Im completely done. I can’t take this anymore. everyone hates me, I m an awful friend and i ruin everything. people die everyday is it hat hard for me to die today. I have nothing sharp, nor rope, nor meds. what am I supposed to do. I don’t cry. but I can’t handle it anymore. I ruin everything.why am i so bad? why?
Tag:
Rope
honestly.
i cannot live this way, with my mind battering me into constant disintigration.
i am living for the peace of mind of my loved ones. they’d be destroyed if i killed myself. or so they say. i think that they’d be shocked (by the unexpectedness of exactly when it’ll happen) and saddened, then grieve, then pick up and continue on with their lives. with what they consider to be life.
my life cannot continue like this. i am finished. i am exhausted.
depression kills. put your family and friends on notice: this disease must be *taken seriously*. we can never ‘pull ourselves up’, ‘snap out of it’… if […]
I’m not suicidal, even though I have been in the past, but I want every one reading this to know they matter and that there are people around you who care and love you.
I lost one of my best friends just a week ago to suicide. He was depressed and under extreme pressure in his academic and social life. He didn’t believe that the girl he had been in love with for four years had any interest in him and that he was too dependent on her. She didn’t tell him while he was alive, but she loves him and thought that he deserved more […]
Just a high schooler. Honors classes, president of NHS, student council etc. good grades, good amount of close friends. I’m above average when it comes to school. But at school, I feel like I’m invisible, like if I were to die one day, it wouldn’t matter. And that goes for at home too. I’m not abused at all, or anything bad like that, but I have something wrong with me mentally, I crave attention. It’s to the point where I cut myself and don’t try to cover it. I have made myself throw up because I always get called names like “fatty” or “pig” by […]
I looked outside of my window this afternoon and noticed, as if for the first time, the wooden pillars that hold up a sheet over our patio. My thoughts instantly went to ‘I can buy some rope and hang myself there.’ and I smiled. It’s kind of pretty, it’s right next to a large bush of flowers that grows above our shed.
I think it might be too short for a proper hanging though, so I’ll have to somehow fix it.
It feels nice to have a decision.
Before I begin with my story, let me just say that I’m staring death in the face and I’m at the end of my pitiful rope. It’s a long story so please get comfortable. At the very end, is a letter to my love.
September 25, 2010 – The day my life would change forever.
I had been talking to this girl I liked for a while now, we had a lot in common, so we set up a movie date. September 25 was our first date. She looked beautiful that summer night. I remember what she wore, how her hair was, and most of all, that […]
Before I begin with my story, let me just say that I’m staring death in the face and I’m at the end of my pitiful rope. It’s a long story so please get comfortable.
September 25, 2010 – The day my life would change forever.
I had been talking to this girl I liked for a while now, we had a lot in common, so we set up a movie date. September 25 was our first date. She looked beautiful that summer night. I remember what she wore, how her hair was, and most of all, that long hug she gave me when I first walked up […]
My life sucks i’m 22 had already had numerous atempts all failed for no explaineble reason took a box of sleeping pills nothing happend tried to hang my self rope broke (strong dynema 5 mm thick witch is as strong as steel wire of 7 mm thick) broke for no aparent reason
Now i’m feeling like this again.
moved to an other country to be with my girlfriend left everything behind only took my 12 year old dog
he died few weeks ago one moment he was fine the next he’s laying dead in my arms didn’t get over that yet
and now suddenly with no apperant reason my girlfriend […]
life
Is it really worth it?
To have no hope for tomorrow
To believe in nothing
To have lost faith in god and man alike
To wish, nay beg for death just to end the suffering
That you never asked for to begin with
They say be grateful you’re alive
It’s a miracle they proclaim
That you lived through being electrocuted
And stabbed
And hung
And cut
And poisoned
And starved.
You should be thankful you’re alive!
They don’t realize that
volts cook muscle
Stabs leave scars
Rope leaves burns
Cuts leave marks
Poison leaves damage
And starvation kills the stomach
They don’t get that living through […]
Suicide has been very much on my mind for a long time. For as long as I remember, the thought of putting an end to my life would come up whenever I experienced pain, confusion, unhappiness. Pouf! Jump off the window and put an end to all that! That urge to jump into the air remains with me. I do consider other ways of killing myself from time to time, sleeping pills, hanging…hanging particularly appeals to me despite the gruesome sight of someone hanging from a rope. I don’t think I will act on those feelings. I have a child for whom I am responsible. […]
I really can’t take it anymore. I have scars everywhere. I can’t bend my arm or my wrist will split open. My girlfriend is gone, my therapist is on her side, my friends are on her side… I know that if the opportunity came for a quick death, I’d take it. I’m scared. If I found a gun or a lot of drugs or anything like that, I know that’d be it for me. My friends said everything is coming together, but it’s really falling apart. I can’t go back to the hospital, but if any of my counselors knows I’m suicidal again I’ll have […]
it feels like i just cant grip on to life,i remember sitting there like it was just yesterday,sitting down rocking back and forth having my arms rapt tight around my stomic from such intence hunger pain, in a cold basement with concrete floor an unfinished ceiling were you could tie a rope around a pipe and the other end around your neck and hang yourself, like i tempted to at age 14,i had noone, they finally put a bed down there after 6 months of me sleeping either outside somewhere or inside on a filthy moldy couch that had holes in it and smelt like […]
Well I am nearly there, though it does seem that someone is trying to persuade me to stick around a little longer with some amazing opportunities just landing in my lap this week…
Today 2 years ago I made the hardest decision of my life to discontinue treatment of the person I cared for most, and allow her to die. I know it was the right thing to do, however I think of her every day, and especially now as I near graduation I just see a gap where she would have sat.
I am still of sound mind, and my decision is still logical. With the […]
Who is this quiet girl?
The one with the scars
What makes her so deplorable?
Why is she so marred?
Why don’t you ask her?
“What is your life story?â€
Are you afraid to stir
A pot already overflowing?
Do you know sometimes
That’s all she needs?
A kind caring stranger
To let her feel seen
But you stay away
You never seem to think
About her or the fray
She keeps underneath
Why do you ignore
Her transparent mask?
Can you not see
She wants you to ask?
But you are repulsed
With no obvious cause
Why are you appalled
By someone so small?
Is it this aura of death […]
This was posted on Tumblr but I felt like it was worth sharing on here:
You’re sitting at your desk, and you know it’s time to go. You’ve said that to yourself over a million times, but this time you know, for sure, is real. You’re tired… you’re just so very tired. You’re parents pissed you off, like school wasn’t bad enough today. You go to get the rope, or the knife, or the gun or whatever you choose to use because you’re that desperate. You’re ready. You think of it as some game… the first one dead is the one who wins. No ones home, […]
I am a 39 year old woman. I have a roof over my head, four cats who love me and a fiance who begs me to move here from my home in Albany. I long to be a part of a family again. WE are both addicts though and I fear this will be done in vain. Im not sure what’s worse though…going home to my empty apt. where my children don’t live due to my depression, it’s dirty as I have given up the desire to clean, I don’t wash the way I did, make up and professional haircuts don’t […]
When you find yourself hanging on a thread, Grab hold of the rope I’m throwing you and hold on with everything you have…
The stipulations you live under sound like prison, it must really suck to have so many things controling what you have to do and when you can do it… You know its funny when you take a good look around and see who is really in control, all… the reasons why and the excuses show your true power so look at it good and study it till you figure it out… Im just going to tell it like it is, forget trying to […]
It seems on this web site I am in good company as the comments I have read here I can relate to and it’s been so long since I could relate to anything. Â I have been on anti depressants for 10 years. The last few weeks I have hit the end of my rope. Â I cannot cope. Â I am now planning my suicide which will most likely be an overdose and it is the only thought I can gleam comfort from, the knowledge that my destiny is in my control and that all the fighting will soon be over. Â I have 3 children and they […]
I had my first suicidal thoughts last December… Triggering factor? Have no idea. At first it was just ideas like «i think it would be much better if i was going far far away». After, reflections on life, death, suffering… images of death… images of my death in dreams… and… after… images of my death when im awake, when i watch a movie, when i laugh to a good joke with friends… i see myself everywhere dying… for over a month now…. I see myself hanging by a rope in the corner of my office… or injecting myself a high dose of morphin, which i […]
I’ve been on the end of my rope now for about a week. So many things have been going wrong and getting so much worse. The reality of physically not having anywhere to go after I move out of the dorms for the summer is really starting to sink in. I tried to convince my boyfriend that we should stop seeing eachother to make it easier for him when I go. I can really see that there’s no getting better for me. I feel like it would be easier for him if we weren’t together when it happens. He was so confused and it made […]