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Pig
I made an earlier post. You can click it here: http://suicideproject.org/2013/06/200363/
In there, it sounded like everything was great in my life and in my past. I think I should shed some light on that. Everything started when I was five years old.
My grandmother was a terrible woman and I was her latest punching bag. She had done this to my father and was now doing it to me. She would hit me, humiliate me, insult me, and other things as well.
I remember her always calling me trailer trash, no matter what I did or wore. Sometimes, I wasn’t allowed to finish a whole […]
Sure, I’d LOVE to talk to someone about my problems. Simply LOVE to.
by OddOneOut
written by OddOneOut
But who’s gonna listen? You? You, the one who comes up to me with a sickly sweet voice saying “What’s wrong?”, and when I tell you, all you have to say is “You need some help, go talk to someone!” before walking the fuck away. That’s the sort of shit that makes people like me NOT talk, you inconsiderate son of a *****.
Everyday, every night, I’m looking. Looking all around me, at my Facebook account, at my Skype, at my phone contacts book, at my god damn life. And always wondering, “Who’s ever gonna listen to me?”.
No-one, that’s who. And the ironic thing is […]
I’m sick of all the looks and the secrets and the disapproval , I want a friend who knows me and can accept me, but no, there’s only stupid judgemental people, he’s fat he must eat like a pig, he corrected me he must think he’s fucking better than me.
I can’t do anything right, I try to help my brother and sister patch things up, end up getting him estranged entirely, I wish I was older so I could just leave and start again. Not that I could actually do that, I’d lose my anchors and then I’d end it.
Which may not be […]
I sit here eating .. like a pig. Ive already eaten two burriotos, chow mein and now icecream.. and yet im still hungery. I’ve tried to puke up my food but i never have the balls. And i’ve tried to go with out eating but all it does when i finally eat is make me look like a bigger big then i already am. Im 14 and wieght 125pounds and i hate it. Everyone says its fine. That thats a normal weight.. but when u look at the other girls AT SCHOOl at their all 105 and TALLER then you .. you know your fat. […]
Ok, Let me first tell you, what prompted me to look up this website today, and vent out my frustration . I’ve been having suicidal thoughts for the past 3 years.
Having been a remarkable student all my life, something happened 3 years ago, that all of a sudden, you can even say, overnight, turned me into a loser! Its not a specific incident or anything, but I’d even move over to the occult and say I’ve been struck by bad luck. My performance academically started dripping, my concentration levels started dwindling, nothing that I wanted, even with all my sincerity and hard work, I got. […]
I’m starting to gain weight! I know that so many females (and some males) would dread this, but I can’t tell you how happy it makes me!
Before my life took a turn for the worse, I use to eat like a pig. I’d have up to 5th servings for everything and just seem to not stop eating. I’d exercise most of it off, but I was still large for my age. During the time when my depression was at it’s highest, I basically stopped eating and started trying to exercise a lot. As a result, I lost nearly half my body weight. Even as I started getting […]
Suicide thoughts creeping in again and again.
They wont escape from my dark mind. I fucking hate this eating disoder.
I hate it, it’s taking over my life and I keep denying it. I know it’s true.
Wake up and the first thought is:should I eat? No you fucking pig you shouldn’t
I isolate from everyone and everything. I
I wouldn’t have to live with this stuff if I just died. Shit, If i had drugs I’d shoot them up…
I just had one, simply because someone else posted something moronic on their facebook. Some bible quote:
Ye are the salt of the earth: but if the salt have lost his savour, wherewith shall it be salted? it is thenceforth good for nothing, but to be cast out, and to be trodden under foot of men
My thoughts were like this; that is right, I am trash, I am going to be trodden upon, because I have no savour, and I can’t fight for myself, I’m horrible and pathetic and damaged, with no morals, no motivation, no drive.
Its like pearls before swine, and I am swine. A […]
Ok, so I want to talk about the first (and only) suicide attempt I’ve ever made. It took place about a year ago. It was a pretty fucked up time in my life, as I’d just gotten my 2nd DUI and almost at the same time I was breaking up with my girlfriend. I was so in love with this girl I won’t even bother to elaborate on it, as it would probably make most people sick. That said, I was on my way to work one morning shortly after I’d gotten out of jail, and recieved a call from my ex. As we were […]