It’s as if there’s a part of me that rejects happiness.
When I tell myself, “you can do it”
a part of me whispers “you can’t”.
When I tell myself to “Try Again”,
a part of me whispers “Give Up”
When i tell myself “There’s a better tomorrow “,
a part of me whispers “That was supposed to be yesterday”.
When I tell my self “I’m done”
a part of me whispers “Finally”
Depression is not a heavy dissatisfaction with life. It is not a physiological cry for help. It is not an extreme form of sadness. Depression is the result of losing a beloved aspect of one’s life. Whether it’s one’s loved one, or a prized possession, or a concept… the loss of that which is loved causes the depression.
Our identities only fully exist in the hearts of those who care for us. We exist in our own bodies, but who we are is what we place in the consciousnesses of our dearest friends and family. Losing someone that important–or even losing something that important–feels like […]
all i want to do is cut vertically down my wrist and bleed out til i die. i’m nothing, i’m trash. stupid ugly dumb iguana looking *****. i’m nothing more than that i will never become relevant to anybody, and i will never accept myself. i hate existence i don’t understand it.. i don’t want to experience life beyond high school, being dead sounds better. the problem is i don’t have enough courage to kill myself, i’m too much of a coward to take the coward’s way out!! lol i’m such a joke.
Miss me but let me go
When I came to the end of the road and the sun has set for me.
I want no rites in a gloom filled room, Why cry for a soul set free. Miss me a little–but not too long, And not with your head bowed low.
Remember the love that we once shared, Miss me— but let me go.
For this is a journey that we all must take, and each must go alone.
It’s all a part of the Master’s plan, A step on the road to home. When you are lonely and sick of heart, Go to […]
As of today I am 70 days clean of self harm. Its been really hard for me. But these past few days its been the hardest, especially today. I thought I was done with that part of my life . But then again that’s what I said last time.
I’m sitting here looking out this window, watching the world pass by. I see people driving by, working, laughing and holding hands the truth is I feel nothing but emptiness. I feel alone, I feel like a failure, like a nobody. The fucked up part is that I’m staring out this window thinking of you and wondering if I even slightly cross your mind. But I know you aren’t your thinking of yourself, and me I’m thinking of how I failed you. I can’t save you and it’s killing me, I want to die because I’m worthless. It’s over for me because I couldn’t do […]
Everybody’s got something
They had to leave behindÂ
One regret from yesterdayÂ
That just seems to grow with time…
Â
There’s no use in looking back or wonderingÂ
How it could be now or might have beenÂ
All this I know but still I can’t find ways
To let you know
Â
Somewhere in my memoryÂ
I’ve lost all sense of timeÂ
And tomorrow can never beÂ
Because yesterday is all that fills my mind
Â
There’s no use looking back […]
I have what’s known as a Floating Support Worker, who I love dearly. He’s an Oxford graduate (Classics) in his early twenties, he’s doing a Masters in ‘Early Intervention in Psychosis’ at King’s College, London. He’s quite posh – he’s from Wales but has no trace of a Welsh accent. Super intelligent.
I told him I come here, and I told him that I was recently sent a free sample of (supposedly) ******** after an exchange of emails with some guy in India. I took a little just to test it. It tasted foul, but did make me a little groggy. Without a tester kit (you […]
I’ve been thinking for a good part of a long while. I don’t want to live anymore, I’ve made that choice. I’ve only ever felt like this once before, and I overdosed on over the counter pain killers. I woke up covered in my own vomit, and my family found me. I do not want a situation like that again. I want it to be quick, and I want it to be certain. I want to die in my bed. I don’t have many options, and I need to know what to do. Please. Help me.
I’m in two minds when someone asks me if I’m ok. Part of me want’s to say “of course not, do I look like I’m fine?” The other part of me keeps thinking  “wow, someone noticed I’m not ok, maybe I’m not so worthless.” Opinions?
It’s an odd combination for me. It just brings me back to suicideproject, always does. I’ve had ups and downs, times I wanted to live, but also times I wished to die. Regardless of my mood, listening to certain songs always brings me back to that peacefull place in my head. The same part of me that is constantly weighing life against death. The same part that brings me here..
Do you guys have songs like that? songs that just hit through everything and play with your soul?
some say it’s all hard work.
I say “willingness to work hard is part of genes”
Human species are just some random combinations of chemicals. No one knows the parameters considered in that combination ( may be the time your parents did “it” or mental state of your parents while doing “it” or the food your mom eaten in her earlier days or the pollution rate in the country,  perhaps combination of infinite parameters)
I call that combination as luck.
The set of problems we have are not real, they all part of chemical reactions in brain
Ex:
if you throw an apple iphone it broke and it remain broken: that is […]
If this is how humans live on this planet, I don’t want to be part of it.
My conscience says that our life can be way better. Each human that sprouts on this earth is special. And has right to get all things that human race developed till now. But it’s not happening.
The first and foremost one must do ” strive for intelligent human beings on earth”. Â or at least let dumb ones know the fact ” He is dumb and don’t deserve to extend his genre”
intelligent: If problems comes, find a best or innovative solution that no one had thought.Â
dumb: If problems comes, suicide or a poetic […]
I’ve been thinking of suicide frequently ever since junior high, Â and I’ve also been thinking lately that I just don’t want to be happy or content. In part, I just can’t imagine myself as a happy, smiling person; it actually makes me uncomfortable. I would need to change so much about myself, and part of me even hates happy, optimistic people. It seems like I would always be wearing a mask. I’ll list a few other thoughts as numbered points:
Being serious and unemotional makes me feel more in control of day to day situations. I’m worried that acting friendly would invite too many people who […]
I have fucking everything
I wear namebrand makeup
guys who wanna talk to me
decent car,money,looks,young big boobs pathetic ass *****
I have struggled with addiction,depression,low self esteem,family issues,loss,grief etc for the better part of my life.I have attempted to take my life a few times,most times not truly wanting to die,was more of a cry for help.A year or so ago my best friend commited suicide,it was a very hard thing to deal with,it hurt very much.I always think of the way that he did it,i think that is how i want to go as well.Last year on x mas eve,i received some news that was rather bothersome to me,it hurt me deeply.I turned to alcohol,for the most part ive been clean for 10 years,the […]
I feel numb.
I feel so sad.
I need time, and I need life.
I hate being alone, but I’m always on my own.
Loneliness has become part of me, it’s always near,
I’m afraid of it, but I let myself embrace in it,
I want this to go, It really fucks me up.
Older Posts