Hi, my names sarah I’m 14, school is horrendous I don’t get bullied but I’m invisible no one notices me and its all my fault cos in year 7 I would make bullshit up to try and fit in, and it worked at first then it backfired when my parents split up,I live with my mum who is now marrying a new guy in 2013 but the real reason I’m on here is because I’m in love with 2 people that I cannot have, the first lets call him Ben is my ex I loved him so much and I still do but when I […]
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Parents
I guess we all have different reasons for being here. For me it keeps coming back to the same thing: I’m not convinced that life is a good thing.
All living things are born with some sort of survival instinct. But has anyone rationalized why we should want to live? I think it’s just some sort of selfish programming, like the desire to take whatever you want. In the case of taking things (stealing), we’ve learned to suppress that instinct. Mindless carnal instincts like rape & violence are mostly suppressed too. But still there’s that ridiculous “self preservation” thing that nobody ever questions.
Maybe I was born […]
I did some research on the most painful type of death you can have..they said “liver failure” was. Since I deserve a slow and painful death without my parents figuring out that I killed myself, I figured that was the best way. I went to the store and bought three bottles of Tylenol, I figured that should suffice. How could that NOT give me instant liver failure? I won’t get a donor in time and BAM, I’m gone. That’s it, no more me. Finally have the guts to do it. I just don’t know when I’m going to…The timing has to be perfect.
You know that feeling when you are losing yourself again, when everything you’ve worked so hard to build up is falling apart? You know you’re slipping but there’s nothing you can do except pray for strength.
I’m 17 and I’ve felt this way far too many times.
I feel lost, like my life has lost all its meaning.
This year, right after summer vacation I was called into the counselors office at school. Last year I had an eating disorder but refused all the help my teachers and counselors tried to give me. She was just checking on me and I excitedly told her how […]
reasons for doing this
1. Im addicted to trying to hurt myself
2.I have loads of pills its to hard to get rid of them.At at least for me.
3. Im pretty sure nothing will come of it anyway. After all ive attempted suicide more times than can count and a lot of the times i was never admitted for treatment.
4. Ive been very scared lately of death which is very ironic.But the point is i dont want to be around without the people i love.I dont want to feel the emotional pain of loss.
5 I cant survive on my own.One of my […]
Lets see how much of this I can say without crying…
When I was 3 I moved from Michigan to Indiana because my parents got divorced. My mother immeadiatly got custody of me and my bother and sister. 3 years later my dad got remairred to a woman named Stephanie. She was nice most of the time, some of the time she was just awful. When my dad was gone she would scream and throw things. She secretly hated my father. All she wanted was a baby, but he couldn’t give her that. We all knew about this, but he never realized it. One night, […]
Its me…..i’ve still been cutting….i’ve been cutting for 3 years now. And i cant stop. I dont know how to get help and i don’t know how to tell my parents. they found out before and supposedly am a lot better but i never really felt that way. Or maybe i did feel better but i can’t let go of my past and i never stopped cutting. I dont cut in my wrists anymore cause my mom got really mad at me the last time she saw it….she hasn’t been very understanding but then again i know its hard for a my mom to see […]
I am a 32 year old woman who still lives at home with her parents, been made bankrupt and had had two relationships (both under a year).
Up until 3 years ago I had my clinical depression under control, but then it all went to shit! Something happened at work and I hit lower than rock bottom.
I went from thinking I had lots of friends, good at my job, happy and in control, go being locked in a secure mental ward, leaving my job, losing all my friends and was left with no one or nothing!
People think committing suicide is so easy and its […]
I was physically abused by my brother until I was 16 and left home. I admitted it to my parents, with whom I have always been very close with 3 years ago.
They claim to believe me. The claim to back me up. But after my last suicide attempt, after 3 days in 4 points in the ICU, when sent to the psych ward..they promised me certain things.
You see I uprooted my entire life on the West Coast to move back to the Midwest and help care for my sick father. He’s very young, only 65. But has a host of degenerative diseases. I went from […]
i dont want compliments, or anyone to tell me it will get better. if you understand, you will know why i feel like i can’t go on. i want to kill myself so badly. it’s just scary to think about it. i cut myself so much its getting crazy. and i just can’t eat anymore. i’m so tired of feeling rejected and lost. i am so tired of living. i’m not even joking when i say no one would care if i died. and i’m not lying when i say im not pretty. i mean it. i mean every word i say. i can’t even […]
I left my abusive boyfriend/fiancee of 5 years earlier this month.. My parents practically kidnapped me and sent me out of state with realtives to get away from him.. but hes not a threat anymore.. He’s moved on.. told me the new girl he’s with is much better than I could ever hope to be 🙁 well good for them.. I still love him for some reason and that’s what really gets to me.. I know its truly a shame for her because once this happy stage wears off she’ll see his abusive side.. I’m just so hurt.
My parents want me to start my […]
i grew up with both my parents being psychologists, arguing was usually a nightmare, watching them fight before the divorce was almost worse not that i was ever too broken up about it. What it taught me though was a very good understanding of the mental health system, and more so how to deceive it my entire life, i knew what to say and how to say it, which kept me out of the wards even when i was walking around with massive cuts on my arms. You see the problem with lying though is you distort reality, and thats just what i did and […]
I’m chilean sorry if you don’t understand something)
It’s weird because in the morning I was very happy and I go out with a friend and blah blah but now like 30 minutes ago BOOM! I fell in “depresion” I mean I feel like a pity, like a fool again.. I don’t want cutting just I fell like I never do something right and I’ve been liying to everybody of who I am I want to be really happy… Not just for a while
And I have ,during a month, the feeling that the relation with my parents it’s made of plastic.. If […]
i have learned that i am very sadistic. hurting people brings me pleasure, and i really dont know why. i seems like im going down the same path of my fore fathers. it brings exseptional join when its people that are close to me. but still there are some people i dont not nor would not hurt. it only satisfies me for a very brief instant though, later i regret my decision. and i do sincerly feel bad. but still the cycle repeats, until i have no one left. and i really dont want to be this way but on some occasions it seems inevitable.
but […]
My life, as I see it, is a sea without any shore.
I’m 16 years old, God knows if I have high blood pressure and liver disease, I have no money, I dont have the girl that I love and I have the worst relation with my parents.
I’m completely alone. No real friends, family, nothing. Nada.
I dont know if I will get the girl that I love and every other thing will be alright.
I’m from Bangladesh, and this country is a third world country which sucks, and I’m trapped here.
I know many of you here writes sad things that I have no love and no friends […]
These thoughts of suicide are consuming me. So much in fact that last night i dreamt that i had ODed (but didnt die) and i went to a hospital and my friend was there and she asked “Why would you do this?” or something along the lines of that and i replied “School.” (because the pressures of school are whats making me depressed and suicidal) The scary part is that i didnt regret it one bit. I woke up feeling happy because of what i had done in the dream, then i was disappointed when i realized that it was only a dream. I constantly […]
i let everyone down everyday. i feel like i always say i live only to keep the people around me happy but everyone says i have to do things for myself. ive gotten caught up in drugs and i feel like a complete failure. everyone says i need to quit for myself but i dont know how. they wont let me quit unless it is just for me. i got into a fight with my parents the other night and i broke down then came to my other house to get away. i cant help but feel guilty for the pain i put people through […]
Life’s complicated, yes, we all know that. That’s not the only reason we want to do or even try to do what we do.
I feel worthless, stupid, ugly, fat, I feel like a loser, you name it. I felt it all. Being a teenager is a lot more complicated than adults think, especially nowadays. Classes are harder, technology makes it hard to get away from those people we want to get away from, and people are just a lot more cruel. And to those kids who have to do sports and keep grades up, it’s a lot harder than it sounds. Having the responsibilities we […]
I promised I wouldn’t do ‘crazy shit’ to my psychiatrist, but I just can’t hold it anymore. I don’t live my life for me, I live it for them.
But fact is; they don’t care if I’m here, there or gone. My councilor at school is totally lost with me, he doenst know what to do with me, the kids at school ( yeah, they’re kids. freaking childish barbiedolls. I’m turning 19 in less then a month and my class is full with 16 y/o barbies :l ) don’t see me. I will give my parents, my family, my friends rest. My parents will have so […]
Hello my name is Arianna I am 15 years old. I have no reason to live. i hate this I hate all of this. I hate the human beings in this world who make it their job to judge and bully. I hate the models out there that are the pure essence of beauty when they are all bones and skin. I hate the stupid corrupted police system that turns a blind eye to a child being sexually abused because it’ll make their job easier to sit on their lazy asses!
So here I sit in hate with blood dripping from my wrists writing to […]