Today, one of the worst days of my life. It well.. started yesterday. Me and my boyfriend had an argument. Turns out he doesnt trust me. This is the second time he thinks im cheating on him! Anyways, we were talking..them came the yelling, and well then nothing. He left. Just like that. So today, at school i tried to talk to him, say sorry. But he would ignore me the whole time. I ended cutting again… Its been like 2 weeks that i havent cut until today..at school. I guess i needed it again. To help me take my mind off things. and […]
Second Time
I’m a fifteen year old girl in the 10th grade and I have never felt so miserable in my entire life. I’m tired of being that optimistic girl that fakes a smile for the sake of everyone else. Most of my friends know about my depression but they think I’m okay at the moment. Last night I was almost positive I wanted to die, but instead of acting on the instinct to kill myself, I just lied in bed shaking and crying. I could never tell my mom that I feel like I want to die sometimes because it would either break her heart or […]
So in the last month I’ve tried to commit suicide three times and have been in the hospital twice. I admitted myself and was there for 72 hrs the first time which didn’t help at all.. the second time they really tried to help and it did for a day or so. They diagnoised me as being Borderline Personality Disorder and honestly I can really see that in myself but now that I’ve studied it and see what I really am it brings me down even more. And I’ve hid all these deep feelings even the thought of being suicidal for over 15 yrs but […]
So i faced my worse fear.. But the so called “vacation” i suppose to have fun on didn’t go as i planned… When i got to Ontario the first 2 days was relaxing and sorta fun. I hadn’t relaxed in a long time it was nice but after that my depression took a spiraling turn for the worst… I got extremely depressed i couldn’t even find the strength to play with my 2 year old baby brother Jayson whom was plastered to my side the whole time i was there… When we got home a week later i started to loosen up and relax.. But […]
dear anyone who would like to read this
today i went to school, and as usual, was tired cause it was a monday and feel a bit timid towards others. though, as a part of the yearbook, i was required to talk to or introduce myself to 6 students whom i was going to take pictures of. today, one of those students, a girl, was one of them, came to school. almost everytime i tried to talk to her, just to see if she was doing okay in school, (is new) she wouldn’t notice me, or i was interrupt by people tht needed to talk to me.
when i […]
I feel empty. I thought I could be happy for a least a couple years before another tragedy came my way; but I
guess I was wrong. Five years ago on November of 2007 was the one month of my life where i was truely and completly happy.
I had my family, health, love, and my first love. Everything was great until December when my youngest sister passed away
caused of a drunk driver. From that day until today I wish it had been me instead of her. My family went through dark times. The day
of the accident, an hour before the events I […]
Okay I said I wasn’t going to come back to this site but here I am. You ppl seem to be the only ones to understand. I’m in my early 30s and very alone. It sucks so bad but at the same time I push people away. I have these anxiety attacks and deal with depression so it embarresses me to be around anyone but at the same time I can’t handle being alone. I kno makes no sence at all. Its just like now… I lost 3 people just yesterday. Crazy weekend… had the police tracing my fone b.c. I was open to a […]
somebody please talk me out of killing myself tonight. im sitting in front of my pills ready to o.d for the second time, only this time i know exactly how much i need to take to die. please nobody say “oh the world needs you, youre beautiful and unique and special”. because no im not. not at all. im caucassian. there are billions. i can sing. so can thousands. i have nothing to offer the world. everyone who knows me knows that. so without the cliches, PLEASE somebody talk me out of this…..
Have a good one,
Danny
every day i wake up and wonder why cant i just sleep forever?. I am 25 years old have been depressed for the last five years. Over that time i have started cutting and have on 2 Â occasions i have tried to end my life. the first time i tried to hang myself but the rope broke. The second time I took a full bottle of Vicodin then then tried to shot myself but i just was not able to pull the trigger, my mind told its ok the pain pills will kill you. I woke up 2 days later. I can see no end […]
I can’t. this isn’t living. This is barely fucking surviving. And I can’t take this anymore. I should’ve done it right the first time or hell even the second time…who knows maybe the third time’s the charm. Fuck! Fuck it all to hell. I can’t even think straight anymore. I just want this to end. it’s time for my pathetic/miserable existence to end
It’s been 37 years next week. Â 37 years old, and never had anyone say they loved me. Â My wife was the only relationship I had, and I got into it because I was fedup of not being in a relationship and she seemed to like somethings about me.
14 years later, I realise what I have is not love. Â I want a separation and I have told her, yet my friends who I have always been there for are telling me I should “stick it out”, or that I am being obstinate. Â Today I wanted to talk to someone, anyone, tell them how I feel, […]
Hi, my name’s Mady. I’m 14, and I’ve tried
killing myself 4 times. I wouldn’t say I have the
roughest life, but I do go through a lot of stuff.
And, like everyone I have bumpy roads. Many of
them in facr. The first time I tried suicide was a
couple years after I started cutting. First time
I cut myself, I was around 10? And, first suicide
attempt I was maybe 11. The first time I tried
cutting myself ’til I died. I was sorta hoping I
would bleed to death. I don’t know what I was
thinking. Second time I  was maybe 13, and
tried drowning myself, in  my bathtub. It didn’t
work out bedcause my little sister walked in.
I […]
If you don’t know, The Sunset Limited is a movie, about a suicidal man with two very famous actors in it. Its defiantly worth a watch.
Anyways, I feel like Tommy Lee Jones in that movie. Nobody gets me, except for the people on this site! I’m living in a constant state of agony as I have never felt in my life. As some of you know I tried to hang myself yesterday. I landed on with my feet on the floor the first time I tried due to not calculating the rope position properly after the noose was tightened it left too much space. So […]
im just writing down my lifestory shortly and i wont go into details.
i grew up on a farm. well i lived on a farm for 14 years. my dad used to force me to watch him kill sheep’s for dinner. he wanted me to learn how to shoot them in a painless way. the first time i watched wasn’t that bad. it went quick. it died in a split second. the second time. a year or a half later my dad got drunk. really drunk and dragged me into the barn and shot a sheep and yelled that i had to learn this by now. […]
Hi Guys
I am back. It has been an odd couple of weeks since I was last here and posted. I want to share the story though, maybe it helps others who are feeling similar and wondering what it all means. I have definitely not got the answer though.
My last post was about how weak I was, how I thought I was strong but I couldn’t stay anymore. I cleared out my office at work that weekend. I spent a lot of time getting rid of EVERYTHING and also making sure that there was nothing of ME left anymore. I wanted to make it all as […]
I need help.
But you need to know my story first. My mom got married for the second time in 2007. Everything was fine he was really nice and he had his own daughter who was younger than me and my sister. After 2 years everything started getting worst I’m going to 9th grade and he starts acting werid he tryed to beat my sister and she went off on him and told my real dad and he had a gone crazy too. But after a couple months he started to coming inti my room at night and well, doing stuff to me. This happened […]
People tell me that with time, i’ll start to feel happy again. I guess its sort of right. I always have my happy moments, but somehow it has to stop. Something always wrecks it.
Today my mom broke up with her boyfriend, he was such a good guy to her.. She really deserves a person like him, i just think shes afraid to get attatched again since my parents divorce. Anyway, she got rid of her bed because it was his, and she is sleeping on the floor for a while. I wanted to give her my bed for the time being, but she would […]
I have tried 3 times to use the helium exit bag. The first time I started to hyperventilate and chickened out. Second time I had a leak and had air in the bag. Third time I hyperventilated yet again. So what am I doing wrong? All the instructions say that the body is tricked by using the helium and yet I am hyperventilating like crazy. The other thing is that the instructions say that unconsciousness is found to happen in a mere 5 seconds or so and just a few gulps of helium will do it – that’s simply not the case. So what is […]
im having a hard time keeping together one part of me wants to jump off a bridge another part of me wants to slit my wrist or starve and dehydrate myself. To bad you cant do all three. Im in a lot of pain and i dont know why just know something inside of me hurts real bad. My life is good but this feeling is not good. I just got out of the er i actually went twice one the first day then the next. They threatened to kick me out of the er the second time if i kept acting up so i […]
I wish I could smack all the people who lied to me and told me my life would get better just so that I would not kill myself. Since then my life has gotten progressively worse. I lost everything. My apt, my money, my personal possessions, went into premature labor at 6 months then lost a pregnancy for the second time in less than a year. In order to get through the day I would have to take 4 pills daily that have side effects like hair loss. weight gain (yippee) and the tendency to make me feel like a fucking zombie….I’ll pass. Death is […]