I’ve been reading people’s posts here for about a year and it has helped keep me going. (Thank you all.) I never commented or posted but now I think I’m nearing the end and want to get more involved. I have hit rock bottom. It’s a long story but I lost my job and then I decided to quit all my meds last week because I’m tired of living in a fog. I currently feel incapacitated and I don’t know how I will go on. I live alone and I will run out of money soon. I have enough of a lethal drug to kill […]
Tag:
rock
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
Nihilism hit me hard in my seventeenth year of existence. Pretty much all my life i’ve been looking for some “truth” or purpose behind the universe, so the realisation that we are monkeys on a rock, slowly parading towards our deaths while filling the time with seemingly pointless endeavours was quite hard to swallow.
So, why are you alive? Whats your point?
For me, its the gym. I dont know what it is about it, but when i go, my mind clears and its just a battle of me against myself, having to push myself to the edge.
Feel your hands on the rock
Roll the rock up the hill
What did you do to deserve this hell?
When you get to the top
Watch it roll down again
As I feel closer and closer to the end i have a sense of happiness and excitement for some strange reason. I don’t know if it’s the thought of leaving everything behind and not having to suffer any longer or what awaits me on the other side. Last night I sat in my room looking at old family photos and it brought a smile to my face of all those happy memories but now so distant and forgotten. I’m just not cut out for this world never have and never will be, so what’s the problem in me just ending it all now? I have […]
how do you no when you’ve hit rock bottom?
I’m now at rock bottom and admit defeat!
My friend thinks I have post natal depression on top of bi polar and anxiety.
i can’t look after my babies properly, I’m exhausted from them both being up all night. I’m home alone all day with them, with 4 kids my house is a mess, dishes need washing, laundry need sorting but I can’t leave the babies as one climbs lots and the other screams. I’m lonely as my friends have older children and are studying or working, I fail as a mum , I’m really struggling and just don’t want to be here! Seriously what kinda mum […]
I challenge you, suicide project, to give me your best band references. Example: This is for all you rock and rollers, crash queens, and motor babies. Good luck!
I’d just like to take a moment to address all of the people that have related to my stories. Especially you Sammi, and you MissDysphoria. I write these things from my heart, and you say they’re beautiful, you say that they’re amazing and I can’t help but say thank you. Thank you for taking the time to read what I put down. I owe you everything for this, because I’m just some random person sitting behind a laptop with some shitty stories in his head. You took the time out of your day to read what I wrote and you resonated with it. I don’t […]
Just when I think that I got everything under control, life never ceases to throw a curveball my way. Moral of the story LIFE SUCKS always has, always will. What is hope nowadays? I feel like I’ve hit rock bottom for the thousandth time in two days. What to do, what to do?
I thought I hit rock bottom this weekend. I could barely get out of bed, and I didn’t do ANYTHING I had to do, no work, just staying in bed and watching movies I really didn’t care about. I tried to reach out for friends, but literally none of them wanted to go out, and it made me feel worse. Rejected. I was on the edge, thoughts about suicide invading my mind and I couldn’t control my crying.
I woke up today feeling completely different. I’m not that sad anymore, just numb, as if everything I’ve been feeling for the past three days is something really distant. […]
People used to always tell me I looked like my sister… she was my best friend through out all the shit we went through, never leaving my side and always by me. She was my rock but then things just got way out of control and then we separated and it’s still so new to me because I’m not used to not seeing her or her not coming to me for advice … no one told us how hard it is to loose someone so close to you. I wish she could see me living my dream and be there cheering me on but I […]
… and it’s true.
I was just told this by my GF after she ran through the checklist of all my failures and shortcomings. As if I was completely unaware and aloof of how utterly fucked I am and have been for the last few years. Now, I’m sure she means to somehow motivate me or in some other way try to light a fire under my ass to somehow ferret my way to at least a treading water type of existence in some clever way – she’d be ecstatic if I could manage that.
What’s funny (ironic/weird type funny … and in a twisted way funny ha […]
Cast across
This bitter ocean
Separated we are
And thusly maimed
Strangely you call
My forgotten name
Yet how long has it been?
Since the last
Tipsy the boat sailed
Crashing against rock
It fades away
Yet you appear
In my mind
You are so clear
I am the asphalt. You drive over me. Barley recognizing my existence. Composed of hard rock and soft tar. What do you see? I have many flaws, many pot holes. Is that all you notice? Still, I get you to work everyday. I suit your needs, your whim. I am around at 3am, when you feel a sudden need for chips and salsa. I am there the next day on your drive to work or the club. All you notice is the divot that inconveniences you. Your tire slamming into it. No harm done, an annoyance at best. You curse at me. Still, I will […]
I’m not used to being hated by everyone around me, everyone in my life. It fucking sucks. It also feels weird being totally alone; no one to talk to, no one to care about me, no one for me to care for. Typically, people love me and I’m lauded over my awesome personality and just overall likeable qualities. That’s not my own ego speaking. I literally would have at least one person a day at a very minimum go out of their way to express there admiration of one of my traits. But once again I’ve hit rock bottom and this time the […]
I know this place
Without hope
Without sound
I visit it often
I know this place
The solo rock
The dead spirits
The Angels who were never born
I know this place
Where false prophets
Make dreary promises
My drinks gone cold
I know this place
Where your face
Blends with the ground
Someone else lives your dream
I know this place
Where heaven comes in a pill
Where the laughter is always in the other room
Where you’re sure you already died
I know this place
Where warm faces
Turn to gargoyles
You’re afraid to lift your head
Today I watched
While some guy […]
So if you read my last post then you might know that I’ve been depressed since around seventh grade. So around that time (or maybe eighth grade, I don’t remember) I stumbled across this site and made an account. So, yes, this is my second account. I’m certain I made a few posts on here (or maybe one post) on that account, and I have this strange longing to find them or it and read it all. I know, it’s nearly impossible with the amount of posts, plus I don’t know my previous username, or what the post was even called. I know what you’re […]
Not only is this a great song, but I’d imagine that these lyrics can be interpreted by everyone here on a much deeper level than even intended.
B
….the bottle
The pills will make you insane
And if you don’t maintain your feelings
Your brain has already found a way
Instead you watch your hands shaking
The room is spinning, you’re getting dizzy, losing focus
And your thoughts are filled with images of a man in a red suit
Whispering ugly truths…
How did you get lost?
How did it get out of control?
You were on a right path
Then you turned left
Spiraling down a rabbit hole
Digging again another grave
Don’t make rock bottom your home
And tears are okay
Keep filling the jar
It’s been rough but not rough enough […]
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