I ain’t living long like this. No one or nothing could help me. It’s been a decade, nothing yet. There are holes in the floor of my mind, like those in a medieval dungeon floor — Making it difficult for me to crawl back up from the pit. I feel worse than numb. The medicines only fucked me up real bad. I can’t even begin to talk about them for I’ll have to pen an entire fucking essay on it. Bruh. Oh, the ECT made me lose my fucking memory. Sure, it did help me with my severe mania episodes, but it worsened my OCD […]
Tag:
Psychosis
So many things that should probably be said;
I don’t even know where to begin; and, i’m just really not the type to dwell…But nonetheless they need be.
Maybe i’m just to stupid to; not… to; dwell. (Anyway, how’r all you stars?)…*Dizzy ;{P
You know? I used to want to be in the military…but now, all my naive suppositions are more or less confirmed… and this capitalism shit is kind of resonating as well…(there’s just a level of living that people need to go on) With this and that, I’ve never been against hard work, I’ve just always come to the point that it never pays off…(Never learned from […]
So to get started let me just say this i am clinically insane I’ve been diagnosed with multi-personality disorder i’m bipolar schizophrenic i show a lack of or no empathy all together i also suffer from ptsd. and to put that in perspective im 18. also sorry about grammar and capitalization but im in a rush. to make a long story short its hard to know me and its even harder to pretend you do so don’t bother trying. also the family card doesn’t work they’re part of the reason im like this. im killing myself because of three reasons 1 im board 2 life […]
Excuse the spelling mistakes but I am am currently crying and i will not check over this post.
I have psychosis and schitzophrenia. In my case, I hallucinate all the time and find it very hard to tell who is real and who isn’t. thats not the thing thats bugging me though, i can deal with harmless, imaginary people walking around. what i cant deal with is the episodes. my episodes consist of me black out, then waking up (i dont know how much longer later apparently it varies from 10minutes-2hours) covered in cuts, usually deep ones that need stitches. theyre usually on my neck and […]
Hi you could say Im new but not to depression, psychosis and anxiety and loneliness. Ive had it all my life dont know where it comes from, my mum and dad are normal, my bro has a bit of psychosis/anxiety but i think mines worse. I have paranoid thoughts (delusions) like im the only real person and im being watched/judged even for example scared of expressing myself like answering simple questions like what kinda music do you like, i say i dunno. Or ordering something at a restaurant or food place i feel judged for what i order or even say like they know what […]
I suppose this is one of my main reasons as to why I want to kill myself. About seven years ago I came to the realization that everything that I perceive as real could just be a creation of my mind, with no way of proving or disproving it. Because of this, I haven’t had any will to live in nearly a decade. I am convinced that this will sooner or later be the death of me, after all, it eliminates any guilt about committing suicide, as well as any fear of death or dying. This way of thinking has affected me so drastically that […]
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SHqo2FDJSU0I feel like nothing is going anywhere… nothing is getting any better. A year ago I moved to my father’s to finally get away from my mother, sister, and my mother’s boyfriend, because they were pushing me to the edge. They’ve always been “there” for me, at things like competitions for band, and driving me to school events… but that is pretty much where it ends.
My mother loves me, and I hate seeing her upset, but when my sister is around, there is always a pointless fight started by her, and I get to the point of just wanting to jump off the […]
Fine you want a back story don’t you?
Ive been wanting to die since I was 14 years old. I’m 27. I’ve survived mulitple suicide attempts. I dont have the courage to jump off a building or blow my brains out with a gun.
I’ve tried hypothermia in a freezing river. I pissed myself before i jumped into that water, oh it fucking burned so bad i couldnt stand it, i was like alright ima just get a gun this shit is too painful. Then I got a gun and couldnt pull the trigger, I was going to shoot myself in the temple and thats like one […]
So until recently I’ve been showing minor signs of Catatonic Schizophrenia. If you dont know what that is, Catatonic schizophrenia is a type (or subtype) of schizophrenia that includes extremes of behavior. Regular schizophrenia is one of many brain diseases that may include delusions, loss of personality (flat affect), confusion, agitation, social withdrawal, psychosis, and bizarre behavior.
I started showing signs and its freaking me out. I’ve begun to see shadows that stay longer than normal, and I’ve been hearing unfamiliar voices call my name. The shadows want to hurt me but they wont leave me alone. Its been getting harder to concentrate and complete my thoughts (you have […]
I just spent 19 days inpatient and am likely going to go to partial next week. I have bipolar type 2 with psychosis. I was misdiagnosed as having major depressive disorder with generalized anxiety. I also have PTSD. Please, anyone who is considering suicide, get help. Get a diagnosis, get treatment. You are stronger than this.
I have fought severe depression and schizophrenia for a number of years. I go through bad times and then I can suffer through hell for months to a year or so at a time. As I write this I am in a downer period, voices constantly abuse me and tell me to kill myself and hallucinations frighten the absolute shit out of me to the point where I am screaming for help and crying my eyes out. I have had a number of suicide attempts but have been interrupted because of being on constant suicide watch. I did however have 2 very close attempts, on […]
I get 2 anon voicemails today telling me I should kill myself. 3 texts too. My head has been going through every possivle scenario, thinking about how I could do it. I don’t see my therapist for a week, and I physically cannot go back to the hospital. I would not recover this time. The only option is death. I can’t keep living like this, with people hating me, myself included. Â With my life being slowly ebbed away by reality and sorrow. I’m one more breakdown from total psychosis. I have no where else to turn.
About 3 year ago I fell in love with a girl that I had known for a few years. We started to talk through texting, instant messaging etc, but we would never talk in person, ever, I mean I felt just guilty looking at her. We became “best friends” (sounds almost laughable now, considering we never said one word to eachother), but I always got so angry whenever we talked after a few months of this, and we argued pretty much every day (still through texting), which caused me to harm myself – most notably I have several long scars across my torso, a burn […]
first off id like to say i hate everything. I stopped taking meds and now i cant move my fucking arm cause of a stress related disorder.I couldnt walk earlier and now this. I dont know why i stopped taking it it just happened. But for some reason ive gone between super happy then super pissed and now depressed and wanting to die. No im not bipolar. Im psychotic but not schizophrenic. And Im terribly alone ive never been more alone. My two main emotions are alone and pissed off. But i have to keep cool only my close friend knows whats going on with […]
I’m S. I suffer with bipolar disorder. I was bullied all through school and had trouble making friends. I was raped when I was six then again at 12 after which I attempted suicide. I grew up with a perfect family. I have always been extremely close to my mam, dad and sisters. Last year I found out my dad is not my biological father when someone emailed me saying that I’m there sister. I now have 7 new brothers and sisters and a biological father who is currently in rehab. My family hasn’t changed but I haven’t coped with it I’ve just pushed it […]
I just overdosed a couple days ago and havent been able to get suicide of my mind. It seemed like i was doing good i used to go to the er about three to two times a day for suicide attempts swallowing batteries and overdosing on pills i tried to hang myself once didn’t work out to well cause we live in a freaking apartment. I dont want to die and its hard to even admit when im suicidal to people cause it feels wrong saying it. I havent been admitted to a mental hospital cause mostly i lie my way out of it. Im […]