Ok, so I read a bunch of posts to day and it seems like many of you are angry and are enjoying calling people assholes (haha I love it). People seem to think that it’s not ok to get angry… that it’s not ok to express your frustration at a situation or at some dickhead who is ruining your day for no apparent reason other than his dickheadedness. So, lemme say this: if you have a justafiable reason to be angry, LET IT OUT. Don’t try and suffocate your true feelings with rainbows and carebears; grab your bat, swing at some trees, scream some fantabulous […]
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I feel less suicidal, being nothing.
I am not a student, not an employee, not a daughter, not part of society. Not glum, not unattractive, not any other adjective.
I feel better when I am not obliged to fake emotions. I dont mind being alone anymore. Can I just float through the days, just for awhile?
Can I stop identifying myself as my experiences? Can I stop feeling ashamed for having not accomplished anything? Can I stop identifying as a human, and just wander through Time as nothing, just for a little while?
I’ve been feeling unwanted lately. I feel like no one cares. Although I try to convince myself that I am all I need, it never works because it’s not true. I just need to know that someone cares, someone actually appreciates my existence. I want to wake up one day and actually be glad I am alive. Be glad that I am living. Sadly everyday feels the same for me. Feel like I’m begging people to be in my life. I’m begging for support. Seems like I’m begging for everything. It’s difficult having no one around. I’m always there for people, sad part is no […]
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
I lived with this disease for many years and have yet to achieve peace. I have been able to hide it from many people by pushing them away when it gets bad. I want to leave so badly to make it all end, but I don’t have it in me (yet) to leave my young son. I know my wife is planning on leaving me and due to my condition, she will get full custody. I am not really sure what to do. Part of me wants to pack a bag & head somewhere to make it all go away and the other part is […]
I’m stuck again… this time, I no longer feel the satisfaction I used to feel. Nothing seems good to me… watching a movie or TV show doesn’t satisfy… doesn’t distract me from what’s going on inside.
The scariest part, not even food tastes the same…
I wish I could find some relief… but I don’t know where to go… I’m not sure what to do.
The worst part? This is all my fault… I screwed up again…
I wish I were dead. Or maybe that I never existed… maybe then I wouldn’t hurt so many people.
It’s over.
I won’t deny it
I’m so sorry
I hurt you
I did so many things
Not all of them good
You have every right
You should
I never said sorry
I’m so afraid
I’m so sorry
I can’t leave
I wish you happiness
Everything I couldn’t give
All I ever tried
Every little part of me
They all died
I wish could understand
I wish I could be yours
And You could be mine
You’re beautiful
I’m ugly
On the inside
You are free
Please don’t cry
Please don’t say goodbye
But most of all
Don’t you lie
And say you want
To see me tomorrow
What is it that keeps dragging me back to this point, wondering whether it’s worth living?
In short, fear. My constant companion, though it fluctuates. Sometimes the intense panic of social anxiety. Others the restless despair of a perceived future. It gnaws away in the back of my mind when I try to relax or enjoy myself. It chases me through my dreams.
It is always there, telling me that something is terribly wrong, requiring all my attention – that nothing else can be enjoyed until it is resolved.
So, what is it that I’m so afraid of? At route, it’s that who I am is fundamentally unacceptable to other […]
I wonder now if it is impossible to kill the darkest part of yourself. I want nothing more than to murder the other part of myself, but sadly it is intertwined with the part of me that by necessity must live. My constant struggle continues in a blur of rage and suicidal desire. What is probably the saddest part of this tale is that I cannot simply “TALK” to someone about this. It’s not like I don’t know how to convey the emotions, or how to tell someone what is going on with me, it is more like an infection. I know better than anyone […]
once upon a time
… there was a girl , soo confident one , passionate , strong , powerful , attractive , with a SMILE upon her face all the time … she was drawing on a wall … drawing a TREE and a CROW …
listening to Breaking Benjamin “Had Enough” song named …
a guy … we’re staring at her .. with an idiot look .. looked soo stupid to her ,, and she didn’t care …
then she had a cup of coffee with him and few friends .. he was a friend of hers .. he tried to impress her .. so he said he […]
I’m from Turkey, shithole country. Everyday news full of rape, theft, explosions, etc… I’m so tired of being part of this bullshit. This country full of crazy religious muslims who will try to kill or beat you if you’re not one of them. I’m not stupid, i’m reading book all day but what for? Waiting someone to kill me or going jail for my thoughts? 21. century is just rubbish. I don’t wanna be part of this life but i can’t kill myself. Because i feel like i haven’t completed somethings or just i’m animal who follow his instincts. I sold my xbox and guitar […]
It’s almost time to get spooky! This is one of the only holiday that makes me happy. I’m being Steven from SU.. SO PUMPED!
I’ll continue my story. Each part at its own time. What is your favorite Halloween movie? (Nightmare before Christmas for me 🙂
Hello. How are you?
I have a bit of another social problem. See, I have self-harmed for a long time, and I know how to deal with in. i.e. hiding the scars, dealing with the problems on your own, making sure no body finds out. That kind of deal. I’ve sat on that side of the fence for a long, long time – then I just left the park entirely.
It seems I have entered into someone else’s park, but I’m sitting on the other side of the fence. Today I discovered the cuts on a friend’s wrists. I say friend, its a very loose term […]
Just read this article that said they are making a Death Cafe. So I looked this up and it’s when people gather at a cafe to discuss death. Any topic related to it is ok apparently.
Quote from an article, “The pop-up events, which happen in American cities in nearly every state and in nations across six continents, are part of a volunteer-led, grassroots movement to get people from all walks of life to talk candidly about their views and experiences regarding dying.”
Apparently the UK is getting a permenant one.
So has anyone gone to one of these?
It’s like a horrible nightmare I can never seem to wake up from. It haunts me, and just when I think its gone, it comes creeping back. I run, and run, but it always catches me. No distance or time is long enough. It’s become a part of me. A cluster fuck of emotions I can’t even being to sort through. It’s almost cruel the way my mind works. It keeps me up at all hours and taunts me till I’m banging my head against the walls, or better yet, till I have that scissors, knife, or razor blade pressed sharply against my skin. I […]
It’s so hard for me to stay strong. I’ve been struggling with my depression for 5 years now. But last week, my friend killed herself, and now I feel like it’s okay for me to do it as well. It really triggered me. I go onto her facebook page multiple times a day and read all of the messages people have sent her. It’s like once you’re dead, people start caring about you. Right now I’m torn between wanting to die and wanting to live. For the past few days I’ve been doing some research about train suicides and suicide by hanging. I found out […]
40 cigarettes a day
2g of coke a week
a lot of weed a month
Countless bottles a month
The fucked up part, is that i’m not feeling sad… i really don’t care about me
Sometimes i still think about ending myself
I feel like i embraced my misery… i’ve accepted myself
As the fucking piece of shit that i am
the saddest part: you don’t understand and I would never want you to be able to, because this, this type of sadness is like drowning beneath the waves in water that is two feet deep and all you have to do is stand up to save yourself, but you just can’t.
Hey everyone. 🙂
I know it isn’t long since I last posted, but it feels like much longer. Over the past few days I’ve been really wanting to write a post again. I’ve managed to write emails but when it came to writing something here I haven’t been able to. Most of this will be things I’ve said before, but I wanted to get them off my chest again.
I feel that my mental state is stagnating, although I still think meditation is helping. The same goes for keeping in touch with a couple of people from the site – it definitely helps to talk to people. […]
Hi all, Thanx for welcoming me! Actually I was little apprehensive to be the part of this community being a non American/ european (not because I am mentally, emotionally fit 😉 )…