Trying..to be happy for the sake of my friends. I know I burden them and all of you with my constant sadness. I try..and sometimes when I type the faces, they arent real. Theyre cover ups. I’m crying right now…i started crying inadvertantly. Not sobbing or moaning..just crying. Tears stream down my cheeks and plop onto my keyboard..because of the pain i feel inside..so much pain that its starting to bleed through to the outside…it hurts. This isnt just any breakup..this is THE breakup..the breakup that will break me..is breaking me. And the fact that im sitting here crying silently with tears tumbling out of […]
Tag:
Sadness
My name is Jessica. I am 13 years old and I’m a very sad person. I’ve hurt loved ones, been hurt, and been abandon by the only people I’ve trusted.
When I was 6, my parents split up. It was a very hard time for my brother and I. He was only 8. I don’t really remember much, just one day I came home from school and my father told me that if he and my mom got into one more fight, he was leaving us. The following day, he kept his word. They worked out custody and all that, and I lived with my mom […]
i havent been on here in so long, i forgot about how sad i was until i read all of these posts i put up. i came back for one reason and one reason only, to say goodbye to this website. i dont need it anymore 🙂
i have the guy of my dreams, my mother and me are happy, and im just happy. i dont cry as much anymore i mean, i still do but thats either period related or just missing my daddy. but im happy
so i over came my suicide. my dark moments filled with pain and sadness. gone, all the pain is […]
the amassing depression. the self-loathing, self put down. the little voice in my head telling me that i should just kill myself and be free. my fucking straight edge calling me from the drawer. my psych meds transforming into an image of freedom. fuck fuck fuck!!! how wonderful it would be, the bus driver not being able to stop in time. or the gun salesman not knowing my true intention. fuck here come the fucking tears. the kind of sadness that make me feel weak and lonely. except for the fact that i am alone and lonely. i’m a pathetic excuse for a human being. […]
im in 8th grade. i went to a public school but at the moment im @ a learning center. how was i supposed to go to school when, whenever i turn the corner im being beat up, threatened with knifes, pushed to the ground and called fat, ugly, whore, ****, freak, creep, big boobed peice of s***, lousy turd, stupid, dumb. its so hard to handle. the only thing i could do was run into the bathroom sit against the wall and cut. i made that mistake in 2nd grade. a girl told me i looked like a dirty cow!!! so i asked the teacher […]
I’m the good girl in my family. The smiling one. The girl who’s always offering to help out around the house. The girl my parents have never really had to worry about. I only ever argue with my sister, and I get on really well with almost my whole family. I’m the bright, spirited one. I have an opinion on everything, but I accept everyone. I’m the kind and loving girl and my parents constantly tell me how much I mean to them.
But that’s changed so suddenly.
In just a matter of days, I’ve fallen apart.
The thoughts have been there for years, but only now are […]
Just recently in January on the 14th, my BFF committed suicide. She was basically the only one I had to keep me thinking positive and always knew something was wrong. I miss her hugs, her laugh, her boston accent even though we don’t live in Mass.
Me and her were both “depressed”, going through hard times in both of our lives. Except, the only thing that was holding her down was her sexuality and Bipolar disorder. I was being bullied and heart broken almost every day.
She was a cutter and harm, I was a screamer and a crier. Still am.
If only she was […]
I’ve gotten a request or two for my story so here it goes. I was born into a fading family. My dad bailed n left my mom, leaving her with a 4 year old son and me, an unborn child. She decided she couldn’t care for both of us, so she gave me to my adoptive parents. They’re possibly two of the worst people on the planet. From age one, they imposed their wills on me. They hovered around me constantly and everything I did had to be approved. My dad liked to “play fight” and manipulate my joints to cause pain. He threw me […]
I guess this is what complete sadness feels like…to be completely hopeless(hope is only magical thinking anyway). I know why I pushed my ex away in those last few days. But, I’ll never know when or why she decided to leave(she was “gone” before I pushed her away); everything is an assumption.
I know you said if it was true love then I’d do everything I could to find it again, even with someone else. But, do you remember what you said to me when you were separated from your wife and living with Friend B? You said you would never love anyone as much as […]
So, I’ve never kidded myself about my life, or in this case, death. I’m not concerned with proving to myself I matter to someone, and I’m not just being a drama Queen. I’m not doing this because of a high school romance or because my Daddy won’t get me a new Ferrari What I feel isn’t really even sadness or anger. In fact, I rarely even talk to anyone about my problems, and most people think I’m an optimist.
I just feel an unbearable blankness bearing down on me all the time. Knowing that I am nothing. My grades have dropped, and I can feel people’s expectations of me dropping, […]
I’ve written about this before but I feel the need to write about it again. When I’m depressed I’m happy.
Let me explain…
Today for the first time in awhile I wasn’t depressed at all. I haven’t been on any antidepressants for two days and all of a sudden I can breathe. I’m tempted to start taking them again so I get worse. When I’m depressed people worry about me. It’s the only time I know they actually care about and love me. They take care of me so I don’t have to. I guess too that I’m so familiar with sadness, hopelessness, helplessness, hatefulness, shame, guilt […]
or it certainly seems and feels like I will.
I have had mental health problems for years now and I have always actively tried to help myself. I have always sought help and have been medicated for a long time. I think it was hard because I was never ill enough for it to be noticed by anyone but ill enough for it to interfere with my life daily.
I just hate myself. Every time I close my eyes, my mind is screaming for me to end it. I just cant do it any more and I have no other choice. I have never visualised myself being […]
My favorite movies when I was growing up was Lethal Weapon and An Officer and a Gentleman which was. I was approximately six years old when I saw both of these films.
In the movie Lethal Weapon a dominant theme is that of the insanity of one of the main characters, Detective Martin Riggs, and his suicidal behavior brought about by the trauma of the death of his wife. While in An Officer and a Gentlemen a major point in the plot is the suicide of one of the main characters, Sid Worley. Sid commits suicide after his lover rejects his proposal of marriage(because Sid dropped […]
What am I afraid of?
I guess the feeling that I am completely alone and that there was nobody to help me. In that moment, I felt all the other times in my life when I had been left alone and in pain. It felt like a knife was jabbing into an open wound on my chest. I could barely breathe, My sadness was so deep that it blinded me to any other realities. My biggest fear has surfaced. I believed that I would be stuck forever in the empty, painful feeling of my loneliness.
i want to disappear, forever. it’s been a year, the most agonizing and painfully slow year of my life. i should be better, but i’m not.
recently, i was admitted into a psychiatric unit as an inpatient. i was on suicide watch. they locked me in a room and had a police guard sitting outside my door. then i was diagnosed with depression and borderline personality disorder. i had to call my mom. she cried. it hurt.
i cut. i hate myself. i hate my elephant body. i count calories meticulously, but i also go on terrible binges. i purge. my sad bouts get progressively worse. i […]
So, I guess i’ll tell you about myself. My name is Zoe. spelled Zoe pronounced Zoey. Iv’e always been a happy kid. or so everyone thinks so. no one really knows how i feel. they don’t bother to look past the smiles and see the constant pain and emptyness I feel. I shouldnt be complaining though, ive got a roof over my head, clothes on my back, family and friends. BUT IM NOT HAPPY!
When I was young, and id get stressed or sad, id bite myself and scream into my arm until I felt relieved. It always left a big mark.. it felt good. […]
So my wife left me about one month ago. She was constantly lying to me. We would agree on something and she would do the total opposite. I would ask her question and know she was lying.
She is 10 years younger than me….and I had more wealth when we got married. She now makes more money than me. She also sign pre-nup before we got married. I brought a house with the money i sold from my apartment and the house is under my name.
Well fast forward a year later…she tells me that she want the house under her name and she won’t help with […]
I’ve read quite a few stories on here and found it helpful to put my own issues into perspective. It hurts to read how many people are suffering. I wish there was something I could do to help…but I can barely help myself. Every setback or failure makes me feel like I’m ready to let go…and every success or good thing makes me feel undeserving and on the verge of failure. It’s so difficult to see that things do get better. Especially when you’ve been alone for such a very long time and you know you’re not typical or normal or not sure you’re worth […]