we all have our story, time to share them.
Tag:
Self Harm
Things were starting to look up, but it’s all coming crashing down. I was getting stronger, not having the violent and/or scary thoughts anymore, my grades were getting better, and I was just starting to go back to my old self. Today I realized that I’m apparently not ok. A girl working in my group on a project we presented today shoved my copy in my face snobbily sarcastically thanking me for my help. I tried to help write it in class, but she took it home and never contacted the rest of us like she was supposed to, so she ended up doing it […]
Not acting on suicide plans – looking for help (SIAD/Butterfly Project)
by LilBear
written by LilBear
I posted on here last month saying I was going to kill myself whenever I felt ready. I’d been planning to do it yesterday after my last scheduled meeting with someone had gone past, only I’ve managed to arrange to meet someone next Thursday. But for once, I’m actually not annoyed. I feel incredibly motivated to keep pushing on, and I’ve found a way to help me along.
So SIAD is tomorrow, and being a cutter, this is the day I’m more motivated to draw butterflies on my arms. I decided to try and raise some awareness for both SIAD and butterfly project in school, so […]
Those of you that are atheist, or some other religion, please take no offense if this goes against your beliefs, just know that this DID happen.
The other night I wanted to grab that knife so bad and I was shaking so uncontrollably, gasping and blacking out. As these thoughts of self harm and death came into my head, God stopped me from acting on them. I felt so compelled to try and calm myself, and I felt some force driving me away from the knife and those awful, awful thoughts. Then again just two nights ago, I wanted to cut so badly, and I walked […]
I’ve been struggling for so long.
I’ve battled self harm for almost a year now. I can’t stop.
My parents found out, but they don’t know the truth and don’t know how bad it is.
I feel so alone.
I’ve attempted suicide three times. Three fucking times.
None of my friends ask me how I’m doing. Not even my boyfriend asks me anymore.
I’m so alone here. I’m so scared for what I can do to myself.
If I pick up that razor again, I’m afraid I’ll go too deep, cutting something important.
But the sick thing is, I want to.
I do badly want […]
I just moved in to a place where I can’t cut or physically harm myself in anyway. As dysfunctional as it seems, I moved in with my ex gf, her boyfriend, and their 4 kids. So on the plus side while i will still think about it, at least now I am in a place where I can’t talk about it, injure myself, or attempt suicide for now at least. Guess there is a silver lining in every cloud.
It’s he evening, and the day has finally started to catch up to me. A number of chance events have lead me to this.. Now I guess I finally have to suck it up.
Today, after being out of school since the holidays, and after a previous attempt at a meeting (which ended horribly with me ‘moving’ my principal out of my way), I was brought to another shitty, high school meeting. Yes, the police were invited this time.
So apparently a “warning sign” is writing “black poetry”. Their words. Not mine. There goes my expression..
They also mentioned about how I’ve added posts to here from school.. […]
Before I was addicted. I mean, I couldn’t bare the thought of a day without it. I was so locked onto it.
Now.. It’s strange. I hate myself when I don’t do it – I hate myself when I do.
Maybe I’m just expecting for something more to happen.
I’v become numb to the pain of blood pouring from my arms and legs.
I need something new. Something different.
Something to make me feel. Anything.
Hi this is my first time posting here so I guess I’ll just tell you why I’m here. I’m depressed, I self harm, and I’m suicidal, but I can’t go through with it since I’m scared that I might go to Hell. So now I’m just living here… ugh
I don’t know does it even count I mean well I guess I’ll ask you guys.ok so the past few days I’ve been poring alcohol over any cuts or scraps on my body just to feel the pain and I just wanna know is that self harm to? Whatever well I think the actual cutting is gonna start up again I don’t know :/ but yea I porpusly let any scraps/cuts get infected and in the end of the day I just poor rubbing alcohol or poroxide on them. I wanna know does it count as self harm to?
I thought i was doing so great. Love is my poison. Confusion is like a knife. The fact i only have guy friends and every girl i know hates me when i’ve done nothing to them.. it hurts. you feel alone. my first love has become a monster. I just recovered from self harm and suicide a month ago and now im falling again. i want to be strong but i feel like i want to take something burning hot to my arm. possibly attempt to bleed again. i feel like everyone just thinks im completely annoying. i let the simplest things get to me […]
I have kind of an odd question.
First, let me preface that question with a little information. I have smoked on and off for the last three years. For the last year or so, it’s mostly been on. The reason I started was because I figured that it could replace some of my less-than-desirable hobbies (ie, cutting and burning myself). And surprisingly, it worked. That’s not to say I don’t still harm myself, but it’s definitely less often then before. I think it may be the combination of the calming effects of smoking and the fact that it is just a different (albiet long-term) means of […]
i’m staring at this blank page waiting to type something but ii have no idea what but i have so much to tell about..so i guess i’ll just start telling.
I’m a girl 15 and last year i tried to commit suicide by cutting my wrists,I survived . I have scars on my wrists and thigh,i used to had more but they fade away, I did a lot of self-harm cuz that was the only way i could feel some relief.My mother heard me cry almost every night,she saw my scratches  on my arm but didn’t do anything about it.I’ve tried many times to tell them […]
So who all on here self-harms? I’m just curious because I do and have been for about 6 years now. I’ve been trying to stop but I’ve been having a hard time with it. My progress has been great though. I just keep having little slip ups and do it about once every month now. Has anyone ever completely stopped self-harming? And how did you do it? Was it difficult to stop? I just want to hear from somebody who has gone or is going through the same thing I’m going through. None of my friends had a hard time quitting and I’m the only […]
In July 2009, my mum heard the words no mother ever wants to hear “Your daughter is in ICU. She’s not expected to live.” Almost 2 years later, I am still alive, but my mum is not. Talk about irony. I had landed in ICU (for the second time in 18 months) after taking an overdose of my anti-psychotic medication, Seroquel. I remained in ICU on life support for 48 hours, and then spent a further 2 days in hospital under close observation and on IV anti-biotics after contracting pneumonia from the breathing tube.
I had my reasons for wanting to end my life, but […]
never have. but. I’ve cut 12 times in the past two days…before now I’ve only self harmed 5 times before in the past year.
this isn’t good. the amount of marks on my shoulder…no-one would believe they were ‘from my cat’.
Also. I’ve been paranoid about my wrists my entire life, I hate people touching them, or people drawing on them, or anything; but how come I just etched two red lines into my flesh?
I’ve never admitted it before, Ive always said to myself ‘yes you have agoraphobia, yes you have panic disorder, yes you’re probably bipolar, yes you’ve been sexually assaulted. but you’re NOT depressed’.
But I […]
Everyone has a bad habit or two…
Something they’d never tell.
I’ve got a bad habit of my own
That might just land me in Hell.
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Safety pins in the box near my bed
Help me deal with the things I feel.
Watching with fascination through tears
I forget that the scars don’t heal.
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At some point I realized I have to stop
Before somebody finds out.
So last week I gathered up the pins,
Hoping that I could do without.
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I’ve gone a lot longer without it,
But this time I feel a small shift.
Despite the constant obsessive thoughts,
I feel like this chance is a gift.
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I can get through this, if I try…
But is this change only […]
Okay so everyone always wants to know what my problem is, why I feel this way or why I seem totally unable to make things better. But for fucks sake they don’t know me, or my history, so they’re in no position to judge! The fact is if they did, they’d probably understand why I want to die as badly as I do. And trust me it’s such a long, sordid and sad story that half the time I wouldn’t even know where to start or how to explain. Sometimes I look at the way my life has turned out and it makes me fume with […]
I’m a 17 (almost 18) year old girl and this is my brain’s rant session.
I’m extremely distant from reality pretty much all day, my life seems so pointless and corrupted that I create these fantasies about people, usually guys, I wish I could affect, but actually am just obsolete to.
After seeing the film Girl, Interrupted, I had a kind of wake up call that I was almost identical to Susana Kaysen who had Boderline Personality Disorder, it made me feel like I could define myself finally instead of being this pathetic outcast. I took a test for this on the internet and it confirmed that […]
I have been struggling with my inner demons and haunted by the ghosts of my past for most of my life, and I simply don’t know how much more I can possibly take. I’m just not strong enough to keep fighting off the darkness within that much longer, sometime sooner or later it’s going to engulf me… and I won’t survive. I have always had a certain proneness to being emotionally unstable but several years ago I had a severe psychological breakdown triggered in part, by my mum’s death. Before she passed away she repeatedly asked for me and I desperately wanted to be there for her, […]
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