Well I don’tknow what to say or where to start, but I guess just letting it all out is a start, so here it goes. I’m a 22 year old female and at the age of 22 I never knew I would of felt the amount of pain as I have this past few years. Past few weeks all I been thinking about is sucide, why should I go on? I can barley handle the pain because of this depression its like a disease that will never go away from the feel of it. I been thinking of different ways to do it overdosing, jumping […]
I guess I’m going to be a regular to this site now. Hello, whoever’s reading this. You’re pain has become my drug. Your pain is softer than my own. I found this site about a week ago, and I just keep coming back. During school at break, at work when I have a minute… and now, when I have to wake up early and go to school tomorrow. I lay in my bed, poised to hide my laptop should my parents walk down the hall. I am here once more. Reading, and commenting, and now posting.
You’re pain is distracting to me. I hope to do […]
Confused. That’s the feeling which describes me the most. I’m male, 22, and I’m currently engaged in a Master Degree. I had depressions before, I also had suicidal thoughts before, but I never tried it. I don’t fear my death, on the contrary, the idea itself is very pleasant to me, but I simply can’t decide wether I kill myself or not.
I know I’m responsible for all mistakes I’ve made. Problem is that I’m the failure. I feel like I shouldn’t stay alive because I’m a pain for everyone who surrounds me. I do have some friends, my parents are divorced, but fine, and they […]
So I was thinking a lot about my life…and how it turned out so far. Everyone that I know thinks I live such a good life, or atleast should. I have such a nice house, live in literally the nicest neighboorhood, have two parents, perfect grades, colleges asking ME to apply to THEM, own my own car, work at an IT job that pays a lot, have perfect skin….
And yet that brings me no joy, I’m missing the happiness from it all. I don’t want that. What am I leaving out from what I already said? Oh yeah…how I was raised in the hood, or […]
I’ve been on this site many times before…Reading this blog is like reading the Bible to me. It’s refreshing to be able to read all the honest feelings in these posts. I am not happy to read about how so many of us are suffering, but at the same time, it’s nice to know that I am not alone in how I feel at times…Well most of the time. I wish that I could accurately describe how fucked up my life is…It really is exceptionally miserable. I’ve spent the majority of my life with depression and anxiety…But I always had hope for the the future..Hope for […]
Hello! They say writing and sharing your experiences can be therapeutic, and in my case that is especially true. So, today I thought I’d take a moment to sit down and have a little chat with all of you.
My story really begins about 8-9 months ago. I was going through a rough time, I had just found out I have a lump in my spine. In the past years I have been diagnosed with:
Reynauds Disease
Fibromyalgia
Osteoporosis (in my neck)
Osteoarthritis (neck, again)
Heart Arrhythmia
Severe Insomnia […]
I just come across this site and thought I want to contribute.
i have recently got back from hospital after my third attempt to overdose. As a child my parents were violent and drug abusesers, I was in care for a while made homeless twice by my mother. Beaten, emotionally abused. I lived with an auntie for a big chunk of time who also abandoned me at 13. My dad left the house when I was 16 leaving me to look after my 14 year old brother. My mum come out of prison and set the house on fire. As I have grown up I have […]
I’ve been silently suffering for a while now. I have had thoughts about killing myself several times, but they mostly hit late at night, which is when i feel most alone. I’ve pushed everyone in my life out and i’ve secluded myself from a lot, but not on purpose, it just kind of happened. I’ve lost a lot of people, and i feel like if i just did it and wasn’t such a coward i’d be in a much better place. I’m afraid of doing it because i don’t know what happens next, but i’m sure whatever happens next after that, is a lot better […]
I’ve made up my mind. I don’t know if my parents will see this. Anyone feel free to email my mom this;
kira5605@yahoo.com
Dear Mom,
I can’t do this anymore. I know it’s hard for you to take care of me while living with dad. He’s un grateful and cruel. He hits both of us. I hate seeing you hurt. He always tells me that his life would have been better if I wasn’t born. If it was just you and him, no one else. Because of that, I think it’s the only way to keep you from hurting. I love you dearly. I want you […]
Today I almost made an enormous cut on my hand. But don’t worry i just made a few short cuts but I was really angry and frustrated. I hate it when I’m forced to do something I don’t want to do or do right away.I also hate it when my parents don’t understand me and what I’m going through. They never listen!!! I wish they would listen to me more often and I bet they would understand but even if I ask them to listen to me for just one second they still don’t get what I’m saying ‘cus they still NEVER listen.
I wish I […]
ive always been a daddys girl, growing up i always wanted to be with him! every field trip, every camping trip, my dad was the first person i ran to.. my mom and dad split when i was in 5th grade and things started to change.. i saw my dad cry for the first time, i have never seen him so mad. my dad started drinking and became more agressive.. i eventually came out to my parents and my dad didnt mind at all my mom at first was uneasy with it then she came around.. reacently i lost my girlfiend in a car accident, […]
i dont know what i want. no one cares at all. im not even all that pretty, which proves im not loved just used. how many times am i ganna try suicide til i succeed? probably countless cuz i obviously suck at trying. my family hates me..thats not even a question..they really do. i want someone to listen to me. and when i say im upset to actually listen not ignore me cuz it upsets them. i want someone who will stay by my side no matter what happens. cuz i need them more then they know. my life was getting better now its spiraling […]
How does it feel? Your brother sees the cuts on your wrist. The scars on your thighs. He tells your sisters and parents. Now everyone knows. Months later… Your brother tells you to stop being so mad ” This is getting old. Nobody gives a shit. Deal with it. Emo” Then your sisters… ” Stop being so mean to people. They did nothing to you.” NOTHING? HUH. Thats why i have bruises from Dad. Thats why mom use to yell at me for trying to make new friends. HOW DOES IT FEEL? They are the reason i’m this way… Then there is people at school. […]
I locked myself in my room for tree days now without food and water. I’ve been crying and thinking for these past 3 days. I locked myself because I got into a fight and mostly because I’m done. I’m done with everyone. Nobody understands me, I ask for help nobody gives me help. Everybody tells me the same thing everyday. My parents thinks i’m going through that teenage stage but actually its more then that. I’m sick of everyone.
I wish i wasn’t caught from those 3 times a tried to kill myself. I wish I was the one who died instead of my best friend […]
It feels like I don’t even have a family. My parents argue and then end up ignoring each other for months. I’m so tired of it.. its been going on since I was about 11 and now I’m 19! If I had the money to move out, I would. But I have school to pay for and by living with them, I don’t have to worry about rent,food, and other stuff like that. My life sucks!!!! I hate it. I feel bad saying that because others have it way worse than me but that’s how I truly feel. This house is not even a home.. […]
I woke up very anxious and stressed this morning. It’s midnight here now. And I’m thinking of suicide again. And murder. My parents’ arguing woke me up. It always bothers me when they fight. Why? Because I have a crazy mother. Yes, crazy. Clinically diagnosed with bipolar disorder or manic-depressive illness. I have seen her at a low level to the highest peak of her craziness. And when she gets nuts, really nuts, I shake like hell. I hate how much I am unable to control it. I always tell myself to toughen up but my body and mind defies me. I put […]
So as it turns out one of my closest friends is gay. He came out about 4 days ago and we were all shocked because he has had more GF’s than me in the past. We didn’t really know what to say, we couldn’t really say much since he just text us this.
We all met up the other night and it was the first real test to see if things were going to be different just because he was gay.  I like to think we are an open minded bunch, and I also liked to think that I am not prejudiced against anyone for any reason. But you never really know if your comfortable […]
Depression…It can come to anyone but that doesn’t mean it comes to everyone. It doesn’t just HAPPEN like that either. If you’re depressed, there’s a reason to it and it’s not something silly or stupid, it’s actually quite serious.
Right?
So that means all the people telling me that I’m looking for attention are wrong, and that something has happened within my lifespan to cause depression in my life. I’m not being an a**hole, attention-seeking or anything. I’m actually depressed.
But then there’s no cure to this. No-one to talk to around me, those whom I CAN talk to are far away, nad many people […]
Yesterday I went to a family Christmas party on my mom’s side of the family.
Two years ago this party was something my entire family attended, all 5 of my sisters and I would go together, with our parents. We were all there every single year, together.
However since that time, everything has changed. My 19 year old sister was kicked out of my family when she was 17 causing my parents to accuse anyone trying to help my sister of taking sides. Because of my parents choices, I wasn’t allowed to see my sister, grandma, aunt, or cousins, except for once or twice a year. […]
It’s so hard, that even though I love and cherish life I don’t want to throw it away, I don’t want to let him win. But they just don’t seem to see just how hard it is. Why won’t they make it stop?
Someone, anyone, has got to see the effect it has on me right? Someones got to see what he’s doing? But he’s “My dad”  right? Im must be a typical spoilt brat teenager, parents don’t bully their children, if only they FUCKING KNEW. Someones got to see, got to be ale to help me, Except, I’m too good at pretending, to good for […]