I’m sorry in advance if my spelling and such get a bit messy in this post, too much to say to be able to concentrate.
My mom gave me a Zippo today with her old initials and my dad’s, and much earlier I had reflected on the story about the boy who soaked his bath robe in gasoline and lit himself on fire.
I’ve been cutting lately, and one is in plain sight. I wrote over it in sharpie, but its red around it so I assume people have noticed. I confessed to someone I plan to befriend that I cut earlier, but I said […]
Tag:
Second Chance
I’ve been feeling depressed for a while now, basically for the last 10 years or so. Really the one person who has kept me from thinking about suicide, and who got me to stop cutting has been my girlfriend for the last four years. A couple days ago she tried to tell me that things weren’t really working out, and basically she thought it would be best if we took a break from being in a relationship. At the time she made a convincing argument, basically saying neither of us has time, effort, or financial stability to deal with a relationship. I’m under the impression […]
I had a pretty good weekend and im staring to fell better. But the problem is everywhere I turn my past comes back to haunt me. Everyone around me is doin drugs and drinking, im finally trying to get clean but its hard. But ill keep soldiering on. I watched a documentry about suicide tonight and I dont think I could put my friends and family through that hurt. Though I might be in a better place the people I leave behind will have to deal with that grief for the rest of there life. Im so young I have a lifetime to live, I realized this […]
if your with someone and you find out they were talking to a crap ton of others girl for a while, when do you draw the line? he hasn’t talked to any of them in about three weeks but I’m constantly afraid he is going to start up again and then decide he likes one of those girls better. he has done it before, broke up with me for someone he just met an hour before breaking up with me. and I just found out he was watching one of the girls via web cam when she was horny. why does he do these things […]
I used to be a very happy person. In fact, I was that loud and annoying kid who was always laughing and didn’t care what others thought. I do well in school; I dont really try very hard and I get all A’s. I have friends; they all think I’m the happiest guy alive. At school, I still act happy even now; I don’t want them to know. I have a girlfriend; a beautiful, sexy, funny, silly girlfriend, and I loved and still love her very very much. But on October 1st, 2011, she sent nudies to one of her guy friends. When I found […]
In both cases, I have many secrets. Many told and twisted, others kept in shame. I could make this post very long and quite wordy; however, I will leave out as much shame as necessary. First off, everything in my life seems perfect. Too perfect. I have a great husband, great dogs, house paid off, little debt, and all of the other “blessings” we all find in this world. We live a quite normal life, as much as we can anyways. But, I am still sad..all of the time. Over and over, I think about how much I should not be sad, should know my […]
So my 20th birthday was a few days ago and things looked like they were starting to get better. Wasn’t feeling depressed, as much, and looking forward to a new college course which starts on the 27th of August. Also got back into football (soccer) and even got invited to join a couple of teams after impressing in a game. Well, I played in a game tonight and I was awful! Got beat 3-1 and all 3 goals were my fault. I’m a goalkeeper by the way. Doubt I’ll get asked back. Birthday night out was rubbish aswell! Basically people used it as an excuse […]
Hello again –this is my second post and will be my last —this is the last month i will be alive—i can barely walk anymore and being stuck in my appt losing my mind seriously and figuratively.–m.s is a horrible disease-it doesnt kill you persay but for some like me you watch you life die infront of you and your body stops working for you and only provides pain. and you cant even hope to keep your  mind because that goes to–so to me it takes the point away from life when i cannot live it or even remember what has happend what i  did other […]
So guys I know most the stuff posted on this site is depressing but I wanted to tell you about a friend of mine. He shot himself point blank in the forehead. Luckily people found him just a few minutes later and he was still alive. He was rushed to the hospital and put in ICU. Somehow either miraculously or whathaveyou he survived. No, he is not a vegetable either, actually now that inearly 6 months have passed, he is having conversations, standing up, solving difficult puzzles and going through physical and mental therapy. I hope to god […]
i’m a 16 year old girl. never done anything bad really, except for white lies and secret boyfriends (from my parents). But I guess it is what has led me to how I feel now.
It’s started since 6 years ago when my sister became a disappointment to my parents. And well, coming from a South Asian culture, stereotypical, it had to do with the influence of the Western society, new found independence (she was 18) and lack of grades. It costed my parents a lot and that I understood. After that year abroad, she had to return to India and took my mother with her, I […]
i was only five when my mom met my step father,i liked him.but when he started getting comfterable around me,thats when he became aggresive.He would scream at me for no reason and tell my mother things i never did.But of course my mother believed him.one day he was extremly drunk.i remember the day faintly.but i knew for sure i wasnt going back to that house when my mother was giving him a second chance.I stayed with my grandparents until my mother wheeled me back home.My stepfather said he would get help,but slowlybegan to drink more.I was annoyed that he kept talking to me while he […]
Here we are again back on the bad track of life. I keep telling myself i just a need a second chance, a new start but i don t think it would change anything. The only thing i need to change is me. I am going to stop feeling, stop caring. If you could see me now, whispering those uncertain words and smiling because i don t think i ‘ ll ever be able to shout down my emotions. one of my greatest weakness that is destroying me and watching my mind decaying part by part.
I tried to put myself to sleep again. Forever… I […]
Doesn’t look like there are any Aussies here at all.. wish I could make pact. I was planning to go out and try buy Heroin today and overdose on that. I thought what a brilliant way to go, floating away on a high… but I’m scared that I don’t know where to get it and it could cost more money then I have to get enough to OD… so… I’ve been doing alot of research. I agree. If we really believe we want to die and the pain of living is worse then the pain you may cause for anyone you may leave behind, you […]