I’m scared to die but want to.right when I’m about to down some pills I think about what’s gonna happen after and chicken out. I’m NOT Christen so I don’t believed I’ll go to hell for doing so. But were do I find the strength to kill myself?
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When I was a young girl, my parents were divorced and I lived with my mother. I thought that’s how families were suppose to be though. You have two separated parents and just visit the one occasionally. Then one day my mom started seeing this guy. I had an idea of what was going on because my dad was also seeing another woman. But the strange thing to me was when my mom and this guy who was actually a complete stranger to me got engaged and he moved in. It was weird at first but I liked the idea of having two “parents” together. […]
I want to die. I don’t want to be here anymore. I’m tired of struggling. I’m tired of what’s right & wrong. Everyday is a huge waste of energy. I just want to disappear. I’m tired of being the crazy one. The one in therapy…that’s not working. So I feel like a failure. I fail at all I touch.
Damn. It’s Hot. I hate this island. Nothing ever makes sense here. Everyone is smoking and drinking and killing cursing and…is happy. Why do buses filled with white people come here? Who in their right mind would want to come here? Avoid the groid! It’s so hot! Is this hell? Because everyone torments me with their jubilee while I am just devastated. I thought that If I preserved my memories they preserve me but they are just a mental horror movie. My childhood wasted. The real me Lost somewhere in between the beatings and loneliness and alienation. Why here!? Haha. Maybe I should run to […]
Just like I presumed life seriously did mess me right up again. Life just seems to be a gamble nowadays. Once again I got caught with my boyfriend….really is it that bad to have a boyfriend I mean I am 18 just leave me be. Ok I know it goes against my religious beliefs and all but I just don’t know what to do any more. On one side my parents are telling me to get married now, but we have nothing to live off and are still students ourselves…and on the other side I have his side who don’t mind me getting married to […]
Everyone tells me that I’m so lucky, so smart, so attractive. I have everything apparently. But there’s more to life than that superficial crap. In life you need only one thing: a place to belong. This is the thing that I don’t have.
I had a bunch of friends that I thought cared about me. I was wrong. They all stabbed me in the back. I asked them to go easy on me because I thought I was becoming depressed. They told me to grow up. Depression is for children, apparently. Anti-depressants only make me sleepy. I guess the objective is to just sleep your life […]
The guy I thought I loved, well I didn’t love him. That guy I considered my best friend, he wasn’t ever truly my best friend. The relationship I thought I had the one that felt like magic, I didn’t have one it was all an illusion. I had hope, faith, I still fucken believed like some idiot. I still had feelings for him, now that part of me, that hope, those dreams and beliefs are all dead and gone. He cheated on me with her who knows for how long and they are dating. All I can do is laugh because he couldn’t let me […]
I feel so inferior next to you sometimes. I tell you I enjoy doing something, but I never dared to do it in front or when you’re around me because I’m scared.
I feel so small, so tiny and so insignificant. I feel so worthless; only wasting up space on this planet Earth. I’m so sorry. I’m so stupid. So silly. I can’t do anything right.
The urge and pain is back. My only way out would be to hang myself (good thing there’s trees around), but im broke right now and I can’t buy the rope. I used to have some, but my parents found it while snooping through my room and they threw it away. I honestly feel like these are my last days on Earth
If you ever need someone to talk to, or vent or anything please come and talk to me on kik: boricua_loca23, If you need a friend, talk to me. If you need acceptance I’m right here. If you’re gay, bisexual,transgender, if you drink, or smoke, or anything. Talk to me I do not judge. I’m here whenever. For anything. Please don’t hesitate to contact me. I’m here for you.
I’m new to this site because I’ve not really had reason to seek it out until recently. I’ve lurked quietly and read peoples’ stories because I found a sense of catharsis from witnessing and understanding that I’m not the only person who can feel this low. I think my story won’t be popular or creative and some may even scoff at me and think I’m a spoilt brat, but it’s my story and my life and it feels very real to me.
I’m a 21 year-old male, I grew up in a fairly privileged household where my parents provided materially but were never emotionally there. They’re […]
I don’t know if anyone else experiences this or is it just me. But sometimes there are some grief and emotions that I don’t deal with right away and they just sit around waiting patiently, giving me enough space to function normally for a while. Sometimes they pile up so high I can’t image ever dealing with them. But then one day when you least expect it, it all comes crashing down. The moment you knew was coming but hoped it will never really come. And I just can’t help it. Tears tears tears.. buckets of tears.. a grief so great that it crushes my […]
Hello everyone, I am a married father of two with a great job in which everyone treats me with the utmost respect.
But yet, every day I wake up miserable and I want out of this life I live.
At work, I get praise and adulation from my staff and superiors, even to the point where I may be looking at a promotion in the future as a branch manager for the company I work for.
At home, is where my life is a constant Hell…it seems like I can never do anything right for my family, and I screw up on a regular basis, bringing disappointment to […]
No matter how hard I try, and no matter that some things go right, I can’t get ahead in this life.
So, just lost my place to live Sunday night, staying with my brothers ex for as short a time as possible, we get along ok, but she just hates people in her living space, and I can totally respect that.
Still have my job, and work my ass off when I’m there. Pay is crap, and we’re now cutting hours. Since I started about 4 weeks ago, I was getting an average of 30 hours a week, which was just enough to cover my bills, keep […]
Your smiling so hard, you can almost see the tears behind it. Fake a smile.. Everything will get better right? No, it fucking won’t. I’ve been dreaming of shit to get better for the past 2 years.. not a single thing has changed, it’s just all gotten worst. Fake people at school, knowing that to my family I’m just a disappointment to them.
Anyone please give me a reason to go on or I might finally do it
“I wish I was in your shoes right now”
You fucking idiot you imbecile if you were in my shoes right now your fucking heart would break from the pain and your skull and bones would shatter
I was okay for a while Why was I okay
Why am I not okay
Pills, give me back my tears, I want to cry
I need help please help me
Please say something please
I want to go
Yep. There was a chance for me in April where I could have died from cyanide poisoning. As painful as that would have been, I’d be dead right now. My suffering would have ended there. I hate myself for not doing it, for not taking the chance I had.
I thought I could make a life for myself, for my Grandmother’s sake at the very least, but things have gotten worse since then. I’m making excuses, whatever. I want out right now. I’m going to try again tonight. It should work if I’m serious enough.
In case it does work; I bid thee farewell.
<3
Well tomorrow is Tuesday and i have class for 13 hours. I have a quiz that I can’t study for but with the right thing i know I can ace it . Tomorrow, I will try to become independent but well see how that goes. I am trying to accept that my grades don’t really matter unless its general ed. I can’t wait to leave this school and go someplace I belong.
I’ve struggled with disdain and hatred for my body for the duration of my depression, I was diagnosed with body dysmorphic disorder last August and it all culminates at times. I just can’t stand my face, I’ve honestly tried cutting parts of it off with scissors multiple times but I’m a ***** and couldn’t stand the pain and blood. I have a particular hatred for my right eye, I have no idea why, I just hate it. It doesn’t look right, it’s ugly, it ruins my face, ugh, it’s just horrible. I’ve gone through bouts of wearing eyepatches for months at a time and my […]
If you are so proud of reducing suicide options for the desperate, then offer some help
written by A Bridge Too Far
I am 60+. I am desperate. There is no help to be found, anywhere. Even for my simple problem.
I look for ways to exit. That is my right. But I can not find any sure way that is even semi-humane.
Why? Because every damn drug that could’ve helped me to do it peacefully has been withdrawn from the market.
They proudly announce their success in reducing peaceful suicides. Even though suicide rates continue to rise. Yet they offer no help in return. That is brutal, primitive and being proud of increasing torture. That is being an uncaring monster.
What a sick society we have.