I wanna know what I did so horrible to get such a harf life like this I’m only 17 yrs old I lost my brother & dad to suicide I’m homeless my mom couldn’t care any less about me. It seems like all everyone ever wants to do is hurt & break me down What have I done to get such a hard life? Im terrified or death but it seems like its the only way out of this piece of shit life I have? What is the real meaning of all that I’m being put through cause it isnt to make me stronger. I […]
Tag:
Robot
I have not told anyone this but one of the reasons I’m gonna kill myself is because I will not live the 9 to 5 pace. I don’t want to work like a programmed robot doing the same thing everyday. Life does not sound interesting. What’s so appealing about stressing about money your whole life. I don’t want to keep living simply because people say I have too. My life has never been easy I’ve worked my ass off to get everything back to where it should be. Nothing is what it seems it sounds good but in the end it causes a hole in […]
I literally can’t cry anymore. 8th grade year I cried so much that I think all my tears dissapeared. I don’t cry on the outside, I cry on the inside. I hurt so much on the inside, but I don’t show any appearance of it on the outside. Like, the emotions and feelings are there, but I just can’t let them out. They’re dying to escape my body, but I won’t let them. I’m not a loving person, and I’m definetly not endearing. I just want to hide, or crawl under a dark rock for awhile and have time to myself, ya know? Nobody at school […]
Hi – I’m a 22 year old girl, and I have had the luck to find someone who is the perfect match for me. If something like a “soulmate” exists, then I found mine, the love of my life. However, over 4 months ago I lost him to amnesia….he’s a soldier and he experienced a very bad psychic trauma, since that he forgot nearly everything about his past and his life. Of course, I was gone too. Over the months some of his memories came back, but nothing about me…I only saw him twice in this condition, and the last time was over 2 months […]
I have been holding on for too long and I am slipping. I have no one up top to reach down and grab me, pull me up; and I have no one to catch me when I fall. I was once on the edge now I am dangling and ready to fall. I thought I could handle the weight of the world, fight on towards my future until the day I die. But I can’t. The world is depressing even-though there is so much fun around. I am so heart-broken even though I have friends, family, and a boyfriend who love me dearly. You may […]
5 Years ago today is when I tried to ctb. I was 16.
The events around it that triggered it, I admit, were bullshit but my reasoning behind it was not.
I got home from school. the bullshit that happened was that I thought I lost a friend, someone I loved, due to some stupid shit that happened that I thought was my fault. I blamed myself for everything back then. That’s what triggered it. My reason behind wanting to die is that I saw myself as a worthless person who could never do anything right and would never amount to anything in life. I […]
I shouldn’t complain about my life.It’s not like I wasn’t hugged as a child or anything. I should be strong like my dad and not complain about anything.I wish I could just stand there and take what life throws at me, but I can’t.And that is why i’m worthless.I know i’m not the first girl to be bullied at school ,to have to experiance death of a friend, Not the first teenager who feels like she is the stupid kid or the first girl in the world to get moslested or the first kid to get pushed around the hospitals phyicatric wards’ system when I […]
is what I’m trying to escape
http://everything2.com/title/Working+9+to+5%253A+The+modern+slavery
call me a lazy fuck, but I’d rather be dead than whore myself out to survive in a world I don’t even like
I’m sick of being told it’s normal or honorable to be stolen too much of your time
sick of being molded into living as a robot .. sick of this lifestyle where the cons outweigh the pros
a struggle with growing apathy .. to have little concern for too many things .. to live life in autopilot mode, doing things because you’re used or expected to and rarely because you desire to .. your soul is disconnected from this 3D reality, you have a wandering mind and your body is what keeps you trapped in a world you don’t want to be a part of
I’ve been living this way for 4+ years and I’m truly fed up with being half a zombie half a robot .. I’ve done a lot of introspection to find out I’m only interested in two things: total […]
I’m a long term suicide survivor. I know how hard it is and how it feels to want to die. So I’ve written a novel about a girl who goes down that path and ends up in a hospital, like I did, and actually gets help. When I present it at writer’s groups, they don’t understand why the girl wants to die just because the love of her life dumped her. Geez. These people must have robot “stable emotions,” like saw dust instead of guts. It’s never just one thing but sometimes it takes just one more thing to push a person over that edge.
The […]
I’m not sure what I’m doing here. All I know is today I feel really bad. I feel like an empty shell just living life as a robot. I am afraid of the darkness yet I want it to engulf me, I just want the pain to end.  It’s been so long living with heartache and the bad memories. I just feel like I want it all to end I’m so tired, so tired I just can’t out of this hole. I pray I can overcome this but I never can. I just it want it all to end just go into the darkness and dissapear.