I posted the story of my father’s suicide and follow-up on my blog at www.pathwayseol.com. Having experienced 10 suicides of family and friends in my life, suicide became an option, a dark friend, during dark times, and that provided the strength to hold on since I did not want to leave that legacy. The good news is using this experience and knowledge has allowed me to be present without judgment in my work as a nurse, in hospice and now in end of life education. My focus is educating, especially when working with those with a progressive illness. Respond to the fears, provide a way to […]
My kind of suicide isn’t suicide at all, as funny as that may sound.
The way I see it is that I don’t have to take my own life, life will take it for me. All I have to do is live. I mean, even if I get stricken with cancer I can be thankful I won’t live to an old age where I’m helpless, just get it over with. That’s worth the pain I think. I’ve seen an old friend die of cancer, in comparison to other ways one can go out, it didn’t seem that bad the way it hit him quick. And […]
So sorry Syria,
It’s your turn now to suffer the relentless war machine we have created. This was never the “dream” of the people, but some one pressed the bottom and now the machine is unstoppable.
Our collective hands are in the air and our perspective noses are back to the floor, our febel eyes rolled back with our stubborn feet kicking pebbles in our absence of helpful words for reasoning.
“I guess..I guess..well idk!”
If we had control over ourselves..idk!
If we really believed in a better world for…idk!
And if we could change things for tomorrow […]
DON’T YOU DARE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zJxgrSCZJ1s
Before you decide to take your life, imagine who will find you. Imagine them walking into a room, and seeing you just hanging there. Whether it be your little sister, little brother, mother, father, grandparents, a friend. Imagine what will happen when they find you. No, they will not say “Finally, they’re gone.†No, they will not say “I’m happy they did that.†No, they will not say “I never loved them anyways.†They will die. Their hearts will […]
I want to know whether people actually share the same perspective of life like mine. Open for discussions. No arguments please, I respect all your opinions. I just want to know how many thinks the same way, I dont try to impose anything. Thank you.
1. After a while of trying and failing, you start wondering if the problem is your own self.
2. The God of this human world is money.
3. Humans are all trash. They say good things, say they love and care, but then they lie, they scheme, they betray, they backstab. Humans try to blame it on the evil but THEY are the […]
So, it’s my Birthday again tomorrow; I’ll be 23. Ever get the feeling of deja vu? Nothing seems to change, aside from an increasing feeling of isolation and a decreasing feeling of motivation for life. I don’t feel human anymore. I don’t want to be alive, I cannot see a way out of my isolation apart from death. Of course, this would seem rather over-dramatic from an outside perspective, from those “just get over it, cheer up!” types. However, for almost a decade now I have had no friends, no connection with others and no affection. I won’t pretend I’m not bitter, because I am, […]
I had a lazy day just on my laptop today, and have been watching/ reading about things that fascinate me.
The main topic that caught my eye was the theories and thoughts surrounding solipsism and realism.
Solipsism is the thought/ belief that you are the only real thing. That the people you know, the information you’ve learned about history and research going on is just information ‘created’ for you (as if you’re in the matrix kind of idea).
Realism is that things exist whether you are here or not, and realism states that your perception of reality and the things that happen are false to […]
One good reason to live?.. i don’t see one, i just don’t desire life anymore much like anyone who knows the feeling of constant loneliness, it is never ending no matter how hard you try. I’ve been trying to “be happy” for the past few months only because this girl who i could’ve called my best friend was telling me there are reasons to be happy.. Note i am also inlove with her… Or was atleast, i have no idea where that stands but that was the last thing i cared about. Now that its gone? I really couldn’t tell you what i plan do to […]
i wish i can drink alcohols and get drunk, forget everything for a while.. but i cant really drink it.. i always puke.. wish i can sleep all day and hav beautiful dreams instead thinking of how miserable my life is.. i hate my parents i hate my brother i hate my environment i hate my life i hate everything.. my parents sucks.. they always see things different than wad i see,, and their financial sucks too make it worse.. i always see tht im less than my brother.. its not like im comparing myself to him.. but the fact tht he went to expensive […]
I hate who I am. I don’t have reason or cause to, except for, I am me. I don’t like it one bit. If there were a chance I could, just for one day, cease to exist, i’d grasp that chance tight and will it to come true. Forget trying to remember how I’m supposed to smile, how i’m supposed to laugh, how i’m supposed to look, how i’m supposed to be. and for a moment, I’ll close my eyes, and cease to exist. For a moment, I’ll be happy, for a moment I’ll be glad to be me. But this is reality, a place […]
I am a dreamer, I admit. I am not always realistic. That’s a fact. I followed my dreams. I was never afraid to chase after the crazy ideas in my head. The processes has been painful. I have failed again and again, yet managed to slip by. I watch as my grades hit catastrophic lows and my social life deteriorates. All of my dreams are slipping through my fingers. Why can’t I do what everyone else can? I am intelligent. I am creative. I have endless possibilities. …But that’s all they’ll ever be… possibilities. While I could write a poem that would bring you to […]
have a read – if anything, at least you’ll get a laugh:
http://www.gq.com/blogs/the-feed/2013/02/how-the-shit-my-dad-says-dad-celebrates-valentines-day.html
If you can’t love yourself, how can you expect others to love you?
lover dawg
PS – i’m single/available 😉
I still want to kill myself but there’s a few people around me who care. And I don’t want to satisfy the people who hate me cos it means they win. I live like a dog, I wake up each morning and survive. As much as I don’t think like an animal, I have the same existence as one. Blind people who’re totally blind that is, don’t seem to have as much success as most partially blind and sighted people in this fucker of a world. Some sighted people don’t have success, but it seems that the majority of people with disabilities are less successful […]
The needle for your soul and the steel and concrete for your body: double-barreled hell. It is known as desolation unknown. And yet, somehow, I don’t know how, it is known. From this perspective, it would be rather nice to have my brains blown out. So I used self torture as a focus to distract from desolation unknown, my only rule was: do not tear the skin. I urinated on my feet to keep them warm, but at least I had urine. Because after two days, I was given water. It makes very little difference if you are on the inside or if you are […]
OK, I have a question. Yesterday, im-worthless made a post called “The other side” asking what people thought about the afterlife. I responded saying no one knows, but there is no logical reason based on what we do know about consciousness to think it’s anything other than eternal oblivion.
Now, I’m sticking by what I said then. That said, this does raise a number of other philosophical questions that have really been troubling me for years.
I’m very evidence minded, and I find the believability of a claim is closely linked to the strength of the evidence supporting it. If there is no evidence for something, it […]
I was just thinking. Why do people guilt trip over cutting themselves?
Who the fuck cares what other people think? (Well, maybe that’s more of my perspective.) It’s non-lethal, it hurts less than getting a tattoo, you just don’t get a pretty picture at the end. I mean, for pain itself, there would be constructive and productive things to do like yoga, or running till your legs give out, that hurt a lot more than some scrapes. The intensity of pain you feel from pushing your bodily limits are usually a lot worse than the actual act of cutting. If you consistently need stitches and […]
since i’m already here might as well vent out a little bit. maybe some input may give me a bit more perspective instead of using the option of death to calm me down.
turned 24 last month, introverted, depressed for the past 10 years or so, finding it difficult fitting in the modern world and i find it difficult to connect with people and a deeper level. i feel so detached from everything and everyone. i’m more often than not, isolated from the “real” world and watching other people live their lives to the fullest is making me wonder why i can’t do the same thing. […]
Please read my entire post before commenting…
My whole life has been me slipping in and out of depression, so I know what it’s like finally feel renewed and pull out of depression. That said, I’ve never felt this bad before about myself… it’s unprecedented for me to feel THIS bad. You know how people say they’ve hit rock bottom? Well, to give you perspective, I feel like rock bottom was the thing that hit me on the head, that’s how low I am.
So what happened to get me this low? It’s a list of things that have piled on me. 1) I only have $30 […]
Ever just watch pet fish? Watch them swim around in their bowl? Wonder if they are unhappy swimming in circles, seeing the same things, eating the same things, doing the same things? Does my fish, Flex, even know that my other fish, Murs, is in the bowl with him? Does he even notice the rainbow I put in their to help give them some scenery and something to swim through. Just like school, jobs, and sports are just thrown into the world to give us something to do. The flowers, trees, and ‘mystical wonderlands’ are just scenery to spice up the fact that we are just living in a bowl. Oh, and that fish next to you […]
Five years ago I lost the best job I ever had.  I worked there for 18 years and just like that I was out. I can’t let go of the past. I think about that job everyday. Random events remind me of that job and it makes me cry. I don’t know what to do with myself. I really need help but I don’t know how to get it. I see a psychiatrist once a week but he’s nothing more than a pill pusher. What I need is someone to talk to – really talk to. Someone who can help me put my life in […]
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