Tag:

person

tell me to get help, but no one will help me.

by onlyoption 2/19/2015

written by onlyoption

life is killing me. for the last 3 years i’ve held it sort of together but I have no strength anymore- mentally emotionally or even physically.

the man who abused me 3 years ago is the only person who understands how and why im broken- hes the one who did this. i hate with such contempt the only person who ‘gets me’.

The kid I loved like a brother, depended on him to keep preaching how everything will be okay, that one day I can go home where there’s no sadness, well he gave up, said he cant help me anymore.

my mum said i’m making […]

2/19/2015 2 comments

I hate this so much

by kisumi 2/19/2015

written by kisumi

I wanted to keep trying and i wanted to live, but i literally can’t anymore. Im just a hollow shell of whoever i used to be. I thought that maybe i could be somebody, but i should have known better. Im nothing but a failure. I just want to be able to finally reach happiness i guess.

I don’t know how long I can even go on now. Everything anyone says just hurts to hear and I just want to be able to be strong, but I’m pretty sure thats just an unrealistic dream.

Everyone around me expects so much and they just say ‘Be happy!’ and […]

2/19/2015 1 comment

I am, I am, I am……going to commit suicide.

by Boris123 2/19/2015

written by Boris123

I am a coward. I am weak. I am a dick. I am an asshole. I am a nobody. I am a wanna be. I am a disappointment. I am hopeless. I am useless. I am alone. I am not worthy of this life. I am nothing. I am just a person who tries to do good and become better and no one even notices it. Nobody cares and nobody has cared. I don’t belong. And lastly, I am going to commit suicide soon. I know I keep saying this but each post I make signifies how close I am to commiting suicide.

2/19/2015 4 comments

Hold

by Matt 2/18/2015

written by Matt

isnt it scary how one person can have such a hold over you??

i wanted to sleep tonight but my mind wouldnt rest, so i went through all my text conversations from months ago.

ive long since deleted our text histories, along with your number. i wish i hadnt, i miss the cute things we said to each other when one of us was down

i honestly dont know where things stand with us. i dont know whether you hate me, or if you just think youre giving me space until im better. either way, youre not here and youre really the only person i want to talk […]

2/18/2015 1 comment

Want to go back

by confused31 2/16/2015

written by confused31

I’m on Zoloft. I started when I went to the children’s part of the peninsula hospital. Is there something wrong with me? Is wanting to go back there bad? I was good for maybe a week after I left and now ever since then I’ve just wanted to go back. What else can I do. Life sucks even though any other person would love my life. Everyone talks about how perfect my life is and I’m just ‘acting’ sad and depressed for more attention. Just because my life seems perfect doesn’t mean it is. My life should be perfect. I have everything I need but […]

2/16/2015 2 comments

scars

by maxwell 2/15/2015

written by maxwell

We all have our own stories some may be worse than others but Every scar that buries deep within my skin holds its own story, every one of them shows a victory, its showing that I have won yet another battle with life, so why hate me and judge me for what lies on my arm, you don’t judge a soldier for a battle wound or scars because he got that fighting a war for his life, I did the same thing I have won a war for my life and these are the wounds and scars that have been left behind for me to […]

2/15/2015 2 comments

I don’t know anymore

by notanymore 2/15/2015

written by notanymore

I don’t know what to do anymore and I could use some advice or something. On January 18 my boyfriend left me. He was the only reason I had to keep going. He was my only happiness in the mess I call a life. We had been together for four months. We’re both in high school- he’s a senior and I’m a junior. He just moved here from another state and has been through a similar but far worse past. We understood each other, or I thought we did. We were good for each other. The last month we were together my medications changed. I […]

2/15/2015 1 comment

i give u permission to take it out on me

by cathy arsis 2/14/2015

written by cathy arsis

it seems lately there’s been alot of angst on this site….i think it can be theraputic for some people to take their anger out on ppl they dont know…..so here’s a few things i hate about myself, for obvious reasons;

1. i’m a fatist…i dont like really fat people, like 400lbs or over….i only weigh 95-100lbs bc my depression gives me a total lack of appetite, so i cant understand why people can let themselves go like that….i know it’s wrong of me to think this way, but i do…….

2. sometimes i lie to my family members for money to spend on things that are unhealthy […]

2/14/2015 8 comments

Buried alive

by nozmoking 2/14/2015

written by nozmoking

I’ve always had two insurmountable fears. First is the fear of drowning, and second is the fear of being buried alive. When I was a kid I was deathly afraid of dying in a falling elevator but I outgrew that for some reason. Lately though I have been feeling like I have been buried alive. Trapped in a dark, silent coffin in a concrete burial vault beneath six feet of cold, hard dirt. I can kick, I can scream until my tonsils bleed (oh wait, I don’t have any tonsils), I can pound and scratch until my fingers are bloodied and all that I can […]

2/14/2015 2 comments

to ryder and uwillnever….

by cathy arsis 2/13/2015

written by cathy arsis

as u already know, i havent tried to contact anyone in ur family, nor am i planning to…i seriously considered doing this, but please believe me when i say there was no maliceficent intent whatsoever….and now that i realize how stupid this would be of me i swear to you i never will..i was just really concerned about u guys because i’ve read all your posts and u seem like such tourtured and sad ppl, and ppl such as yourselves, with all the great things about u, i really wanted the ppl that love u to know what ur going thru…..but that’s not my decision […]

2/13/2015 6 comments

by cathy arsis 2/11/2015

written by cathy arsis

A Catharsis is an emotional discharge through which one can achieve a state of moral or spiritual renewal or achieve a state of liberation from anxiety and stress. Catharsis is a Greek word and it means cleansing.
In literature it is used for the cleansing of emotions of the characters. It can also be any other radical change that leads to emotional rejuvenation of a person.

Originally, the term was used as a metaphor in Poetics by Aristotle to explain the impact of tragedy on the audiences. He believed that catharsis was the ultimate end of a tragic artistic work and it […]

2/11/2015 4 comments

any one of you can have my gun…

by xxxgunns 2/11/2015

written by xxxgunns

If it is to keep your life. No warning, i’m pulling a major trigger tonight. Last year 2014 (i know its hard to remember that passed) on september 11th as survivor of war left her suicide note here. Her note ended in the most hurtful self loathing lie that anyone could tell themself. This person’s handle here was trippylikenirvana. The tale she tells so clearly of her most early traumas are left to haunt us not by the images they bring forth in our minds, but by the utter cloud of confusion that formed around her after. This woman experienced a trauma early in life […]

2/11/2015 1 comment

Optimistic

by Skeleton100 2/10/2015

written by Skeleton100

I haven’t posted on here in a while…my last note was sort of melodramatic. A lot has happened since then. I won’t delve into it.

I think I might have an answer. An answer to my depression, my self-harm, my self-consciousness. For years I haven’t felt comfortable in public, around other people. I’ve felt like a giraffe in a group of flamingos. Weird analogy, I know.

I’m a teen female, by the way. But for a while I’ve identified as more androgynous. I haven’t expressed this feeling openly (my family isn’t really open-minded). I feel more confident wearing gender-neutral/transmasculine clothing. But put me in bright tops, and…I’d fucking faint […]

2/10/2015 2 comments

please help me?

by joles4 2/10/2015

written by joles4

Hello, I am new here.. I’m really not too sure if anyone will see this but it is my only shot.

Since I was younger, I haven’t really had any friends. I have always tried to sit next to a group of people, but I have never fit. I seem off hanging with other people. I try to seem not lonely, but it doesn’t work. I have been bullied for 5 years, by people I have never spoken to, i really wish i was intelligent as the other people at my school, but i’m not.

a lot of people talk behind my back, and I’m really not […]

2/10/2015 12 comments

Even Now

by Lalice 2/9/2015

written by Lalice

I yearned for death as a child and adolescent. I hurt myself relentlessly, but could never muster up the courage to actually end it. I’ve escaped the life that was forced on me, the people who hurt me, the person that I was because of it all, but I still find myself anxious for death. I will be driving and have to fight the impulse to let go of the wheel or to jerk it in the direction of oncoming traffic. I will allow myself to close my eyes when I am tired and attempt to fall asleep while I’m still driving. I will imagine […]

2/9/2015 2 comments

The matrix

by shygal79 2/8/2015

written by shygal79

Hey, I’m pretty fed up right now.

I never talk about me, I suppose in that sense I’m a bit of a martyr, always trying to please others and sacrificing my own life in the running. Im pretty lonely if honest, I have 3 children, and a partner. But I’m not happy, I have no lust for life.

Ive always been cheeky and outgoing, and flirtatious but straight talking, I’ve never played games with people. I’ve always cared for everyone and I feel like I think differently from others.

It’s like I’m in an alternate world at times, were my views and values in life are completely different to others […]

2/8/2015 2 comments

Just trying to…

by quaero 2/8/2015

written by quaero

Maybe I can’t do it. I know my soul. It gets satisfaction only in degradation. I just want to rot. I think that’s because I have seen the end, traveled the farthest . There is nothing left for me to know. And I know it’s all futile. And it doesn’t prompt me to suicide; it only prevents me from finding a positive, satisfying motivation in doing anything that’s beneficial for me. And that would be all good and satisfying, i would be very happy in rotting, if there wasn’t this constant pressure, this sense of obligation that i feel towards my family. I just can’t make […]

2/8/2015 1 comment

by LetItGo 2/7/2015

written by LetItGo

as i stand in the shower with you absent
i wish that all the fucking memories would wash away and go down the drain
i wish that all the pain and emotions would drain out of me
so i couldn’t feel this bittersweet emotion
my body still craves you
like you’re my fucking drug
but my mind knows that you’re so shitty
and bad for me
and i shouldn’t keep up this addiction to your love and affection
but i fucking cant because you’re the only fucking person
the only fucking person that tells me sweet nothings at 2AM when im so fucking vulnerable
you […]

2/7/2015 0 comment

I feel so selfish…

by JustLauren 2/5/2015

written by JustLauren

Sometimes I can’t help but think that depression is such a selfish thing. A logical part in my brain tells me that ‘it’s a chemical imbalance’, but the self-hating part of me tells me I’m a horrible person. I mean, there are starving people out there, people without homes. I have a home (though sometimes I struggle to pay rent) and I don’t usually starve, though I am now. No money to pay bills and pay for food and whatnot. But anyhow, that’s really the extent of my worries. Money and some life decisions I’ve made recently. And I know my poor upbringing doesn’t help […]

2/5/2015 2 comments

It’s all about the money

by depressednihilist95 2/5/2015

written by depressednihilist95

Well, it looks like my psychiatrist is going out of business, as if mental health wasn’t already underfunded enough. I don’t know if anyone who worked at the place will start up a business here. I guess wealth and a great education go hand in hand, so maybe those doctors can form a new business, or maybe I’ll just be on my own from here on out. At any rate, nothing has really changed. I’m still bitter and I barely leave my room. I still have no friends because people make me contemplate the ultimate futility and disillusionment I feel when pursuing relationships. Plus, another […]

2/5/2015 0 comment

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