Tag:

painful

The worst of all…

by nozmoking 8/5/2014

written by nozmoking

– is being powerless. We know that nothing will ever change for some of us. We know the pain, whether physical, emotional or spiritual will become worse if nothing else. And here we are without the courage or the means to end what amounts to (at least for me) a useless existence.

Sure, a sea slug has some purpose but it lives without feeling or much thought. It sucks in the tiny organisms that sustain it until it can reproduce and eventually be consumed by something else. But isn’t it content in its purpose? Does it cry itself to sleep knowing the ultimate pain it will […]

8/5/2014 6 comments

Mother’s words getting more n more anxious by the day…

by iRuiz55 8/4/2014

written by iRuiz55

I mean we’ve never really been financially stable it seems with a father who doesn’t seem to give a shit about how he spends his money then again he was raised on a farm so I’m sure its hard for him to adopt to life here but it sure would help if he at least acted to give a fuck about us at all -_-… anyways yes Money always seems to be a problem n My Mom is always stressing about it she works so hard n we still never have enough she has these talks with Me about what I should do with My […]

8/4/2014 13 comments

Just a story that doesn’t matter

by TheStranger17 8/4/2014

written by TheStranger17

You know, I haven’t had a bad life. Really, in perspective, retrospect, looking back… other people have worse problems than me. What I’m going through.. It’s bearable. You know, you bear it because you have to? But at the same time, it feels like you are going down an endless road of shite and it just keeps going and going like a frikken Duracell battery.

I have a pretty decent set of parents, I love them and I wouldn’t change them for the world – well, besides the fact that they are overweight and I don’t want to lose them before I have children, or even […]

8/4/2014 3 comments

by lostchild445 8/2/2014

written by lostchild445

So this is life?
This is the great mystery?
When every day is so predictably painful that I see no point in waking again?

What have they told you? That life isn’t fair? They know not the half of it.

Voices. Voices whose mouthes I cannot find speak to me, they speak my mind, my mind, my mind will not stay it’s breath, oh why won’t it let me be?! I cannot think clearly for these clouds of despair block my vision to a brighter tomorrow that they say exists out there.

With every day the same tragedy and the memory of what I used […]

8/2/2014 1 comment

Frustration!

by WaitingPatiently 7/27/2014

written by WaitingPatiently

I love the way that life hands me extra frustration when I am already feeling more pain than I can withstand. There is nothing to do but distract myself, try to find pleasure in simple things and endure the experience until it finally ends.

I get so tired of looking up, of putting a happy face over my perceptions and soldiering on. But there really is nothing else to do except feel raw pain distinctly. Does that help me?

I keep having intrusive thoughts about choices that I regret having made and about how my life compares to the life that I hoped to live. […]

7/27/2014 3 comments

The San Francisco bridge

by keckis 7/23/2014

written by keckis

I was searching Google for the painless pill people were discussing last night and came across a link to the most common ways oncr thought yo be painless but really are painful. It’s a site called something like o pish posh. You’ll see it. It ran down ods from pills to hanging which I knew was painful cuz it takes up to twenty mins to die and even addresses jumpin from a tall building which people do survive. It’s gotta be at least 25 stories. Then they play an amazing video documentary called the bridge. Interviewing witnesses family and one survivorxwo jumper the 245 foot […]

7/23/2014 13 comments

Suicide Pact

by Alexther 7/21/2014

written by Alexther

Well,I guess we’ll soon find out if I’ll live or die through this…

I just made a suicide pact with myself.I’m going in vacation back to my homecountry of Romania and,if things don’t change for the better until the end of the summer,then that’s it.It will never change for the better.It’s now or never.

I’m not even hoping that things will get better,because I know that every time I put my hopes in something,it turns into a huge and painful disappointment.Sometimes I really want something very bad to happen so I have a ”reason” to kill myself,as if I don’t already have one…

Haha,anyway,if I do commit suicide […]

7/21/2014 4 comments

Fighting a relapse.

by Rey 7/19/2014

written by Rey

Hi.

This is my first post. I should probably introduce myself.

I am a 21 year old girl living in New Zealand. I first began to notice a dip in my mood when I was 12-13 but understandably at that age I couldn’t quite get what the feelings were a symptom of. I constantly hit what I thought was rock bottom only to find myself continuing to slide down. I spend years battling it, as well as an accompanying eating disorder, and finally recovered fully in 2013.

I decided to leave home in order to continue my recovery journey. I have been living on my own for the […]

7/19/2014 7 comments

Sorry I didnt call…..

by RuinsOfTheVoid 7/16/2014

written by RuinsOfTheVoid

I have really mixed emotions about coming back to sp.

I battled with depression, suicide, cutting and general shit in my life and I have come close to death many times. I believed that life was never going to get better, that I was going to die a lonely virgin loser and bring shame and hurt to my family. I have stood atop the highest building in my college and peered over the edge and stood there for many painful hours. I have cut deep, and popped pills. I was badly beaten as a child periodically and mentally tortured. I came here and wrote angry posts […]

7/16/2014 7 comments

Firefly’s Story

by Dark Firefly 7/15/2014

written by Dark Firefly

My story, here’s hoping.

Mature audiences only. 15+ would be my recommendation but I don’t know. When I was 13 I read this sort of thing. But please, if you’re young, don’t read this.

Between the ages of 4 and 10, my brothers repeatedly beat me after school. My parents worked full time and to me, they were almost like strangers. My two half brothers and my one half sister hate me. They despise me, they always told me that my dad favored me, because their dad lived far away and my mum divorced him and married my dad. Whenever I went crying to mum, she would […]

7/15/2014 21 comments

Firefly In

by Dark Firefly 7/15/2014

written by Dark Firefly

I’ve been told to look to the future, but I feel so cramped now. My past can make me cry on the spot and the pain in the past is so unbearable I look to options that are frowned upon. The present is also unbearable, being tired and stressed out, and my future only holds ridiculous amounts of stress. The future is just, too much. I don’t even want to think about next week let alone the upcoming years. Even when I’m in my thirties, I’m going to have this stress. How are we supposed to live like this?

How can you get on with your […]

7/15/2014 3 comments

No more tomorrows

by cvann5 7/14/2014

written by cvann5

I was married for sixteen years. I have three sons. I have three degrees. I have also lost everything in this world that mattered to me. I can’t see or visit my sons because I can’t afford it. I am in constant pain with a bad neck and back. The most painful thing is that I lost the only woman I ever truly loved nearly 30 years ago. I lost the second woman I loved two years ago. Without love, what is a person? I keep dragging this reminder of the thin edge of life and death across my wrists every day or so. One […]

7/14/2014 0 comment

I’m scared I’ll wake up….

by misunderstood67 7/14/2014

written by misunderstood67

I’ve already picked a date on when I’m going to kill myself. I decided I’ll do it by overdosing on nortriptyline. I have a total of 600mg and a bottle of red wine. Will that be enough? I’m afraid I’ll wake up paralyzed or brain damaged. I don’t want it to be a failed attempt. I hope it won’t be too painful.

7/14/2014 1 comment

Ever feel like you were meant to die?

by alum 7/10/2014

written by alum

And I’m not talking about the people who have had close brushes with death and feel like they are living on borrowed time (you know, the ones who are like “a piano almost fell and killed me! Now I will live life to the fullest!”). Or maybe I am? I have survived from a very real attempt at suicide. I always wanted to die. I have tried plenty of other times but was always stopped or prevented. I hate that when you die, the people who treated you the worst are never the remorseful ones. The funny thing is that they are the ones who […]

7/10/2014 33 comments

a suicide poem

by Talisen 7/4/2014

written by Talisen

I Am Sorry

For all I’ve antagonize take pleasure as i agonize over my slow painful death and I say. I am sorry!

for those I have wronged my pain is prolonged I just want them to know. I am sorry!

for every second you waste on my stupid mistakes i am sorry

for every penny you spent on a life that I went, and wasted I am sorry

now that I’m gone I hope you move on and please… don’t remember me just know I am sorry

7/4/2014 0 comment

This sucks…….

by holding on until May 7/2/2014

written by holding on until May

I’ve seen too many things painful in my lifetime. Too many painful memories. When I was in sixth grade, I learned of a type of music called screamo, and a type of people called emos. I loved being a part of them, they actually felt more human than others. I got bullied for hanging out with them, liking the songs/bands. My dad almost went to jail, and he was the only one who could make me smile at that point. My mum vocally abused me, so the scars would be in my heart, not skin. My dad was the only thing I had. After awhile […]

7/2/2014 0 comment

I am my own worst enemy.

by bornfordying123 7/1/2014

written by bornfordying123

For me, the expression “you are your own worst enemy” holds a lot of truth. It’s a painful reality that much of what limits me in my life is my own feelings of unworthiness and self-hatred.

But where do these feelings come from? How do they influence us? And how can we push past them to live a life free of the harsh attitudes of our inner critic? I will never know.

7/1/2014 2 comments

Rant

by shatteredhopes 6/20/2014

written by shatteredhopes

I’m fucking tired of living like this. I hate not being able to do anything about it. Can’t you see that you’re hurting me? Can’t you understand that the things you say tear me apart? Why does everything hurt so much? I’m blinded by all of these things you throw at me. I’m suffocating from all this pressure. I can’t help but think of all of the most painful ways to die, and how I would perform them on myself. I can’t breathe, I can’t think. I fucking hate myself. I’m so useless; I can’t do anything right. I do everything I possibly can to […]

6/20/2014 4 comments

Chasing the dragon

by que sera 6/19/2014

written by que sera

Although I would never walk that same path, knowing the pain that will rein onto my loved ones. Being a heroin junkie drowned out my depression caged my thoughts with painful withdrawals and lifted me back up to clouds when I finally got that hit. No self-loathing no depression but at the very least a selfish reason for living.

6/19/2014 2 comments

I want to die, I’m just scared of the pain.

by Emlar 6/18/2014

written by Emlar

I’ve made up my mind I want to die, I don’t see the point my existence anymore. The only thing holding me back is my fear of the pain before I go, I don’t want to die thinking only of the pain I want to go while I’m thinking of my friends and family… Some of you reading this may question “if you have family and friends why do you want to die it’s pointless?” and the sad fact is that I simply give up, I give up fighting all these emotions and I give up to the pain and suffering hard times have given […]

6/18/2014 1 comment

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