I know that most of you don’t know my story or what I’ve been through and what I’m going through now, the thing is, my story is a little too long, but right now…I just need help…my parents keep dragging me down and day by day my suicidal thoughts grow bigger and bigger and bigger…I’m just about ready to put on my black dress, my white floral heels, my floral black net leggings, do my hair and make-up, right a good bye note to my family and take the bottle of pills I’ve been stashing up, 197 of them 20mg each, that’s 3,940mg in me, […]
Tag:
save me
Okay. I’ve never done this before. I’m not open about these sorts of things, mainly because the people that are meant to love me and support me are the ones that are causing me the most distress. Only two people in my life have actually loved me – one changed to hating me when I let them crack away at the surface, and the other doesn’t know half of what the first did. I know that I am unloved, and no matter what I always will be. It’s just who I was born as.
There’s a friend I’ve been talking to about some of this because […]
We are here, we are here, we are here!
Who wants to be ignored?
Who wants to spill their guts and be met with the snores of the disinterested masses?
Who wants to reach for help and get knocked back on their asses?
We are here, we are here, we are here!
Who wants a little more?
Who wants to not have to implore some poor friend-relative-stranger to dip their toes into the danger of caring even a little?
Who wants to stop whittling away at their lives and themselves and see with new eyes?
We are here, we are here, we are here!
Who– tell me now– who […]
I am not smart, not beautiful or pretty, have spent my whole life in a little black isolated hole which I cannot seemed to climb out of … my life is a huge black pit of depression and sadness and pain and I don’t know how to escape. When I was nine I was raped for three years by my brother, I’ve been cutting for ever since… I’m 17 now. I have no friends… No one who loves me for me…. I spend all my time watching time pass me by because I just have no power of what to do. I hope and pray […]
I need help but screaming wouldn’t save me even if I could
I have tried to hang in there as long as I could. Waited and waited for the only thing that could save me. But she (and them) chose to let me be. She didn’t find it in her heart to save the man that used to be her entire world. The man who did everything for her (and them) for 5 1/2 years. No, that must have never happened. Our relationship must have never existed. I, therefore, never existed.
It must be a heavy burden to carry. Being the one thing that can save a human life. And yet, when faced with the same choice in […]
nothing is worth it anymore. I fuck up in innumerable ways without even trying. Turning to alcohol just makes it worse, causing even bigger failures. I never thought my life would turn out like this. Yes, I am smart, I have a future, how could I be so selfish, I have everything handed to me. I’m a wreck of human, inadequate at life, I have no purpose, no reason. I have messed up nearly everything and don’t want to wake up to face my consequences of anything. I’m reckless, and very soon I won’t be here any longer, unless the cats I work with this […]
I guess I could keep trying to be poetic but fuck it
I just want someone to save me really
I try to be a really good person. I enjoy doing things for people, especially strangers, to make them feel good. I hugged a random girl crying on the phone the other day. I’ll compliment random people’s outfits, makeup, or hair when I get the chance and overcome my anxiety. I have a friend I met at college named Jess and she is the nicest, sweetest person I think I know. I wonder what made her that way. The fact she helped me out when I needed it most, barely knowing me at the time. She’s pretty much always there for me. She drove me […]
I need someone to save me ’cause I can’t even save myself….
There’s no point. Go inpatient, I fail a course capstone project. Go inpatient, I am still nothing when I get out. Stay out, I will find a way. I will make the impossible possible. I do not want anymore pain and loneliness. Stop trying to save me to make yourselves feel good. You’re making me miserable.
“I love you more” ….these words are haunting me now. I used to say them to you, when we were in love and together. Now, you’ve said you’re done, that nothing can save our love, our lil family. So it’s true. I do love you more. I love you so much I can’t stand not being without you, talking to you, can’t stand you not in my life. One day that you’ll be with another man, in love with him, in his arms, making love to him, calling him baby. I can’t take that pain, and you won’t save me. Told you I’d kill myself […]
Alice loved this so much Alice wanted to make it it’s own post, Alice feels like it needs to receive the attention it deserves Alice marvelous at how simple yet touching these words can be. So true Alice agrees it is so true
Save me? No.
But when I had someone who loved me, I was stronger and could take the unending waves that threaten to pull me under.
When I had someone who loved me, I had more confidence […]
I’ll be fine, less down. going about my day, and WHAM, a sense of despair, of sadness, of desperation strong enough to metaphorically (and sometimes literally) drop me to the ground will slam into me. Just out of nowhere, the pain is so much, too much. I don’t want this anymore. Please, make it stop. If there’s a higher power, if there’s a dash of kindness in the universe, make it stop. Make me stop. Let me die. I can’t handle this. I don’t want to feel this anymore. There isn’t anywhere for me on this […]
I’ve never done anything like this before. I guess I’m just looking for anything or anyone to save me. I’ve been depressed all my life. Things have happened and everyone seems to always try and justify them..along with myself. I tried so hard to push it the back of my mind , I just want to forget it all. It’s always something happening, and I can’t escape for any of it. I feel stuck. I’m drowning my own self. I’m loosing this battle . It’s scary. I always think that maybe one day I’ll just have enough…and I’ll loose. It scares the living shit out […]
Hey everyone,…
I ‘m new Here.
And…
I’m lost right now….
Everything goes wrong in my head for 7 years… It goes up and down but i know now nothing will never be fine. I think I’m a lost cause. Last year i décided to see a therapist for the first time and I must take now neuroleptics for my anxieties.
Since 7 years all i wanted to do was get away from the others… I never trusted anyone. But last year something changed, and I could finally have a true friend… Someone who was here everytime it goes bad, someone to talk to, someone who […]
Question: If no one is here to save me from the demons, and supposedly I can’t rely on others am I all alone?
I have fought the monster in my head called depression for so long. I am sorry that people have tried to save me and that it wasn’t enough. I am trying to restrain myself from the pills that sit next to me on the table. All of those medications that tried to make me better, THEY DID NOT WORK. The depression has worsened, I fake a smile and try to be anyone but the fucked up, messed up, person I am. I seem […]
I know I cut,
i know I’m crying,
i hear you saying I have to keep trying,
i know what they called me,
you don’t have to save me.
i know your parents hate me,
I know no one would ever date me,
I know you think I’m exaggerating,
but you don’t understand the pain I’m feeling,
I wish I could just be dying,
I’m tired of just surviving .
The world was on fire and no one could save me but you.
It’s strange what desire will make foolish people do.
I never dreamed that I’d meet somebody like you.
And I never dreamed that I’d lose somebody like you.
No, I don’t want to fall in love with you.
What a wicked game to play, to make me feel this way.
What a wicked thing to do, to let me dream of you.
What a wicked thing to say, you never felt this way.
What a wicked thing to do, to make me dream of you and I.
Nobody loves no one.
Hello my fellow SP users, this is your neighborhood unlicensed, untrained, and not so neighborly therapist. I hope some of you may remember my post from a while back. If not let me refresh your memory, it was an explanation of addiction and depression and other mental disorders such as OCD. I never told you all my story. The first time I can ever remember being suicidal was when I was ten years old or so, my brother and sister had been picking on me and my mom had yelled at me for it, I felt like hell and I wished desperately that the issues […]