Tag:

remember

Feigning emotion

by ceaseless_echo 5/2/2015

written by ceaseless_echo

In conversation, I constantly have to guess what emotion I’m supposed to feel, then try to act it out as best I can. I’m very afraid of being discovered in my callousness and indifference. When something bad happens, it’s scary to think that someone might find out how little I feel for others in their misfortune. Joy, of course, is completely absent.

When others are feeling emotion it seems like a curious and alien thing to me now. It’s like watching someone perform a physical feat of strength that I’ll never be able to do. I used to feel emotion in a normal way, but I […]

5/2/2015 6 comments

A thought

by cephalus 4/26/2015

written by cephalus

Mistakes that haunt you
Not the ones, others expect
You wish they would
But you are alone
Just regret

Sick of girls wanting you
Sick of being alone
Sick of being amazing
Sick of being dull

With you, Primal.
With you, Final.
With you, I thought.

4/26/2015 1 comment

Pain inexpressible

by ceaseless_echo 4/22/2015

written by ceaseless_echo

I cannot put my pain into words. I can’t cry. I deal with it alone all day and late into the night. There used to be catharsis putting it into words. Not anymore. The only relief left is to die. I don’t want to die, especially not alone and painfully. But it is a choice between that, and enduring pain that I no longer have the strength to face. I have no hope, no dignity, no fight left.

Words, words, words. The counterfeit of action. More contemptible than the suicidal gesture done to illicit sympathy. I am doing the exact same thing, yet without having to […]

4/22/2015 6 comments

Ray Lewis voice talking to myself.(turn 21 today)

by lifeishorrible 4/21/2015

written by lifeishorrible

She don’t even remember yo birthday!!That person that used to be crying In the restroom cutting himself 30+ cuts,thats the old you.That person that tried to kill himself two times Is the old you.Now,now she don’t even remember yo birthday.People come & go but success stays with you as long as your willing to do your part.Work hard so that no one & I mean no one can take that away from you!!Its only the beginning of your young life & were all happy that you stuck around to experience It.

4/21/2015 0 comment

Sorrow

by JustReallySad 4/20/2015

written by JustReallySad

You think you’re miserable? You can’t even fathom my misery. You remember every bad thing I ever did to you. How quickly you forget. The things you said and did to me. You know, we could spare each other all this pain.

I know I can change, how about you? Can you spare me all your fucking lies! And all I ask is to talk to you again. But you don’t seem to want to. I wish I could take a walk with you. I would show you all my pain. You took everything I had from me. I can’t wait…to get away.

Will it help?

Probably not. […]

4/20/2015 0 comment

Clouds

by cephalus 4/20/2015

written by cephalus

Set to the music “The Fool on the Hill.”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UNfS9Ywb2Cc

I have become the clouds. No feelings, just expression. They only appreciate in passing. A compliment here, a compliment there, their heads turn back, to the ground. Beautiful, for those that look. But I am not beautiful, its just a point of view. Clouds at night, hidden from everyone. Unable to see no matter how hard you strain. Sadness, happiness, productive. Irrelevant. No one understands the work that goes into forming me. The sun, creating a phase transition of water, condensing back down… I form rain, snow, thunder. Some hate, others love. Emotionless either way. Some fly […]

4/20/2015 3 comments

for those who care and those who don’t

by worthless_loser 73 4/20/2015

written by worthless_loser 73

My parents weren’t perfect by any means. They made their fair share of mistakes raising me. But their intent was always good. They tried their best to help me all the way to the end.

I know that when I’m gone it will devastate them. They have been living in fear of this for the last several months. It hasn’t been easy for them. I regret putting them through this pain. But it wasn’t my choice.

My brother and sister live far away so I don’t see them very often anymore. They will be hurt, too, and so will their kids. No more uncle for them. I […]

4/20/2015 0 comment

I’m trying to remember

by Namelessqueer 4/13/2015

written by Namelessqueer

…what it was like to feel deep sadness as a young person. Well, really as a younger person because I am still young. I mean I see all of these high school folks on here feeling broken because they feel as if they have no friends, feeling lonely and I feel for them. I wonder how their sadness is similar and different from that sadness which I felt at their age. The internet was a smaller place 15 years ago, not much smaller but a bit. Blogs were less popular, there were less voices on sadness. Now it seems like there […]

4/13/2015 1 comment

I Bid You Adieu.

by Evol2326 4/9/2015

written by Evol2326

As I sit here typing with shaky hands, I can only think of where I’ll wander when I die. I want to know what it’s like to not have a worry in the world, where the stresses created by my own mind cannot reach me. A fifteen-year-old mind should not be thinking this. But I have lost most of those I care about, either by death or by abandonment. I’ve tried time and time again to “just push through it” or “just be happy.” But it isn’t that simple. Not at all. I’m ravaged every night by nightmares that leave me screaming for someone, anyone. But […]

4/9/2015 7 comments

Finding happiness.

by L0STgirl 4/3/2015

written by L0STgirl

I don’t even know why I’m sad anymore. I can’t even remember what it’s like to be happy, thats the sad part. Do you remember being happy? If you do remind me, please!

4/3/2015 7 comments

My Chemical Romance the light behind her eyes

by i-Like-turtles 4/1/2015

written by i-Like-turtles

so long to all my friends everyone of them met tragic ends with every passing day i be lying if i didn’t say that i miss all to night and if they only knew what i would would say if i could be with you tonight i would sing you to sleep never let them take the light behind your eyes one day ill lose this fight as i fade in the dark just remember you will always burn as bright be strong and hold my hand time becomes us, you’ll understand we’ll say goodbye today and sorry how it ends this way if you […]

4/1/2015 1 comment

Remembering Wendy O Williams

by transition32 3/18/2015

written by transition32

So many people forgot about Wendy O Williams. I didn’t! Wendy, it’s so sad that you had to take your life. I can’t blame you! This world is controlled by such evil assholes! Someday I will get to leave this stupid world and join you:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XuQLyDv7uO4

Most people in this world are such phony, pretentious back stabbing fucking scum, I look to people like Beavis and Butthead for hope and inspiration! Beavis and Butthead ain’t perfect, but at least they are honest! Not only that, they are sleazy and they are funny! There are only a few decent people in this world. A few. Very few! […]

3/18/2015 1 comment

Dirty Little Secrets

by Matt 3/13/2015

written by Matt

In time all foul things come forth…

Technically he raped me. The definition of rape is forcing someone to have sexual intercourse against their will. That’s what he did.

I’ve never really told anyone this. I’ve hinted about it to friends, but they were never that interested. I’m ashamed because it isn’t something you ever want to admit. Makes me feel weak.

It was St Patrick’s day last year, he was drunk. I humored him when he came into my room. I even humored him when he wanted to kiss me. But then he took it too far. I said no. He pinned my arms back. I always […]

3/13/2015 7 comments

How would I be remembered?

by Dropkick 3/12/2015

written by Dropkick

Sometimes I wonder about this. If I were to commit suicide. Is that all people would remember about me? I mean, do you think people would remember me for who I was? Or would all the good things I’ve ever done or ever accomplished be overshadowed by it. Would I just be remembers as that sad and weak person who killed himself?

3/12/2015 2 comments

Where I come from.

by maybeoneday1213123 3/11/2015

written by maybeoneday1213123

I was born in Surrey, British Columbia on an early spring morning. My mother, being accompanied by only her parents was resting from the harsh birth just hours prior. My mother was married just weeks prior to her admittance into the hospital and with some surprise, my father entered the room with another woman. He wasn’t one to stay with the same woman for long before he’d discard the relationship to move on. The first two years were hell, I was abandoned in my crib for elongated hours with nothing more than a sippy cup of apple juice. My biological parents were incapable of […]

3/11/2015 0 comment

Pathetic

by Valentine Sugar 3/9/2015

written by Valentine Sugar

I’ve meet a lot of people, everyone with a different story to tell. Some are sad, some are happy, some are amazing. Then, is my own story, and I know I’m pathetic with my suicide mind in a world were not only me but everybody have problems, the thing is that I fall too easy. Still, I don’t wanna comfort myself with those cliche words, i just wanna die in this pathetic world were no body will remember me. But more pathetic I am thinking […]

3/9/2015 0 comment

If I Had a Time Machine

by Matt 3/6/2015

written by Matt

I’d go back to yesterday, when I slipped that noose around my neck but stopped when I heard them coming up the stairs. I’d hold the door shut until I was finished.

I’d go back 6 months and not send that letter to you. I’d remember to lock the front door so they wouldn’t have found me.

I’d go back 12 months and cut a bit deeper with that straight razor. I wouldn’t tell people I needed help, I wouldn’t tell them I was glad I had them, because I never did.

I’d go back 18 months and just tell you to fuck off. Maybe this could have […]

3/6/2015 1 comment

Hey People

by Skeleton100 3/5/2015

written by Skeleton100

Hey, I don’t care what you’ve done, what you’ve failed, or why you browse this website. I don’t know why you’re hurting, why you’re hollow, why you’re crumbling, why you’re going to snap out of this fake world.

Have a good day. Haha, that’s an empty phrase. I know a lot of you aren’t having good days. A lot of you can’t remember what a good day exactly is. World’s in grey-scale, numb, dull ache.

You people are wonderful and strong. I’ll probably never meet you guys, but I wish you the best. Love from a random troubled stranger on a random computer in a random world.

Yay, end of […]

3/5/2015 2 comments

Do you ever think about

by Ascending 3/1/2015

written by Ascending

what happens after the end?

I have been suicidal since I can remember. The only thing that has stopped me from attempting (in recent years) is the fear of what will happen after I catch the bus. What if I am successful in my endeavor, only to end up in the same position again?

I have the means. I have the will. Now I just need the courage to take my final step.

3/1/2015 5 comments

How do you do?

by comomequieranllamar 2/25/2015

written by comomequieranllamar

Yes, we ask it all the time. But, do we even want to listen the answer?

I’ve been wondering if someone would notice how down I am and ask me if I’m ok… and then just sit and really listen.

But then I realized I don’t remember the last time I was sincerely interested in how someone was doing.

So, why should I expect from others what I’m not able to give?

When I write in English, it looks funny to me, with all those capital “I” around. It’s kind of symptomatic.

2/25/2015 2 comments

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