Trying to summarize what has brought me to this place is pretty difficult. When your life is fine (good job, wife, kids) and you still think about killing yourself every day, what do you do? I just have a hard time dealing with the pointlessness and the daily sameness. And the fear. I’m sick and tired of the constant fear that something bad is going to happen to someone I love, especially one of my kids or my wife. So I try to practice my zen breathing and try to live in the moment, and try to appreciate the moment I’m experiencing right now, and […]
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right
so i talked to my friends about our current “situation”. its so obvious they hate me right now. maybe its because they think i’m acting stupid or something, i don’t know. this is why i hate people. they never seem to understand whats wrong with me. they always force me to admit to my mistakes even though its their own fault too. what a friend.
If you could change one thing in the past what would it be?
If you had the courage to say something to someone would you?
If you could travel to any place where would it be?
If you could meet anyone who would it be?
If you could save any person who would it be?
If you could say “I love you,” to anyone who would it be?
If you could be allergic to anything what would it be?
If you could do anything what would it be?
If you had no suicidal thoughts or anything depressing what would you be doing right now?
If […]
Just because it’s Valentines Day doesn’t mean you need to celebrate with a significant other. Take the time to tell your family & loved ones how much they mean to you. Sometimes I don’t feel like I tell them enough so this is just another excuse because, let’s be honest- it’s just another day of the year so technically it’s Valentines day everyday. Most of all, remember to continue to LOVE yourself . Take care of yourself. Take care of your heart. I’m gonna take the moment to tell you guys right now that I love you guys… *big hugs*.
Maybe […]
I made a decision weeks ago that I have to live for my family, but…
by cagedtiger
written by cagedtiger
All I can think about every minute is dying. I want to fucking die today, right now, so badly. Â :'(
I started writing letters to the only people who talk to me. This is what I have for Andrea, a friend who has suffered a lot, and I tried to help, but she was never in CAP with me and disagreed on me joining.
Andrea:
If you’re reading this, then you know. Sorry. Wanted to tell you.
The money I left won’t be much but it should help you get by. Want you to be happy when you meet the right person. Don’t want you to have to be on your own.
Not sure the right way to say how I feel about you. Think you know already, though. […]
You sent me a text tonight Telling me you were proud of me. I needed to see that more then you know. I needed to see something good to take away from the bad. You told me I was strong. But I’m not. I’m so severely depressed right now I literally can’t move. I need you to know how much I need you with me through this.
A little over a year ago I met the love of my life. We had everything in common, he made me laugh, and I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. For a few months, he seemed to be in love with me, too. But after a few months, he just lost interest in me. He stopped wanting to have sex and acted like he was annoyed of me and that I was a chore. We broke up and 2 months later he was dating someone else. The girl he started dating is beautiful, smart, and has lots of friends. They are […]
I wish you cared like you told me you did.
I so desperately want to tell you what’s in my head, how I want to end my life, how all I really want is your help.
I need you, right now. But I’m too scared to let you know.
I want to find suicidal people in real life that I could have contact with. I just don’t know how!! It would be so great to have suicide societies where people who want to end their lives could get together, have open discussions, gather supplies, share advice, meet partners, and support each other. People this should be a basic right but its all criminalized. It’s all criminalized because of goddamned godless moral busybodies in the society that think it is their right to force everybody else to live. So what is this- a hollow dream? Just shows how unevolved the human race really is, that […]
If i could speak every language that has ever exsisted, i wish i could find the right combination of words to bring her back
by drase15
written by drase15
It has been a little over three years. I was in depression most of my life but thought that was how life was supposed to be. Until i met her. She was the light that pulled me out of the darkness, out of the lonliness. After dating for over a year i lost her. It has been 3 tears. I still dream about her. I still think about her constantly. I love her so much i cant look at other women. My family are just people i occasionally talk to. Love does not exsist in my life, or in my heart. I gave that to […]
the past few days have just been the worst I am seriously in so much emotional and mental pain. I havent ever felt more empty or hopeless than I do now and sometimes I just wanna say fuck it and grab my fucken gun and just try to end it and hope that i’ll be lucky enough to die. I swear it feels like a shitload of misery and sadness and hopelessness just fell out of the sky and landed right on me. I feel so alone right now so empty i’m sitting here just bawling me eyes out and I can’t stop I just […]
I tried to do it about 3 days ago. I tried to take my own life. It was a situation where it should have happened, and I was prepared for it. I had written all my notes to everyone who would have cared and I cleaned my room so it wouldn’t be a hassle afterwards. I was ready and I did it. I drank bleach until I couldn’t take it. I knew the end was near and my peace would soon come. But my peace never came. I woke up the next morning drowsy and in pain. But 3 days have now passed and the […]
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This is what I read upon arrival. Is this a joke? Don’t post hateful things? THATS WHAT SUICIDAL PEOPLE DO! It’s MY life and I hate it and everything it stands for and everything it might stand for because others always think they have the right to tell me what to do then they turn and hightail it through their brainwashed cerebral psyche feeling proud that they stuck their nose into my business then run me up the […]
I’m sorry, mom.
I’m sorry I fail to meet your expectations every day, I’m sorry I’m not doing well in school.
I’m sorry I’m not thin, or athletic, or pretty enough for you to be proud of me.
I’m sorry I am so torn up inside, I’m sorry I have chronic depression.
I’m sorry I don’t talk and walk like the girl you wish I were.
I’m sorry I have different opinions on what is worth my time.
I’m sorry I don’t do everything right the first time.
I’m sorry I can’t function correctly.
I’m sorry I am sad most of the time, I’m sorry I am a lot to handle.
I’m sorry I’m […]
What do you do when you are hated? Is it right to cut myself? Am I right for having suicidal thoughts or is that just another fuck up?
I have spent a long time reading through this site. But never posted.
For the last 3 years now is struggled with depression, caused by job stress, relationship etc. Over the last two month I hit a patch where my job and my boss brought me right down. I’d entertained the idea of suicide, but could never go any further than that because of my partner, whom I love very much.
So for two months I’ve fought back, getting back to a healthy state, then on saturday night, after a good day in the sun, drinking and enjoying my time with my partner and friends, I go […]
I have fucking everything
I wear namebrand makeup
guys who wanna talk to me
decent car,money,looks,young big boobs pathetic ass *****
So many things have changed. My best friend/cousin is dead. My relationship is deteriorating. Every night it’s the same. I think of her and how I wish she was still alive and how I want to be dead. It should have been me instead of her. Everything right now is such a mess. School. Friends. My relationship. I don’t eat right. All I have been thinking about is death. It’s been a year now with these thoughts. Maybe more time. My daydreams are about suicide, how I’d do it and when..
Suicide- I’ve thought of it before. They say it’s never the answer. The answer to what? To the struggle? To the pain? They’ll tell you that it gets better with time. But what if, in an attempt to make life better, or be patient, we went up messing up even more? It is really easy to give advice. But the truth is, that no one knows what we are feeling except us. We are afraid, of what life holds for us. It may be better, but it may also get worse. This ‘may’ starts us off. We can’t take the risk. Really, suicide is the […]