im in my room with a razor and a crap load of pills 🙁 my only thought which to do first.
Tag:
Pills
I woke up with a masive head
I woke up with vomit around me
I looked up and saw my mom giving me a mop
I cleaned my mess
Last Night I took a whole bottle of advil with some ibeprofen
Last Year I started to be “different”
Friday Septemember 28 I found out that i was eligbue to be in a school for talented “Special” Kids
Yesterday I found out i can pay to be in that school
Today I wish I took more pills
I hate being 12 years old
Tonight I am 12 years old and 5 months and some days old
Tonight I might end it
Tonight I may take some pills
Tonight I will probably get chronic organ disorders
Tonight I cut Myself
Tonight I dream about Happiness
Tomarrow I will wake up fine or with regret
In a week I will be in school, Sad with mixed emotions
In a mouth my good friends will be my worst enimes
In a year I will be closer to death
In a life time I will be dead, Happy
But
Tonight I will be dreaming about Ethan, oh how I love him,he is […]
Suicide I Can Never Complete
My empty blue eyes can see no way out,
My soul keeps on screaming but no one can hear,
Life is my prison and I can’t break out,
But I try, and try, and try.
The brightest colors no longer exist,
Black and grey is all there’s left now,
You try to reach out,
But I’m too far away now.
Don’t say that I’m smart,
And don’t call me beautiful,
Even if you mean it,
I can’t tell the difference between truth and a lie.
I’ll drown in the tears I can no longer cry,
And I’ll swallow the pills I can never […]
The round colorful combination is deadly
Tomorrow this will all be through.
Finally an end to my torment
They’d understand if only they knew
Raising the glass and I open my hand…
The thoughts of loved flash through my head
I drop the pills to the floor
It’d kill tomorrow if today I was dead.
Upstairs working on the computer
An electric shock as I look at the plug
The reaction is deadly assisted with water
rising my little brother  tackles me with a hug.
I sit back down grimace him a smile.
I can’t kill myself infront of my brother
He’d be dissappointed if he knew this is all he had for a sister
I could not bear his […]
So there I was, a couple days back – sitting alone thinking oncemore about how shitty my life is (I’m in my 20’s, have a university degree, but no one will give me a job, im lacking in major social skills and have never had a GF – still a virgin and havent had any friends for years). 90% of my time outside of my house has been to the Doctor or my Therapist.
To digress, I’m sitting here and decide to “take some pills” (i wont detail everything). I take a few (slightly more than Ive done before just when Ive felt bad), then I […]
I just discovered this website and reading some of ya’ll’s posts called out to me and made me want to write stuff down. So why not do it for you people, someone who gets what im going through.
In less than 2 months I’ll be 22 years old. I’ve been thinking about suicide since i was 12. Depression and anxiety have been a part of my life since I was a baby. I remember being 4 or 5 years old, and feeling anxious and unsafe all the time. I grew up in a home where fighting, co-dependency, depression and hysteria was considered normal so I didn’t […]
What do you do when it hurts so bad,
Hardly breathin..
Did some body arts..it’s bleedin..but i can’t feel the pain..no matter how many cuts i made..
Numb..
Pills…to knock me out.
Fallin apart.. cryin myself to sleep..
Hey, anyone who’s a little interesting in this stranger. I already wrote something saying that I was thinking about killing myself and also talking about my own life. Anyway, I’ve decide to leave the world but I can’t. I’m so angry right now. I can’t kill myself. I was thinking in committing suicide by carbon monoxide poisoning.  I can’t because my parents, aunt or grandparents could see me. I thought committing suicide by taking too much pills (my original plan). Then I felt really retarded when I notice that wasn’t as easy as I thought. I don’t want any suffer so I’m not going by hanging, wrist cutting, suffocation, hypothermia, electrocution, […]
I’m exhausted. I’ve come to believe that there are people put on this earth that are meant to struggle throughout their lives. They are the ones that we look at in their 80’s and say…oh but she/he worked soo hard, did what they could, just couldn’t catch a break, but never complained, just went to work did what they had to do…. yeah well, I’m 42 years old, been divorced for 4 years now, I have 2 children remaining with me, my oldest is 19, has moved with his father and hates and refuses to speak to me bc of the divorce. I went […]
I dont think this world is worth it. Living in all this pain. Im bisexual, apparently “Emo” as i get called at school. Nobody accepts me for who i am.Not even my mother. She always has stuff to say about who i am and about my friends. She says she wont lower her standards for us. She doesnt know im bi. Like who the hell said she needed to lower her standards for anyone. .I dont want to live in this hell anymore. Im thinking of suicide or running away. The easiest way i can think of is just a large cocktail on pills in […]
I’m a fifteen year old girl in the 10th grade and I have never felt so miserable in my entire life. I’m tired of being that optimistic girl that fakes a smile for the sake of everyone else. Most of my friends know about my depression but they think I’m okay at the moment. Last night I was almost positive I wanted to die, but instead of acting on the instinct to kill myself, I just lied in bed shaking and crying. I could never tell my mom that I feel like I want to die sometimes because it would either break her heart or […]
Let me tell you bout my month yall
Endless shoppin’, I had a ball
I had to ball for therapy
My shrink don’t think that helps at all
Whatever, that man aint wearin’ these leather pants
I diagnosed my damn self, these damn pills aint workin’ fam
In my spare time, punchin’ walls fucking up my hand
I know that shit sound super cray
But if you had my life you’d understand
But, I cant fold
Some poor soul got it way worse
We’re all troubled in a world in trouble
It scary to […]
these pills have made me into a zombie:
numb
dead
cold.
I can’t speak,
I can’t move,
I can’t cry.
I just stare and wish someone would talk to me,
force me to open my mouth, my eyes.
This constant fear and darkness isn’t what life is supposed to be, I want to give up.
Hello all,
I am a 27 year old mentally disabled male that is good for nothing. I grew up in special education services but somehow managed to graduate college with a bachelors degree. My job sucks, i work in an office all day literally staring at my computer like a zombie and cannot hold a conversation with anyone. Everyone at my office knows i’m a disabled fuck and laughs at me. I feel so humiliated walking into that building every day. I have also been battling severe depression over the course of the last 9 years or so and have never had control over my […]
So since I moved back in with my mom, she said I can’t go anywhere on the weekends and that I have to help her by babysitting, all weekend, and she’s not even going to pay me. And she went through my stuff while I was at school and she found my razors & pills, and she threw them all away. I’m beyond pissed off. I just want to sleep, and get high.
i wanna leave this “world” aka my hell
i dont like walking round school and hearing people talk about me and laughing or writing shit about me on facebook or girls toilets,i dont want for everyone to look at me like im no good for anyone.
i couldnt help what happen to me,people say to me why didnt u scream help or rape,unless u wanted it to happen but i cant say what i want to say,i want to tell them why i didnt scream,cos when your so scared you try to scream but the words wont come out,inside your screaming so […]
“It’s dying, It’s dying!” They all cry,
Your heart got far too close to mine,
And now it’s ripping, breaking inside,
My body breathes a sigh of relief as it’s time.
I can hear it in the wind, I can feel it on my skin,
“Just one more time, you’ll feel much better ” I can’t let these voices in.
“Please don’t desert us, we were always there for you,
On those lonely nights when you were lost and didn’t know who to turn to.
Self harm? No harm! What harm can it do? They take me away cause they know it hurts you.”
Now she’s […]
I have been seriously considering suicide for several years. I am a hard-core cutter. I have several ways that I am considering killing myself. I have attempted suicide before, and ended up in a psych hospital, which absolutely sucked. I think that the easiest method by far would be to take a cyanide pill or to inhale cyanide somehow, but I don’t know where you’d get it.
If nobody does yet, I’ll probably revert back to one of my other methods. I ‘m sick of everything at this point, and I don’t give a shit about anything any more, and I just want it all […]
what happens when your family is not there for you that the betray you… after my dad died and my brother moved out of the house i was left all alone with my mom and her Borderline Personality Disorder things changed big time we started fighting a lot more and things were not getting better I started cutting myself for a cry of help when the school therapist found out i stopped and they got CPS in to the picture a year later now that they are gone we have been seeing a family therapist once a week and i would show my arms so […]