Oh the magic of proxy browsers to get to all those websites your pesky boss has blocked. Fuck this. I’m so tired. I don’t really wanna fight anymore or hold on. I’m pretty sure I will because there’s nothing else to do but I won’t enjoy it.
Tag:
pretty
life is love for somebody but when you love somebody you will miss them and it hurts but when you lose those you love and miss you feel like you got hit by evrything bad but in time you lern to see the little shine there is in death and when you find out what death is you wil know that it is a pretty thing,
until yesterday. Sat down to pay some bills online and what I feared was true, was. Is. I don’t have the money. Missed my first mortgage payment tonight and with a $700 oil delivery to pay for followed by a life insurance bill, electric, car insurance, then Christmas followed by it all starting over in January… I don’t see a way out of it. Even with my second part time job.
I can’t believe how badly it’s affecting me. I’m naseaus, ears are ringing, it’s a little difficult to breathe, headache.
If I up my life insurance policy by a little bit, make sure there’s no suicide […]
People have killed themselves over more and over less. If truth be told, this is not the first, second, or third attempt. It is not even the first attempt this month.
I just want to say that I’m overall pretty disappointed in mankind. We’re selfish, rude, vindictive, spiteful, and no matter how much “word of god” is preached, the more religious are usually the most corrupt.
I ended my life with trust in one person. He told me that if I killed myself, I would go to hell. I think he just told me that to scare me. I hope that he just told me that to […]
So I’m only 12, nearly 13. I feel like dying each day. No one knows I want to die. I darnt say anything incase of being called an attention seeker. Some of my friends know I self harm:( they are always there for me. I’m really self conscious, like I don’t like people looking at me. It’s because I’m pretty fat and ugly. I hate the way I am. I try to change but I can’t. Most people seem to hate me because I’m different, I have bright coloured hair, I’m quiet, I’m not out goibg im clever, I’m different. IM FULL BLOWN WEIRD. Everyone’s […]
Hello my name is Jeff black, the truth is people have the right to do what they want to and freedom comes at a price,
anyway well I have changed my mind on how I feel, it comes to my attenstion that’s life isn’t worth chucking away,
to be honist, things happen to people that make us wake up some times, to I still think people have the right end their end own exsitence if they want to yes, but that doesn’t mean that happiness is impossible to find,sometimes it can be found when we least expect it,
anyway good luck to people on this […]
I love pens. I love finding them on the ground or on a desk and taking them for myself. I don’t know what it is about having a lot of pens that makes me feel good. I just bought 108 pens on Amazon just now for pretty cheap. I feel guilty, though, because I am from a very poor family that never had the money to buy pens or pencils for school. We’d have a few that we used, the rest were my dad’s pens which we couldn’t use since he wanted to keep them for himself. Maybe I get it from my dad. I […]
I want to fall asleep & never wake up. Life feels pointless. It has my whole adult life. You struggle mentally, physically, emotionally, financially…and for what? You work your whole life, just to one day die so why not speed up the bullshit process. I am sick and tired of going through the motions. I don’t want to be doped up on anti-depressants. I don’t want to self soothe through sexual pleasure, with alcohol or drugs. I’ve called the suicide hotline, & the douchebag guy pretty much told me to suck it up. Don’t waste your time. Praying doesn’t do shit. After 26 years here, […]
I downloaded Metallica’s Ride the Lightning album last night after falling in love with an 8-bit rendition that was posted to Youtube. While washing the dishes this morning before work, I put the album on and was immediately taken in by the energy that the wall to wall sound of early Metallica radiates. Great album top to bottom, but the standout track is Fade to Black. It’s not enough to read the lyrics; you have to go listen to the song and hear Hetfield crooning to really feel the weight of the words. He had this to say about recording the track:
“I wrote […]
My dads’ cousin just hung himself. I’m not going to the funeral – I met him maybe once and barely remember him. Yet it makes me feel… I’m not even sure what. Sad doesn’t quite cover it.
I’ve been thinking about suicide myself for several months now (have considered it many times before, but this is the longest prolonged period where it has seemed the only solution). I guess that just always makes me feel sympathetic to those who do go through with it. More than a year ago an actor, rather famous in my country, killed himself. I wasn’t all that much of a fan of […]
In the midst of …crisis? drama? melt down…I don’t konw whwat. I just think that i’m not doing well. I am thinking about checking into a hopsital. But I’m so scared. I have ajob….what happens when you do that and you are suppose to wokr the nxt day? Will everyone find out? I don’t even want my boss to know. I kind of want to go in the hospital and never come out or just quit my job. I don’t wnat to give up but I dodn’t feel I have the brain for this job…which is to say I don’t have a brain for much […]
Well last night was defiantly an interesting one. But now I’m left with a difficult task. I could tell something was up with my boyfriend with the way he would hardly talk . I knew something was bugging him but what he told me I was not expecting to hear at all. for about the past two years me and my bf have been together everyone was really happy about it except for one person. My little sister she pretty much hates him and it hurts me cause most of the time I have to play referee when they are near each other. Hes been […]
Someone kill me please. I want to die. Who would care and know? Oh yes, the people that get things from me, want things from me. Those are the only people who care. The rest don’t give a damn. Why am I here? Struggling and straining to be normal. Fighting to keep my moods up or level? What’s the damn point? Who do I help by existing? No one. Only those who would bleed me out to use me and abuse me. Those are the only souls that surround me. The ones that bound me.
The rest are pretenders. Offenders. Holier than thou. I’m better than […]
Hello there. I’m me. I’m confused and I still don’t like myself.
Am I the only who feels so compelled to run away all the time? I feel like I want to run away from my life. From everything I have. From all of my life. From my experiences. From reality.
I want to run away to restart. You’re right. There are no restarts in life. But. Everything we do in life is based on our definitions, no?
Ah. I’m sorry. One day I will. I might or might not bring you. But this sounds like a pretty good future in my imagination.
Right. Running away. I should run […]
So they blocked this website at work. I’m not sure if they saw that i was visiting it an inordinate amount daily or it’s a coincidence. I can’t really look at it as often as I’d like.
I stayed home today. but I called in sick, showered and ate so I think i’m doing pretty good. I’m not letting things fall apart but I don’t know how I’m gonna make it tomorrow.
I feel stupid. I’m a bit ashamed of my sadness but at the same time I want to be out about being sad and sometimes suicidal. I hate the stigma. the fact that I’ve used […]
I hate myself.
I hate myself because I know that others have it way way worse than me and they aren’t complaining. I hate myself because I am not skinny enough. I am not smart enough. I am not pretty enough. I’m not nice enough. I’m not friendly enough. I’m not out-going enough. I’m not talkative enough. I’m not open enough. I’m not perfect enough. I’m just…. not enough. I hate that I’m such… an attention whore. I hate that a lot of people have it way worse than me and I’m here just cry a river and thinking of ending it, but it ending because […]
…and the people who frequent it, the drifters, the lurkers, the class-clowns, the drama queens, and everyone in-between. I may not post much, but I read, or at least skim over, most of the posts here. Why do I find what depressed and suicidal people have to say so fascinating? Ugh, idk man. Probably because I’m crazy too. Whatever the case may be, SP has been a weird sort of bastion for me, so I thought I’d throw this out there.
Here’s to Shep, the Kiwi of many names, inspiring many a pondering and many a laugh with thought-provoking posts and witty comments alike. Introduced […]
One thing that helps me get through the day is. Is listening to music through my head phones. Music has helped me get through many dark parts of my life that I thought I would never get through. Pretty much anything except classical I listen to.
What is one thing you do to help you get through the day?
I am currently in my first year of college. All of high school I would go through my ups and downs with my self-esteem. Whenever I meet another amazingly nice, funny, and pretty girl, I become obsessed with them. I want to be them and I model myself after them. I become their friend and I change the way I do my makeup and hair, or the way I dress. I get angry that I have light brown hair and hers is dark brown, or that I will never be as tall or skinny as her. Or that my face is covered in acne. Life […]
I thought that given the nature of some posts I’ve read recently, that I should share with y’all my scars. These pictures were taken today, October 7th, the cuts were made on August 19/20. They are still very bright, very noticeable and often very sensitive. For a time, the sub stitches, non-dissolvable, were getting rejected by my body and were pushed up through the semi-healed wounds. I kept having to take cuticle scissors and cut the threads down in the hopes that I would be able to unravel the knots and pull the nylon out. I think I got a few out, but the rest […]