Tag:

Scars

Jealousy

by solace 12/22/2012

written by solace

I was wondering if this happened to anyone else.

Recently i met someone that i knew had mental issues, as a cutter myself i often look for scars on others, i don’t know why, but i like to look.

After not being able to find an scars on him, I found myself feeling somewhat jealous of others with bigger scars that are moreÂ noticeable, i felt somewhat disappointedÂ in myself that i didn’t have bigger and better scars to ‘show off’ i guess.

Just for the record, i am not ashamed of my scars/cuts etc, i would gladly show them off as i find them to be the most beautiful […]

12/22/2012 3 comments

Here it goes in the life of me

by BrooklynBoxx 12/19/2012

written by BrooklynBoxx

Tommorow i have a christmas party, at school.

Its suppose to be 75 degrees outside

While everyone else is wearing short sleeved shirts and capris.

Ill be wearking my skinney jeans and long sleeves.

With such fresh cuts as deep as mine

I’ll keep them to my self

Because their mine

Here goes another day living in the life of me…

14 supposedly a beauty queen

FinallyÂ in her teens

Always out there causing a scene

Skipping meals to finally become lean

WishingÂ she could be truly seen

Here it goes in the life of me..

12/19/2012 11 comments

Things going on inside my head..

by Abselom 12/18/2012

written by Abselom

Okay, well I have friends. I do. I hang out with them sometimes too. but why do i still feel so alone? I call them my bestfriends, which in most cases is true… but at the same time.. they know NOTHING about me. They know the crazy girl.. the one who likes to party, whose had sex, gotten high and gotten drunk.. But the true part of me that matters most.. they dont know exists.. The part of me that cries myself to sleep at night. The part of me that has scars, and cuts.Â The part of me who almost committed suicide and still […]

12/18/2012 9 comments

Another Failed Attempt The First in Months

by BrooklynBoxx 12/18/2012

written by BrooklynBoxx

I attempted suicide last night again.. but as you can tell i didnt succede. I took a handful of prenatal vitaims but just ended up heaving my guts out along with some blood. My dad and i got in a huge fight, cause i hung up on him in the morning while running for the bus.

It got worse when he planned TWO doctor appointments in the middle of my end of course test. I was pissed so i sent him a angry text in all caps. Then when i got home i went to a friends to install a game onto my computer and we […]

12/18/2012 5 comments

Should i use my scapel?

by BrooklynBoxx 12/17/2012

written by BrooklynBoxx

Here i sit in class, reviewing for my end of course exams.. and all i can think about is suicide.. Cutting, im thinking about using my scapel for the first time. The sharpness is 0.6mm.. does anyone know how sharp that is .. like if i were just to press it lightly to my skin how deep would it cut me? I know many of you are gonna tell me not to cut, and are probally gonna avoid anwsering the question i dont blame you. But i wanna know ive looked it up on google […]

12/17/2012 1 comment

i’ve lost count

by death4kisses 12/17/2012

written by death4kisses

they took a picture of me during lunch hour the other day. and by they i mean my ‘friends’. actually, i’m not even friends with the boy who took the picture. he just hangs out with my ‘friends’. anyway, he took a picture and showed the girl next to him. they started laughing. i figured it was a picture from facebook or something. then one of the girls asked ‘what?’. the girl who first saw the picture said ‘trust me. you don’t want to see it’. the boy sent the picture to that girl and then showed the other people around him. they were all […]

12/17/2012 3 comments

You have no idea

by I.cant.breathe! 12/16/2012

written by I.cant.breathe!

Me and my friend are sitting in my room im putting on makeup like i always do…i put it on my scars though not my face. and she just sits there staring at me “what? why are you staring?” i ask her “It’s just, you say your depressed. but why are you depressed you have no reason you have the perfect life! I mean, your popular, your beautiful, the dance is like two months away and you already have 23 boys wanting to take you! why are you so depressed?” I think about it, and i know the answer but it sounds stupid even in […]

12/16/2012 2 comments

what they dont know…

by I.cant.breathe! 12/15/2012

written by I.cant.breathe!

Hey says my friend kelsie as she slides into the booth with the rest of us. hey we reply. ok says amber time to start! (in case your wondering this is my group my friends my club. every saturday we get together at this ice cream place and talk about whatever. it normally ends up with us gossiping about people, and yesterday the topic changed to to something quite interesting…) okay so guess what i learned about maredith welsh said cassy (the leader,somehow dont ask me how probably a miracle, i am friends with what society calls “the populars” they know EVERYTHING about everything at […]

12/15/2012 2 comments

Reason for staying.. My Mother..

by Abselom 12/14/2012

written by Abselom

Where do i start? My mom is my everything. we are exactly alike, well i guess im exactly like her! But she tells me all the time, that im just like her, only more open about it, and at a younger age. its hard to explain. people that know my mom and i understand, they can just tell how we are together. Example? I had an issue with my Chemistry teacher last year, and my mom called him. He said at the end of the call “I can tell youre her mom, you two have the exact same inflections”Â This man was on the phone […]

12/14/2012 4 comments

excuses???

by I.cant.breathe! 12/14/2012

written by I.cant.breathe!

so lately my friends have been noticing my scars from cutting and theyre questioning it. theyre always talking about how stupid cutting is and how depressed people are crazy and need to be in a mental hospital so i cant tell them the truth about the scars so i need some good excuses, i ve been using “my cat attacked me” story but its not working that well anymore since thats what i always say so any excuses i could use???

12/14/2012 6 comments

Hope

by MusicMatters 12/14/2012

written by MusicMatters

There was a time years ago when I was so depressed, I cried myself to sleep every night but everyday, I smiled. I was a clown whoÂ couldn’tÂ wash off her make-up. I didnt really know myself, a girl I was “in love” with broke my heart, lied to me and led me on. And yes, it sent me further into depression. I did some drugs, pills. I drank some, vodka. But really, what depressed me the most is everyone thought I was fine and looking back now, I know thats what really bothered me. My family thought I was fine, hell, everyone thought I was fine. […]

12/14/2012 2 comments

weird connection

by done-924 12/13/2012

written by done-924

Recently, I’ve befriended this guy during my math class. I’ve always known of him since all of my friends are his friends, and he always appeared to be this average, hilarious, nice, druggy guy, which he is, but at the same time he is so much more. I like his presence more than he likes his own.

One day, he looked over to me and just goes “you are depressed or have been” and I was shocked. Then he was like “you used to cut” just sort of guessing facts at me. And I asked him how he knew and he told me that he just […]

12/13/2012 1 comment

Tomorrow

by Naturally_UnNatural 12/9/2012

written by Naturally_UnNatural

“Where you gonna be tomorrow? How’re you gonna face the sorrow? Where are you gonna be when you die?” -Tomorrow, Nikki Sixx

I was letting music play while I cut and this song came on.Â I know the song by heart, as well as the other songs on the album.Â Nikki Sixx is my hero.Â He’s helped me see that I’m beautiful, scars and all.Â I feel strong, even though I’ve been cutting.Â I fell to the ground and slammed my head on the floor.Â There’s a huge bump and bruise, but that’s my own fault.Â I shouldn’t have been standing and cutting at the same […]

12/9/2012 1 comment

Old picture

by BrooklynBoxx 12/9/2012

written by BrooklynBoxx

When i made this cut i was scared. I had just traded an ounce of weed for a brand new box cutter, a kid bought me from home depot. Stupid i know i could have got it myself but with your dad watching you every moment of the day it was kinda hard. I said it was for protection.. protection from my thoughts.. but he gave it to me. No other questions ask even knowing my history.

I went home a couple days past and then me and my parents got in a huge fight. […]

12/9/2012 13 comments

Until the day I die

by lostchild445 11/26/2012

written by lostchild445

Words and whispers I can’t get to leave my head

The voices call; they want me dead
The asylum grows closer as I grow colder and the threat of pills stays my hand’s blade
One more mistake is all it takes to send me back, and kill my hopes of moving forward.
Â My school work, my Â job, it’ll all be over.
Â Medicines will consume me, taking over my mind.
No longer will I find pleasure in writing lines or playing rhythms, the ability lost in the crusade of science and therapy.
Trust will be dismissed, me reverting to the life of a prisoner for two weeks then a man on probation for […]

11/26/2012 3 comments

Then they ask why….

by DarkSnow-Leopard 11/26/2012

written by DarkSnow-Leopard

Why I am so paranoid…

Why I refuse to make new friends…

Why I always hide what I feel behind tongues…

Why I think the worst of people whom I had never met…

Why I never get close to anyone…

Well, I will tell you.. But only once for my memory isn’t the best and reliving what had happened only scars me even more…

He was there for me. He wasn’t my significant other or anything, in fact he was more of a big brother to me. You see I used to have an older brother, but he passed away due to cancer.. After many years of not having and older […]

11/26/2012 0 comment

I’m Still Breathing…

by stillbreathing 11/25/2012

written by stillbreathing

I’m still breathing, the blood is still rushing through my veins, my hands are still moving. From the outside, everything seems to be okay. I seem like a normal high school girl, with a bubbly personality, always smiling, always happy. If only they would take the time to look beneath that mask I put on everyday. If only they would go that extra step to notice that the countless scars on my arm are not from my rabbits, but from my Swiss knife. If only they would realize that their words kick me over the edge every time.

I could probably spend ages going through each […]

11/25/2012 2 comments

Class Reunion

by EmM 11/24/2012

written by EmM

Iâ€™m sitting outside the hotel.

I donâ€™t want to go in there.

Itâ€™s only a class reunion,

But what if they stare?

Twenty-five years ago,

Did they really even know me?

Will they remember the pain they caused?

Did they even see?

I tried not to let it show.

I had to stay strong,

But with their mean words and actions,

I was almost gone.

Itâ€™s a miracle Iâ€™m still here.

Itâ€™s a miracle I was found.

Hanging by a thread,

Close to six feet underground.

I havenâ€™t seen anyone in forever.

Last they knew I was in rehab.

Doctors wouldnâ€™t let me go back.

A better life, they wanted me to have.

So I couldnâ€™t be around them.

Not anymore.

They didnâ€™t know when I left

That […]

11/24/2012 0 comment

Life’s full of new challenges..

by kakei7 11/24/2012

written by kakei7

So I’ve struggled with depression for years now. I’d say since I was about 13-14. Middle school was when I first contemplated suicide & it was after my very first boyfriend broke up with me. We didn’t date very long & things never got past first base. I’ve always been an emotional person, letting things get to me that shouldn’t.

Well over the years I’ve had my fair share of boyfriends (back to back really), and I wear my heart on my sleeve. I’ve realized I may have developed some co-dependency issues from the lack of knowing how to be alone. And to this day, guys […]

11/24/2012 3 comments

Nickelback- lullaby

by Bri 11/23/2012

written by Bri

I know the feeling
Of finding yourself stuck out on the ledge
And there ain’t no healing
From cuttin’ yourself with the jagged edge
I’m tellin’ you that it’s never that bad
And take it from someone who’s been where your at
You’re laid out on the floor and you’re not sure
You can take this anymore

So just give it one more try
With a lullaby
And turn this up on the radio
If you can hear me now
I’m reachin’ out to let you know
That you’re not alone

And you can’t tell, I’m scared as hell
‘Cause I can’t get you on the telephone

11/23/2012 4 comments

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