle child did not know hers. I first met her when she was 7 years old. Her mom and I started our relationship when she was 9.
At first she didn’t know anything about it, but when she found out, she couldn’t have been happier. Even though her younger sister’s dad had adopted her when she was 6, she never felt like […]
hell, I was so happy last year. New flat, new work, old friends, the most amazing boyfriend in my life…and now?
I fear death. Not my own. I can’t bear the thought of surviving while my beloved one doesn’t. I can’t see my beloved die, so I die first. don’t we have the right to choose and push the escape button?
It is so dangerous to love and then fear the death of that loving person.
I miss her so much it hurts. She was my everything. My reason to get up in the morning. My reason to want to be a better person. My reason to want to live.
Now that she has left me, there is a hole inside me. The hole is so big, I can’t function anymore. I can’t work. I can’t think straight. I can’t laugh or smile. I’m useless without her.
All I do every second of every day is think about her. I have daydreams of her texting me or calling me to say she still loves me and she made a mistake. I imagine our […]
Hi I’m a 25 years old living in England I’ve been Self-harming for the past 11 years and would love to stop I’ve tired everything to stop even getting a tat on my arm to but that did not even work I was wondering what have people done to stop self-harming thanks
You may all think I am hopelessly naive, but I am a person of faith. I long to be done with this side of existence as I really have no one or anything to make hanging around worthwhile. I suffered intense bullying as a child and teenager. I attempted at 17. But once I was out of high school, things did change. And although I have always been the proverbial misfit and lonely my entire life, things did get somewhat better for me and I had two successful careers in retail and travel. Now my health has taken all of that from me and depression […]
I am 34 years old. I am absolutely worthless. I am alone and will always be that way because I am the ugliest creature on the planet (short, fat, and the most disgusting butterface anyone has ever had the displeasure of laying eyes on). I have no hope to ever be loved. I have been trying so hard to be happy and I was doing well for a while. I was volunteering, working with kids since I will never have any of my own but my sister screwed that up by starting some shit with the wrong people online and dragging me down with her […]
I apologize for my rambling. It probably goes from rambling thought to another.
I don’t remember being happy or a least happy for long. Although, I remember when I fell in love with someone, I was very ecstatic. However as time moved one, this romantic interest I have with a friend I loved dearly proved to be unfruitful. It turns out, it was a pretty much a lie. I watched her flirt with me while she would officially have relationship another guy (a boyfriend). I was like her dirty desire she would talk to on the phone. We would plan non-existent dates and vacations. She’s married […]
Well, since this is my first post I don’t really know what I’m doing. So I’ll just talk about who I am and why I’m here. I am a 15 year old girl from tennessee. I have a alcholoic father who is the cause of every single problem I have in my life. I suffer from severe depression and social anxiety. I never want to leave my house for anything. I had to drop out of traditional school to do online school. I never had good grades in school and I always assumed it was because I just couldn’t focus with a bunch of kids […]
So today I was inviting people to something on facebook, and I just saw her face among my friends.
That sweet girl who used to be my friend on highschool and killed herself some years ago.
It’s kind of weird having her on facebook. It makes me feel… I don’t know how. Specially seeing her childish face when everyone else has become an adult.
It’s like if a piece of world had stopped moving. And there she is, being 19 years old forever.
I remember that I saw her a month before her dead. Even if our friendship didn’t have a good end and we hadn’t […]
Hello my name is Marcello, I’m a 16 year old who is considering suicide. In a nutshell the reason that I want to end it is because my parents are divorced and my whole family is fighting. I have been doing some research about methods and I think hanging is the best option. The tools I have available to me are a belt and 2 ties, I would want to know the best way to do it and what it will feel like.
I hate myself. Why don’t people understand how I feel or how other people like me feel? Everything hurts even when I’m not that old yet. I wish I could escape all this madness…then I think to myself, I never really fit in in the first place…what if I dissappeared what would happen no one would care for me… “life is a play ” another person gone and the play will still go on, the world will still spin…my verse in this play dose not seem that long and important…but what if it is I mean I’m just a child to to some people… […]
I have a sweet tooth.
Days can pass and I won’t be hungry, won’t eat, but the second someone offers me something sweet- or if I find it myself- the fast is broken; it can be an apple, a piece of candy, grapes, ice cream. Anything.
But why? Who cares?
The reason is old and sad (or pathetic, if that’s how you want to see it).
We’re not rich. We usually don’t have a lot of food.
When I was younger, we still didn’t have much to eat, but we rarely got anything sugary (or fruits, because parents just went and bought fast food for the starving masses).
My story is a bit of a funny story, I suppose. I had an awful childhood. Not the worst, it had it’s bright moments, I suppose. I was never physically abused, but physical abuse isn’t the worst kind of abuse… When I was really little, I was diagnosed with ADHD, and the doctor said I was borderline autistic, but he didn’t want me to live with that label too, so he never gave me an official diagnosis. But he said my symptoms were so bad, I would likely never graduate high school, and if I did it would be through special education.
My parents divorced when […]
It’s a long story but I’ll try to make it short. My wife made some bullshit complaints about me 1 year ago and got a protection order against me. Well, the protection order ended today and I find myself still struggling with all that’s happened. I haven’t had any contact with her for the last year. I hear about her through our 17 year old son during visitation and thru my lawyer. I got served with divorce papers and the divorce is still winding its way thru the courts. That’s it – no “goodbye”, no “it’s over” or “we’re through.” We’ve been married 24 years […]