I honestly feel bad but assured about not telling my parents about my problems. I know I have problems and im a fuck up but I don’t want my parents to know that. My dad is trying to work as hard as possible to get his vacation leave and my mom is having problems at work. Both my parents are trying to keep the house we live in and they’re trying their best to pay for everything. My parents never even had a wedding like a full on wedding with the cake and the decorated themed church. And I want to give them that chance. […]
Tag:
Parents
This is the first time I post something on here but I feel like I’m finally ready to do something like this. For this first post I think I’m just gonna tell my story, I need to get it off my chest.
On the 30 of September 17 years ago my brother was born. And 2 years later on his birthday, I was born. We always shared our birthday and it was something really special. Me and my brother were always close, like few brothers and sisters are. Besides being my brother, he was also my best friend.
But it all ended on the 25 […]
my parents don’t even have a clue that thing got worse. It’s useless. I can’t be someone because I freak out in public because of my anxiety. I never leave my room. I want out but I don’t have a way. I’m weak. I want to be strong.
ive singlehandedly fucked up my whole life. i was in love with my best friend. we’ve been best friends for years and ive loved him the whole time and then i fucked the whole thing up. because he was being distant and i freaked and stopped talking to him for weeks and then the first time he even texted me all he wanted to say was that he “liked” someone. this gorgeous fucking perfect girl that everyone is in love with and that he will never get. and now everything is messed up and i ruined our friendship and we are both going to the […]
I’m 15 and sad. I know these dark thoughts are bad and I should get help but I honestly don’t want to depend on anyone for my weakness. I don’t know whether im depressed or just sad… all I know is that I feel empty and really dark all the time. I don’t remember when this all started and I don’t know when im getting better. I have self-harmed before and I still do. I remember the first time I took a blade to my wrist I was only 12. At an age like that I should have been happy and going out playing in the sun. […]
A week ago I had an intake with another mental health institution, because the therapy I have now at the moment won’t help me (the therapists told me after 6 months) and will end in a few weeks. Now I have therapy 5 days in a week from 9 am till 3 pm. The conclusion of the intake was that they think that a 24/7 therapy will help, but there’s a waiting list of 9 months for -.- . So they had the plan to observate me first, also 24/7, but another therapy. So in a few weeks I’ll have my intake for that 24/7 […]
My mom is a crack head who doesn’t love or take care of me. She told me to my face that she wishes I wasn’t born. She’s never taken care of me. My dad is an alcoholic who I don’t live with. He is in a recovery but he still cant take care of me. He’s selfish. He has custody of me but he wont give it over to my aunt who does take care of me. Why? I don’t know. He was the one who said that I was a shitty daughter. That I don’t deserve to live. I don’t want to believe him […]
Maby its time to tell why I am here. My brother killed himself a week ago. He didnt leave a note he didnt tell me, that anything is so very wrong. I knew that he is depressed, because he was in his room all day doing nothing. Hes moode changed super fast … But last couple of months he seemed much better, like he finnaly made peace with the world. I get it now… I read a few pages he wrote. He thought nobody loved him – I LOVED HIM!!! I still do… He decided to kill himself till july and didnt want anyone to […]
My story is kind of a weird one. But here it goes. My main reason for attempting suicide, was a girl. But this girl, is incredible. Beautiful,
Funny, sweet. Id say more things about how great she is, but that would take a while. Anyway, heres the story. This girl, who i pretty much fell in love with, is like my world at this time. I cant get her out of my mind, i cant sleep because of her. It sounds like thats coming right out of a movie. But its true. I actually love this person. Which didnt work out to well for […]
Today,31 May 2013,I just came back from school feeling absolutely sleep deprived and unmotivated. I had it tough these few weeks. School,projects,assignments and continuous disgust i get from the people who resents me,has made life pretty much unbearable these few days. I have been crying these few days and just trying to hold on to what I know best.
I notice that no matter how much effort i put into school,things never go the way i want it to be. It makes me breakdown inside. I feel so hopeless and I feel so useless. I feel that I was never meant for college life. Honestly,right now […]
Hi, I’m 12 years old and in the 7th grade. I have never tried to commit suicide but I have considered it. I just want it all to end sometimes, but sometimes I look around and think, “Why would I want to die? There’s so much to live for.” I started cutting about two months ago, but got addicted fast. I didn’t realize it at first. I thought I was in control and I wasn’t. Finally I thought, “This is stupid. I’m done with this.” I managed to not cut for all of 24 hours, then I couldn’t stop myself anymore and cut again. I […]
I never asked to be born. It’s not like I was given much of a choice. I didn’t choose my parents, my house, the schools I went to or the country in which I live. I’m just here. And everyday it becomes harder for me to accept that. It’s not my fault that I see the world the way I do, or that I hold such feelings of hatred for it. Nothing would make me happier than to see it and everyone in it burn. But no amount of me hoping, ranting or dreaming of that is going to make it happen. So I give […]
I remember when I had none
No secrets.
There were no need for them.
I could trust anyone and everyone with anything.
I had no secrets.
I had no worries.
But one day something changed.
I became older, more mature
and suddenly everything was my fault.
Have you ever had a loved one pass?
Have you ever been bullied?
Has your mother ever gotten mad at you,
and said the words “Its just who you are”?
That’s all happened to me.
Now I’m worried.
Now I have secrets.
There’s no going back to the old me.
There’s no reversing what’s happened.
There’s nothing I can do,
besides […]
As I am typing this, my life on paper sounds like the most ideal life anyone can hope to live. I did drop out of college and my job, but only for a few months as I’m planning to get a part time summer job and take classes again in the Fall (I’m lucky my parents didn’t punch me in the head for what I did). Everyone in my family is… family. Normal. Granted, my parents and I had our differences and argued sometimes, but that’s normal, isn’t it?
Childhood was relatively normal (minus being molested by two teeenage girls when I was like… 8? I […]
I trusted some one again and they left me i gotten back a friend but i dont think she wants to talk to me really any more i have my friend i made this year hes a good friend i think i bug him some times i dont think i will ever find some one that whants to be my girlfriend more one day as much as i want some thing with them i put in so much effort with every one to put a smile when there sad or mad but whos there for me when i need it no one i just want […]
everyone at school hates me. i have no friends and they all think im weird. im constantly called a whore and a slut but ive never even had sex. the only thing keeping me here for this long is my boyfriend, but he likes another girl so hes basically cheating on me! i knew someone so perfect could never love me. my parents fight 24/7 so its not like i have anyone that cares for me. y live in hell when i can be happy? im so done everyone hates me, including me.i hate everything and everyone and they hate me right back. the only […]
I never thought that the people i watched on the tv in health class could one day be me. I never thought i would feel so helpless that i would want to die. But i do…and have attempted sciucide three times, each time i have either been stopped by someone, or it just didnt work. I think that this depression, or feelings of depression came about the start of my 9th grade year. Everyone has a group of friends, i was too unsocial to join one and now im too late, everyone always says; oh wow your so funny or you crack me up, but […]
I’m 13 years old. I would tell you my name, but being new here, I don’t know if I can trust you all to that extent yet. Normally, I post poems that reflect how I feel at the moment, or how I felt throughout the day, but right now I’d like to get a few things off my chest. I’ve told a few of my friends some of this before, but no one knows all of it at its worst. I feel as though I can trust all of you with at least this, even if I don’t know you. So here it goes.
My story:
I found this site about a year ago on my sister’s laptop. She was 15 then, and it was exactly three weeks before her 16th birthday. She’d declined my parents the joy of setting up a “sweet 16” party for her, because she didn’t want to give them the joy of setting it up. Then on her 16th birthday, she killed herself. I never got to ask her about the site, or why she always did everything she could to make our parents angry, now it doesn’t even matter. I don’t know if she had an account, I only know the site appeared on her […]
I guess it started when I was born. I’m currently writing incredibly bluntly, please bear with it. I’m immensely bitter, especially right now. The state I’m in right now is disjointed and confusing and I just don’t understand anything of my thoughts, I thought maybe writing my story out would help.
Right, so I guess it started when I was born. So really, just this family. I’ve been abused as a kid. I don’t realize this until now. I didn’t understand this as abuse, and I was a child who only knew their parents to be right. I didn’t really understand the concept of having your […]