I’ve posted a few times over the last little while. I guess this is the only place I’ve ever actually talked about this before. I’m tired. I don’t want to be me anymore. I know that no matter what happens I’ll never want to be. I’ve wanted to die for years and have just kept putting it off because of the microsecond that things started to look up. But it never fails that I will be right back in the hole again. I tired of the panic attacks and the sobbing for no reason and the short bursts of superficial happiness that keep me thinking I […]
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Panic Attacks
she was like a mom to me, a figure i never had before,i loved her when she was gone, and i hated her when she was around, she was either in an over protective mood were she drove me crazy, or in a cool person mood, were you could tell her anything and not be scared,i was never use to someone being so protective over me, i was always use to being kicked out of the house and left to sleep out side under a pine tree,where noone wondered or cared if i was even alive,but with her,if i came in the door a minute […]
It has almost been seven years since you were taken away from me. Every holiday, especially Mother’s Day, your birthday, and the anniversary are particularly hard for me. However, what is killing me is that I cannot remember how your voice sounded, how you smelled, whether your hands were soft or rough, how it felt to be hugged by you. With every passing day your memory gets fuzzier. And I am in so much pain because I have had to grow up without you surrounded by people who do not appreciate their own mothers. I hate how people make passing comments about “my mom” without […]
I am stressed and live with high anxiety all the time. It is to the point when I do not even remember what life is like without constant pressure and I am only 21. I understand that life is stressful, that there will always be things that upset me, and that since I have survived much more difficult times in my past. But it is exhausting to just survive at this point, and it seems to be only getting worse. Before I can resolve one problem or stressor another one comes up, and then another and then another, and the stress and anxiety I live […]
My name is Taylor. I’m 17 years old. And I’m ready to go…Â Â I’ve been bullied since I was 9. And even before that I always had trouble making friends. I have Asbergers Syndrome, and thus its painfully hard for me to talk to people. I’ve been to about 11 schools. I kept dropping out and going switching schools. I couldn’t handle the bullying. But the thing is, even though the setting changed the story never did. I always got picked on and left out. Id come home crying everyday. In 9th grade the bullying hit a peak. I went to a small private school then, […]
I was one of those people that were always like killing yourself is stupid. I realize now that was because I had it pretty close to I prefect life. But I worked hard to do that too. I had all As and great friend. And I was so pretty. In my freshman year of high my mom told me we were moving. I didn’t want too. But would any teenager want to move 1,000 miles away from their life, friends, everything. I throw I fit but I knew I was making it harder on myself so I told her I would be good and go. […]
I’m stressed the fuck out, January 6th I goto jail for 2months… I’m so tempted to end it all. fuck I don’t know what to do any more, Jail is the worse place to be I have severe social anxiety and I know I will be having panic attacks all day long……… I can’t even goto the mall without feeling so nervous, jail is gonna destroy my soul. I just wanna goto sleep at night and never wake up again. end is near! fml
As always, it’s a fight between putting up the bluff tough guy appearance and being honest with my feelings. Outwardly, I’m a 6’6″, 300 lb ex-bouncer with plenty of experience with armed attackers. Inwardly, I’m still the scared 9 year old cowering in the corner. But I’m getting ahead of myself, giving the wrong impression entirely and going in two many directions at once. Seems that’s my way.
Let me start again. I was diagnosed with a fractured personality disorder a while back. I can thank my degree in Psychology which hangs unused on the wall to fill in the blanks the cheap psych profiler missed. […]
To those who suffer and think that suicide will end the pain, I have a message for you…..
by ibjennyjenny
written by ibjennyjenny
To those who suffer and think that suicide will end the pain, I have a message for you…..
Okay, so I’m starting a new thread because I was hijacking someone elses with my problems and that’s not fair at all, I feel really bad about doing that. I’m sorry.
I basically wrote my story in a comment so I’ll just paste it here and explain a little more.
Such a long story.. I was so desperate last night. I still am and I don’t know what to do. I’m 20 years old, still living at home and I don’t have a job. My biological dad killed himself as did my uncle, we were very close. My mom, who has been married to another man for […]
I thought furiously about how I was going to let my parents know, would an email be so bad. If I sent an email they would know straight away, but would they have the computer on, would they even check their emails. I know I didn’t, in-fact it was very rare I checked mine, I would normally have at least 100 emails to make my way through as I left it so long before looking. It does seem a little impersonal, but how else would I let them know. I put the thought to one side as my thoughts redirected themselves to the […]
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