I’m 14.. I really feel like I need to be taking weight loss pills. But everyone else Is against it. Oh they say just diet and exercise. You really want me to go outside and run looking like the fat lard I am? People will laugh at me! And its not that easy to diet! You have to have self control for that. And that’s something I don’t have and never will have. I just want to be fit and in shape! That’s all I ask for.
Tag:
Shape
ive gotten fat… im getting better at putting on a smile. ive been dressing nicer and more preppy. ive been laughing more. ive been crying less. ive been arguing more. ive been thinking ab0ut him more. ive been treated worse. ive been told everything will be ok but ive been told that before. ive been keeping everything inside like i used to. im reverting back to the old me. perfect pretty girl. loud and outgoing sarcastic with everything put together. hah what a fucking joke. but i am so good at keeping everything in. ive only been cutting on my wrists so i can hide […]
I can’t remember when I haven’t felt like I am  just waking up because I have to. If it was physically possible just to continue to sleep – I would. I hate facing the day. I drive home hurt and scared and angry every day. I fail as a wife, I fail at being what I feel I should at my job…I am a burden of misery to my best friend whom I ***** to every day. She moves to Germany soon and I know our friendship will fade away. Every day is the same. Most nights during the week I just cry myself to sleep.
People keep […]
Dad constantly hugs me, kisses me, messes my hair *affectionately*, rubs my face with his hands, the same hands he used to hurt my mum. Makes me feel SICK.
He constantly calls me, last thing at night, first thing in the morning.
Whenever my fon beeps “is it mom?” no dad its my friends lauren. Whenever im texting somone “are you texting mum” any word from mum? G’on text mum for me. Makes me text stuff to her I don’t want to say
My position is that I am lying. Constantly lying through my teeth. I don’t love him, don’t want him back, I HATE HIM DISPISE HIM, […]
Stop the world, please
I want to get off
It keeps going and going
And I’ve had enough
I’m sorry for the inconvenience
Of my emancipation
Though, you have to admit
I’ve been so damn patient
But I’ve realized a circle
Is the shape of this track
I assumed there’d be progress
Yet, only find lack
If my only purpose,
Is to live as long as you see fit
Then don’t bother firing me
I’m done. I quit.
I didn’t ask for this job
And I don’t intend to see it through
You’re disappointed by that
But the fault lies in you
Some things are made broken
Impossible to mend
 Not all problems can be solved
And I’m one of them
But you knew that, right?
You’re called my creator
Made […]
If people knew the story of their lives how many would then elect to live them? People speak about what is in store. But there is nothing in store. The day is made of what has come before. The world itself must be surprised at the shape it’s in.
I came from a unforunate upbringing. Suffice to say, there was lots of weird stuff that is crimminal and will follow me until the day that I die. I put up a shell that protected me. When I moved out of the house at 18 I lived alone. I worked alone. At this time I was morbidly obese. I overcame that addition. Got in shape. Enlisted in the reserves. Finished my B.Sc. and now find my self in Law School. It took me 12 years of my life to get to be a freshman law school student. 4 years ago I met a girl. Despite […]
Sigh. I get better then when I fall it’s worse than the previous worse of before if that makes any sense at all. My life is declining at a rapid rate, and I’m losing grip on myself, I know I’m going to slip very soon. My whole life, I’ve been helping other people, basically living for other people and that’s basically made me crack until now where I’ve crumbled. People expect me to be a certain way, shape me a way I can’t be shaped, and make me something I don’t want to be. I’m suppose to be perfection in an imperfect world and boy […]
I don’t know why I let myself fail to the point that I do. I know I can put more effort into bettering my life but every time I try putting forth any effort I am only met by failure and worthlessness. I am unable to even comply with basic day to day situations sometimes and I need to trudge through it knowing that it is only me myself who is keeping me back. I’m being pushed through a hole of the wrong shape to fit in with everything so extremely fake around me, yet had this been a different world my inferiority would have […]
Riley,
Our journey continues in my mind. We converse, we laugh, we dance, we engage in battle with zombies, we awaken the Harbinger in the ones who are lost and suffering. I know you’re suffering right now and it’s torture for me. If there’s anything I can do, let me know. I begin school in the spring (I hope) to obtain an associate’s degree in Physical Education. The Vampire Order grows and it seems as if my friends with Anonymous have the same intentions. I have discussed joining Anonymous with the Order. We feel at this time, we will remain separate, as we draw inspiration through […]
Do you know what its like to look in the mirror and hate what you see? Do you know what its like to live your whole life the laughing stock of society? Do you know what its like to go through life hating yourself, but knowing that you can’t do anything to change yourself? Have you ever been about to take your own life, all because of the way you look? Do you have that red scar on your left arm because you know that you’ll end up cold and alone? Do you know what its like to plan your own death, just because you’re […]
It’s around 4:30am, I have work in a few hours, I wanted to make a post about how I’ve been thinking and thinking of people who came and went in and out of my life. Why have I always been overly attached to those people?
In middle school I dated a family friend’s son. I was with him for about 1 and a half year? I never  grew attached to him like I was gonna do with the next 3 upcoming men in my life. I did happen to love this kid, but it never actually cried and ache for him. After that was over, I […]
people tell me im ugly that i will never find someone to love because of who i am, for what i am… im actually sarting to beleive them… who would love someone like me? suicidal, always depressed, monster? in this world i am at the bottom i am ugly im a monster. i try working out i tried diets and other stuff that will help me get into shape but no matter what i do im un loved… im already struggling as an artist and trying to get my art work out there but no one seems to actually care for it my friends just […]
i follow every single rule in place for me, why can i get out of the fucking system? then you get these lucky bitches who get off and they are in no shape or place to be and they go and do drugs or illigal shit,while im working my ass off, i want to run far away,but the only people that would even look for me is the cops,im 21 years old,i feel like a slave, slaves had to fight for there freedom to and thats exactly what im doing,i want so much in life that the average person that walksd past me gets, that […]
i am 16 yrs old. my mom is 32 and my dad i dont know becaus e he walked out n my mom when she was pregnant. i live with my mom and step dad who are married and have been for 12 yrs. they have 5 kids together. my step dad raised me but i was never close to him. my father figure past away 2 yrs ago. i didnt know how to handle his death so i started cutting again. i started cutting when i was 8 and stopped when i was 14. my mom doesnt know that i cut and no one in my […]
I made a fool of myself again. I belived someone who said they cared. That I understood him and was so nice. Then I was told that a relationship would nevet be in the cards. I’ve heard the same crap so many times, it’s sad. I must be an awesome friend because everyone of my ex’s wants to stay my friend. I’m hurting so bad. Each time this happens, I feel as if a little piece of me is torn away. I have chronic depression which means even at the best of times, I’m not in the greatest shape. I want to give in and […]
Here I find myself again, with tears streaming and a heart that aches. I have no idea what to do. I feel lost in a world that is passing me by, crippled by the fears of the unknown that consume me. So many paths lay before me and I can’t even take the first step, the pain inside crippling. Betrayal, anger, hurt, hate, love, loss; all consuming thoughts.   I don’t want to be here.  I feel tired and broken and the task of putting the pieces back together is impossible; even if I could, I would never be the same. My life can be seen […]
Don’t you hate it when you take a dump and ur dick falls asleep along with ur leg? Happenes to me all the time, probably poor blood circulation for a 17 year old…
I wrote this 3 days ago and since wordpress doesn’t let me write on my iphone without lag, I just copy and paste it which is easier.
My dad pissed me off a bit. Between the facts I know and the facts he knows, we are both ignorant of each other. I tell him what I heard and he tells me that he’s older and therefore he has all the brains and […]
Something stands behind you
Blood comes dripping down
Blessings of the hatred
Falling to the ground
Looking for the demon
Chasing you it lurks
Bathing in the nonsenseÂ
It says it doesn’t hurt
Paths that lead to nowhere
Leave no tracks behind
Darkness folds beyond you
you struggle to survive
In the darkness binds you
A great and savage fear
No one else shall find you
As long as it is here
You grasp for you’re own sanity
In which you only see behind
A shadow of you’re enemy
A shape in which you recognize
It follows tracks endlessly
never tired from the chase
No matter what it keeps it’s […]
Death is a blessing.
Death is like the night. We hide from it, postpone it as long as possible, shun the darkness, but in the end it is inevitable.
We fear it, but it will forever stalk our waking hours, haunt out most sinister nightmares.
Grief, perhaps, is worse.
Grief is what is left behind for the living to deal with.
It is what will make two enemies allies, what can make love turn to hate.
Grief is the most astonishing of pain, and we see it everyday, in some shape or form.
Maybe you just broke up with your beloved. Maybe you just lost […]
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