i was all excited to at least try to die. didn’t think I’d succeed but hopefully I’d get a better sense on how to do it. But the new washer is being delivered and my dad decided to stay home for it. I’m pretty pissed.
Tag:
pretty
I have been mentally ill for as long as I can remember. I suppose it really started somewhere in Junior High but being a surviver of some pretty horrific abuse, who really knows. I have severe Bipolar Disorder. I am not depressed now and rarely do I cycle that way. When I do its feelings of shame, guilt, worthlessness & an earthshattering urge to sleep. I don’t get sad. I feel a level of pain that is indescribable & that no one should ever have to feel. Mostly throughout my life though I have been manic. Not that manic that gives you amazing self confidence, […]
I am so fucking sick of you pathetic excuses for parents telling me that I’ll “ridiculous”, “a failure”, and pathetic every time I mess up at something, not matter how minor, no matter how many times I succeeded. I’m sick of you telling me that I’m not good enough. I’m sick of you guys using my dreams and my ambitions and threats against me, like I won’t ever get anywhere in life if I suddenly didn’t live with you anymore. Well heads up, fuckers. You cut me off when I was 14. Since then, I have made my money, paid my own tuition, bought my […]
My life is a collection of twisting, winding paths. Most are dark, lonely, stormy, fiery, and led me to anger, hatred, pain, sorrow, loneliness, and fear. But there was this one particular road, full of colorful roses on either side, and led me to warmth, light, hope, beauty, content, laughter, smile, love and happiness. To know that once upon a time, I walked down this path under the warmth of the pretty blue sky, danced under the rain, and prayed under the thousand stars of the summer sky. That once upon this path I ran with laughter across the green pastures, and as I dozed […]
Hi. Hopeful title I know.
So I’m a 21yo male with aspergers. I live with my mom, I can’t communicate, I have no friends, and I barely interact with my family. I do not want to feel happy, I want 100% with every fiber of my being to die. I’m not taking antidepressants because I figure if I’m sad all the time that will give me more of a motive to kill myself. I was on them for a while, and every time I tried to socialize I just got suicidal again. My dad is own antidepressants because I can’t hold a relationship with him.
You might […]
Thinking of staying around for a wee bit I’ve got a few natural health supplements helping my illness. I won’t say what though. Had a good day well pretty much. Thinking I have work on the brain if a company can or are willing to accept and employ someone who’s been unwell
So where do I even begin? Well, I signed up for this website so I guess I should explain why. Currently, I am not thinking about suicide, but I have in the past and fairly recently thought about how I would do it, why I would do it, who I would hurt and so forth, and then I realized that if anything happened to me, no one would know why, so here I am. Telling all of you what I can’t tell anyone in person.
I’m 15, I turn 16 in three weeks. I have a job that’s pretty mediocre, get good grades, I’m what you […]
Does anyone know what happens after death?
Like, i know its nearly impossible to find out and is a pretty stupid question.
I wanted to know your views. And any “spiritual” experiences yall might have had.
you know, i envy people with cancer. Listen i understand its terrible, and what im saying sounds ridiculous. But for the people on this page just imagine for a second. I hate myself, i hate everyone and im pretty sure everyone hates me. I’m so angry, so depressed, so stressed, so sick of everything. If i had cancer, that saves me having to commit suicide. Having to to find a gun, so the suicide is painless as possible. If i had cancer, I could sit, play video games, read books, watch soccer, football basketball without a fuck to give. Cause i know my life is […]
If any one wants to talk like one on one.cus they arent comfy on a public forum.
I created this id for this site only, ie, you guys,
This sites given me pretty good advice, so i guess this is me returning the favour
So the id is
sui_rc@yahoo.com
Just a few things on my mind and I may seem harsh but reading some of these comments are making me ill. Your all encouraging each other to take your life’s? Giving each other options for easy ways out? I have been in the exact same situation as many of you&it does get better. We don’t need to encourage each other to take the easy way out. We need to be sharing some fucking hope! So if I come across as harsh, it’s because I generally care.
First of all, I don’t give a shit what anyone says; There is no reason why you should take […]
Having a bad day and ive only been up an hour. Im pretty sure im not well but dont have the fight in me to care. To try and numb the pain ive takin tramadol and double dose of sleeping pills. I have even pulled out the dress and shoes id like to be cremated in.they are hanging next to my bed. I probably should whrite that doen sonewhere. Not thst a dress will make a difference ill still be a fat ugly corpse
http://youtu.be/0oCtKKNFYnI
Been driving few hours. Fell asleep at the whee few times. Catching up on sleep while I drive. Pretty great. Who says men cant multitask eh? Slumber would be nice at one point though. I might do that. I’m in Kingston. A town few hours west of our nation’s capital. Cool little place. RMC is located here. Our military university for officers to be. An army base is located here obviously and lots of heritage like Old Fort Henry. A fort we defended back in the colonial days. Pretty cool. Been there a few times. Defended it. In my mind from the countless denizens […]
O.K. Why is it so worse?
Our differences are wide our needs, similar, how are you going to get better?
Addiction changes you in a way that is twilight zone – Tobacco, once hooked, trips you into a smoke, no matter how many you avoided, I mean subconscious tricks— that’s why that smoke across the street looks five foot big pretty soon after you crush that next pack.
I’m supposed to be better, I’m typing here, guess I go do some some more computer stuff.
Well I convinced my mum to get a one bedroom place and a cheap one has popped up and on the other note I bought a people mover diesel van where the seats fold down swivel around into a bed. I have decided I can live like a camper for a while which comes with added responsibilities and room for struggle of loneliness and growth who knows I might meet some great people or tourists on my ventures.
I plan to get a gas cooker, tinned food, rice water etc and live cheaply around the country for a while I might even be able to save […]
I know I’m not pretty because many guys have left me for other women. My former fiancee constantly contacted prostitutes and denied it, posted pictures of his body parts online and to other women, and told me it wasn’t him. I’m being treated like I’m stupid. My boyfriend just said that I take credit for other peoples’ work, but he also told me I was fat. He talks about other girls’ butts and how smart they are, but whenever he says anything about me, I feel that it is fake. I’ve never done anything to deserve being loved in this life. Everyone else is married […]
I m sorry to post such a ridiculous statement,but I had to.Last night,I got drunk on vodka and tried to hang myself again for the third time.This time I was pretty sure I will get through it.I even completed say 65-70% of the process.But as you all fine folks know very well that Lady Luck can be a very cruel mistress and life is like an abusive wife.And so when I was about to fade into eternity,the rope snapped and I fell down and piss my pants.So here I am,all worthless and wet but unfortunately alive yet again.
Moral of the incident:Always empty your bladder and […]
How can I be real
If I can’t even feel
The moonlight
I’m not so pretty, like you
You can wait
I can’t
Girl, can you just
Piece, what it’s missing
On to another, tune
Makes me wanna’
The tear, of the crown
The end of the song
Hero, are you ready for
Repeat
All that I feel
Let us go back, to the North or to the West
Like, birds
Do you know, yet
To take me to, glide
On to another tune
The song at the end
The voice and the eyes
I don’t know
ok, so normally, i’m a pretty happy person, but lately, i’ve been thinking of things. like, cutting myself, or killing myself, and this has never happened before. also, i’ve been having these panic attacks, and just being really sensitive and emotional. i think it might be this fanfiction i have been reading, because it has selfharm and other really triggering things in it. i dont even know what to do anymore.
there I was on the beach, it was around 5:30 AM, I had been drinking, reflecting on my life and experiences, getting ready to do the deed (my shotgun was hidden in a tennis racket bag) when all of a sudden this man come’s walking on by (looked to be in his mid-thirties). I was very surprised because It was still pretty dark outside and pretty dead out with no people but we both make eye contact and say ‘Hey’. I think it’s going to end there but it doesn’t, he asks me what I’m doing all alone on the beach, and I replied with […]