Tag:

real

The high-speed train is derailing in slow motion.

by Heiwana 8/9/2015

written by Heiwana

So I found out that I possibly have Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and everything makes sense now. And I just want to kill myself because I just don’t know what is real and what is not. And I don’t want to live in this hell for the rest of my life.

I am not quite sure if I have it, but I have almost all symptoms and I fit every description of a person with BPD. I have mood swings, the “I hate you, don’t leave me, It’s your fault, I love as a brother…”, the getting angry for small things, the obsessions, paranoia, easily getting […]

8/9/2015 12 comments

Accommodations the delusional, but not for the disabled.

by wndozh8er 8/6/2015

written by wndozh8er

I remember back when I was 19 years old, there was this big “civil rights controversy” that started in Florida where a Muslim woman wanted to have her drivers ID taken while fully covered in a burka, which covered every part of her face accept for her eyes. The far left jumped right on it, and bleed for her. Also Muslims are allowed to pray 5 times a day at work. These are not equal rights, these are special rights given to people who are religiously delusional. I don’t discriminate since I’m an atheist. These are not real rights!

i know someone near and dear to […]

8/6/2015 5 comments

What Am I?

by Heiwana 8/6/2015

written by Heiwana

Last month I and my friend had a fight and at some point he asked me why I do this, if it was to seek attention. And since I am thinking: Am I really depressed?

This is getting really confusing and I just don’t know what is real anymore. I barely sleep, I barely eat, food doesn’t taste good anymore, I can’t concentrate, I can’t have fun while I play my favourite games, I used to love reading and writing and drawing but know I don’t. Everything bores me and everything is so exhausting. Sometimes I have suicidal thoughts and sometimes I cut myself. And after […]

8/6/2015 4 comments

I seek real online friends

by heartofazombie. 8/2/2015

written by heartofazombie.

Hi everyone,

I signed up today because it is time that I seek support. I’m going through a lot of pain because of my past and present, and it is not going in the right direction. That is very hard for me to admit. Every day is a fight. I’m trying to be strong and build a life for myself, but I feel very alone and the hope and motivation is fading. I used to make friends easily, but this past year took all life out of me, and I’m now too tired to go out and meet people. My family never calls anymore, and I […]

8/2/2015 24 comments

The Professor

by MentallyWeak 7/30/2015

written by MentallyWeak

I honestly don’t understand how people can believe in God. Like what has he done for us?

I saw this video, it was a story of this professor who preached to his class for a whole semester how God couldn’t be real. He’d pick up a piece of chalk and say

“If God was real, he’d stop this piece of chalk from breaking.”

Then he’d drop the chalk and it would break.

One semester this Christian with strong beliefs took his class and at the end of the semester the professor said, “if you still think God is real, stand up”

And the Christian stood up and the […]

7/30/2015 28 comments

No no a thousand times no

by quaero 7/30/2015

written by quaero

This is not what i had expected. fuck it, fuck it. everything is ugly from the inside. I thought after getting a job many things will be fulfilled, i will take my revenge, become independent and move out and live on my own. But… nothing comes free. Everything comes with its own conditions and effects. eh, it changes you. Fuck, this is not what i had expected. nothing is fulfilled and everything is gone.

I hate my job. And it really has nothing to do with work pressure or office culture. I don’t know what I hate. But i’m hating it. I dread going to it. […]

7/30/2015 2 comments

What

by Bisban 7/29/2015

written by Bisban

How can I be real

If I can’t even feel

The moonlight

I’m not so pretty, like you

You can wait

I can’t

Girl, can you just

Piece, what it’s missing

On to another, tune

Makes me wanna’

The tear, of the crown

The end of the song

Hero, are you ready for

Repeat

All that I feel

Let us go back, to the North or to the West

Like, birds

Do you know, yet

To take me to, glide

On to another tune

The song at the end

The voice and the eyes

I don’t know

7/29/2015 1 comment

Writing my real suicide note

by disgusting 7/25/2015

written by disgusting

And having so much trouble. Why the hell can’t I phrase anything the way that it needs to be said and that accurately expresses it????

7/25/2015 3 comments

I wish i was good enough

by disgusting 7/25/2015

written by disgusting

I wish being good to him was enough. I wish giving everything I have to give was enough. I wish loving and adoring him were enough. I wish it wasnt all about looks and money. I wish I could be the one to worship him. I wish I counted. I wish he believed my love was real instead of desperation as he thinks it is. I wish he weren’t superficial at all. I wish I didn’t have to be without him. He thinks it’s unhealthy to love just one person… and I don’t think it’s anything close to love to want a dozen or more […]

7/25/2015 3 comments

The feelings are mutual

by 1woebegone 7/24/2015

written by 1woebegone

My first post…

I often think of how welcoming of death I am. Some say they are scared, I am not. If I could only wave a wand and poof!

I have many many things in my life to be thankful for, particularly two kids that I could never see leaving.

i battle depression alone. My wife is the only person that knows, but she would never understand the thoughts in my head.

i have no real direction with this post, just rambling. I’m just excited to be here. I will post again.

just wanted to introduce myself.

7/24/2015 1 comment

It never lasts long

by disgusting 7/19/2015

written by disgusting

Just seconds after my last post, I see him with some girl. Mr Nobody Likes Me. Yeah right. He’s gorgeous enough to have them lined up and on a wait list until 2045. I can understand that he’d never no chance in hell go for me but what I can’t understand is totally ignoring and writing someone off who would do anything for you. Must be that he convinced himself that my love can’t be real since I’m so ugly it must be that I’m jus desperate or crazy. If somebody wanted time with me I wouldn’t ignore them or write them off. He damn […]

7/19/2015 1 comment

a

by Rotted_Flesh 7/17/2015

written by Rotted_Flesh

nothing

7/17/2015 0 comment

Numb

by disgusting 7/14/2015

written by disgusting

I finally figured out what it is. He completely invalidated my feelings. The love I’ve felt for him or anyone else, he writes off as stupid or crazy. So my feelings aren’t real to others and therefore don’t matter. Apparently you can stomp all over my ‘feelings’ and it won’t hurt me because I don’t really have any true, honest, normal and rational feelings like everybody else. That just invalidates my entire LIFE because I’ve known what I wanted out of life since I was 5. My death truly won’t matter.

7/14/2015 4 comments

I dont believe in it either

by disgusting 7/13/2015

written by disgusting

Positive thinking / radical self love

I saw this linked on facebook yesterday and agree with it 100%. Even my friend that I’m in love with, who has a real bad deal in life, believes this think positive crap. I’ve always said I’m living proof you can work as hard as possible, give all of yourself, put out 1000% and still not get shit in return. Seriously, go read the article because I can’t put it any better.

7/13/2015 3 comments

what makes one worthy?

by stormfall 7/12/2015

written by stormfall

What is it that makes some people worth loving or caring for or forgiving and others not? What makes some people entitled to happiness peace joy love and others not? Why do some good people find only pain and others less good find contentment? Is there no logic in this world? Is logic the answer? Is there justice? Where is the line between justice and vengence? Without such a line there can be no redemption. Is there redemption? Do people change? Is hope a real thing or just a way of framing denial of ones fate. Sorry to ramble but as i wrestle with my […]

7/12/2015 2 comments

Take a walk in my footsteps.

by NotAttentionSeeking 7/11/2015

written by NotAttentionSeeking

Imagine falling head over heels in love with someone. You have been in love with this person, thinking about them, obsessing over them 24/7 for 3 years and it’s still going on. You find out that the intend to propose to you and you couldn’t be happier. You are in a state of ecstasy. In a state of unbelief, that you have to pinch yourself to make sure that everything is real and you are not dreaming.

You really arn’t dreaming but it’s not real. The unconditional love you felt from that someone – it’s not real. The plans that you would be together for ever […]

7/11/2015 0 comment

Struggle street

by struggle street 7/9/2015

written by struggle street

I haven’t been on this site for a few years. I was on it then because I was really suicidal, I worked through it that time and now it’s back with a vengeance. The last two years have been the worst two years. I’ve been waiting for it to get better but it doesn’t seem to be. My story’s about loss I guess. I’m a real survivor, I ve lived through sexual assault, violence, drug addiction. I’ve come out the other side on a couple of ocassions. I had 7 years off drugs and alcohol & 3 years but I’ve had these relapses and they’ve […]

7/9/2015 2 comments

abandoned

by silvermoon 7/5/2015

written by silvermoon

if your ptsd ever got to the point where you constantly heard his voice

or compulsively checked email and fb hoping someone cared enough to say hello

no one had your back, no family

bad memories only self hatred hating everything about yourself and your life

nothing did the trick

and all you saw was terror and homelessness around the corner

if even walking you had panic attacks and felt paranoid

if you felt they would soon come and “take you away”

if you felt you didnt deserve to live

if you had night terrors and heard actual voices, if you couldnt have a real partner

if everything you did was futile and left you […]

7/5/2015 0 comment

first dissociative experience

by stormfall 7/4/2015

written by stormfall

Was nice felt so light physically and mentally. A nice break. But be warned… had i a gun nearby i wouldnt be here i dont think. I conceptualized and pictured that and there was no hesitation mentally. Almost a feeling like it wouldnt be quite real or i could try it and then undo it. Hard to explain not a bad experience but maybe a bit dangerous.

7/4/2015 1 comment

My crisis chat adventure(rants)

by wannadie 7/4/2015

written by wannadie

I was feeling pretty suicidal lately,and i cant call or talk to anyone in real life, so i tried emailing the samaritans. Ends with me having an emotional breakdown and shutting them away.

So i decided to try crisis chat instead. *clicks first webpage that popped up* -this service is available in US territories only- No.

*clicks second webpage* -this service requires steady broadband connection- No.

*clicks third webpage*-our operators are currently offline-Urgh.

*clicks fourth webpage*-this service is available in US territories only- ARGHHHHH

*clicks like a hundredth webpage* hey its online! -connects-

me: hi

Operator:hi, whats your problem?

Me: im depressed for no reason at all, and i want to die

Operator:have you […]

7/4/2015 9 comments

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