I didn’t sleep last night. It turns out, I spent the night writing. I don’t remember doing it. But I wrote a lot, and what I wrote somewhat makes sense, but I’m not so sure if it would to others. No one else seems to have my thinking pattern. At least, I think it’s mine. I’m not so sure. Basically, I’m confused as hell this morning. I’m shaking and ill, everything is blurring and I’m exhausted. I don’t know if I overdosed. I found chunks of hair in my bed. I remember ‘waking up’ (except i wasn’t. Sort of like waking up from a day […]
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I have to be always remined that I am just not ment to be happy or have a voice others like my parents and husband try to tell me thats not true but learn that that a I cant have happiness.
I’m just overflowing with sadness right now.
I am always, but especially right now.
I posted this 3 times already, but the concert I had attended was called, “WE DAY,” an entertaining show with dancers, singers, and speakers to come together in order to celebrate giving back to the community/ world. Helping out others, making this world amazing day by day.
It was very inspirational. I have to admit. I felt I COULD have a place in this world to make it better…
But the entire time I listened, I thought:
“I can’t even help myself…How can I help others?”
This may be the 5th of crown talking, but I have noticed a theme here. A trend if you will….
Seems like lots of men here (like myself) with broken hearts…..
And the woman here are just generally are tired of life and have significant others.
I am not sure quite what to make of this revelation….
I don’t know if I’ll come out of it this time. I dip pretty low, but somehow I find my way out of the mire enough to catch a breath. But this time is different. I don’t have anything to motivate me…well, except my debt. Seriously, debt is the only thing that gets me out of bed in the morning. I guess if I decide not to kill myself, I’m afraid I’ll have ruined my life too much if I don’t pay my bills. Everything I do anymore is motivated by fear–not love or passion or even just a simple desire to do that thing. […]
Known as: Flynt Stryker
Ability: Pyrokinisis
Backstory: After years of abuse and torment, a fire grew inside Alan until it could no longer be contained. He rose from the the smoldering ashes of his wreckage a changed man. Vowing to protect others from atrocities. He is Flynt Stryker.
Game on, who are you?
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
Edit: I wrote this the other night when I was drunk, guess it’s just posted now…
In my current drunken state…we’re not as different as we feel. The people who we feel are far more “normal” as us are fighting similar battles as us. I’m sure I will feel far different as a sober me, but just know that the thoughts that bring us close to suicide are actually the same thoughts that bring us closer to others. In your moments of weakness and loneliness, try to have faith that you’re not as f-ed up and as alone as you feel….distant love to all <3.
Stumbled upon this site and I’m wondering if others feel they are looking for something that doesn’t exist. Compulsive shopper thinking I will find something that will make a difference in my life. Really don’t know how long I’ve been doing this and curious if this is common. Thanks
People who talk about their will to attempt suicide and prevent others from suicide at the same time.
I’m not saying that if you feel suicidal, you should encourage everybody, but dammit, how could tell others that their lives are valuable when you can’t appreciate yours? Either stop bitching about how you want to throw your life away or stop lying about how life never should be thrown away.
Not even here. I was contemplating sui before and sometimes I think of it. But I feel like I don’t relate anymore. I don’t know if I should even be writing this. I don’t think I should be here. But can’t rule myself out just yet. I obviously need or seek help and guidance but, maybe. Why can’t I be normal like I used to be. Just pull myself together like before. I have a hard time reading others’ posts because I don’t know if I’m going through anything other than self pity.
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
I need to know how crazy I am. I cut, burn, choke myself, abuse prescription and over the counter pills, and sometimes drive with my eyes closed to see if anything will happen. Sometimes I don’t think any of this is a big deal. I’ve grown to live like this almost constantly for the past year. Other times, I find myself sobbing, wondering what I’ve become. Is this a lot of self harm compared with others? I don’t know where I stand compared with other self harmers/suicide contemplators. I don’t know if I’m alone in this level of self hatred, or if there are others […]
Hey man, I’ve been seeing other women and do you have an email. Or chat on here? I’m doing what i think im supposed to. But seeking more advice on the matter. I like what you and some others say. And think
So it has been awhile since i was last on here. I found someone who made me forget about my shit life and for awhile i forgot about wanting to end my life. I have been through some messed up stuff but i have always put on a smile and played my role as the good daughter, the dependable best friend, the happy coworker, etc. But this person i fell in love with broke all of those masks. I cant hide behind anything anymore. I cant pretend that i give a shit about anything any more. Why would he want me? Im no good for […]
Imagine a life without human relationships. No partners. No children. No close friends. No feeling of connection.
What is left?
What else can give a sense of meaning to the suffering we all face as part of life? If for some reason connections with others are ruled out, what is left in this vast, empty world that can hold any enduring significance?
“Perfume was first created to mask the stench of foul and offensive odors…
Spices and bold flavorings were created to mask the taste of putrid and rotting meat…
What then was music created for?
Was it to drown out the voices of others, or the voices within ourselves?
This my first time on this site. I was able to have the opportunity to read many of other’s post in despair as well as others post of acknowledgement and support. I don’t wish anyone the sadness, loneliness, hopeless, and most of all worthlessness that comes with Depression or with any other mental illness for that matter. It is sad, but comforting to know there are others out there who feel the same way I do, and from all different background and stories. I have struggled with Depression since I was a teenager and now I am in my late 20’s and it […]
I am trying to keep it together and not express anything that would show how angry and sad I am all the time. I feel like I have terrible thoughts and urges but Im trying to keep it all inside because I dont want to hurt anyone. Today during dinner my roomates were having a conversation and I was thinking I wish I could participate better. I wish I could have a proper conversation and be engaged like normal people are. Instead I was just playing with my napkin. I eventually started ripping and tearing it. They pointed out, you know psychopaths do that, then […]
Hi. I’m french, so sorry if I make a lot of mistakes.
I don’t think that I want to end my life. I can’t say that I really hold to her, but idk.
But I hate my life, I always hated her. I hate my personality, I hate to be so irritable and so stupid. I play with my life, I’m the kind of persons who always think to do something, but never act. Then I always regret that, but I don’t do anything to change. I act as if I don’t care about what peoples think of me, but finally I need the approval of others. […]