To let go of all the bad shit in my life, or anything for that matter? Because I can never seem to let go of anything in life and I have no clue why. I had crappy friends that I stopped being friends with and yet they are still in my life I still give them opportunities, like wtf? But last night I realized this isn’t the life I want for myself. I want to be happy have good friends I want to be in love and be with someone who loves me. But I ruin that for myself I met this cool guy and […]
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single
Hey everyone, I don’t know if anyone here knows who Frank Iero is but I absolutly adore him. Last year he made a demo of a song called ‘joyriding’. The song, and the lyrics, is so breathtaking beautiful, relateble and feels so true. Let’s just say I cried and listen to it on repeat when It came out. And now, he has released it as a real single for his upcoming album! Thought Id share it.
Lyrics:
i’m not sure what they said, but if it’s true i’ll bet it’s just one more thing i’ll regret. i hate my weaknesses, they made me who i am. “yea, […]
This is what I imagine in my head. Every single day. This is why I can’t smile. Is it wrong that sometimes this is the only thing that makes me happy? That one day humanity will cease. What is wrong with me?
It’s funny I’m sharing my story here, cause just a couple of hours earlier I registered on here and actually posted a topic to clear my doubts regarding the suicide method I was opting for, at which I was politely told by a member here that this site is not appropriate for it. I’ve read multiple stories here, and I understand their pain, and I see they feel better having shared their stuff so I’m just trying my luck out as well, hoping I can resist the urge to die.
This basically refers to my two friends (C and M, I’m not gonna reveal the names […]
Everyday i contemplate why i dont just get the hell outta here. yes i’d be happy off dead. but i wanna see the look on every single one of these people who claim that they “love” me or that they “care” about me. I wanna see the pain that comes over them knowing that every single thing they ever did to me is why i killed myself. I wanna leave so that you can feel the pain you bring to me every second of everyday in this god forsaken world.
“Amnesia”
( by 5 Seconds of Summer )
I drove by all the places we used to hang out getting wasted
I thought about our last kiss, how it felt the way you tasted
And even though your friends tell me you’re doing fineAre you somewhere feeling lonely even though he’s right beside you?
When he says those words that hurt you, do you read the ones I wrote you?
Sometimes I start to wonder, was it just a lie?
If what we had was real, how could you be fine?
‘Cause I’m not fine at all
I remember the day you told me you […]
I honestly wish I could be one of those pretty girls who everyone adores and compliments all the time.
I wish I didn’t get criticised by my own family every single day to the point where I wish I didn’t exist.
I wish I was the perfect person you’d see on the street who loved her life
I just wish I didn’t have to do so many things to get people in my own family to smile or laugh or even try to make them like me.
I wish people liked me for me.
I met her on this thursday … My best friend and my friends given me suprise by taking her at my home … when i seen her , i get shocked. I was too happy and excited when i seen her , it was just like i get my breath, i get my life… i cant tell how much i was happy…. And then she ran to me and hugged me tightly.. i just get another big shocked… it was like i get my life ,i get my everything…. and then i hugged her tightly…. and holded her hands …. we were walking together by […]
I’m not sure why. I just feel so surrounded by death. why are people in my family dying but not me? I know I’m fucked when I die, God will be so disappointed.. but why am I still alive? I have a good family, a few good friends. I’m not ill. I’m just so worn out and depressed I don’t see the point in life. it’s all so temporary.
used to ask God every single day for 38 months straight in jail to just kill me. lost who I thought was the love of my life. but I got past it and felt better. now I […]
every single time someone looked me in the eyes and asked me why I couldn’t do it, I would tell them it was because of you. I couldn’t imagine putting you through that. I never wanted you to have to worry about me. I was suppose to take care of you, I was suppose to be the one burying you, in many, many years. but here I am, the rope already tied. I’m going to use the chair I’m sitting on, it’s from the kitchen table I hope you don’t mind.
don’t blame yourself because you did everything you could. and please don’t mourn because we […]
I can only tell you what is working for me at this moment in time. I am taking a multitude of meds at the max doses and my mind is clear. I still have suicidal ideations and nightmares but I’m a single mom and have chosen for today at least to write this post and give another option. I believe in mood stabilizers and other meds when combined with counseling. You have to put in the effort and tell your drs what is and isn’t working. I know my meds and have tried every combination and strength. Some didn’t work at all. Some made me […]
It’s been almost 7 years dealing with the same routine. Dealing with these thoughts, emotions, and temptations. I’m just so tired.
And the thing that brought be to the edge, once again, is completely ridiculous!
My father and sister think I’m gay. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to bash on those who are homosexual or bisexual, but I know that I’m heterosexual.
It’s just that recently I’ve been staring at girls for a while. Not with romantic purpose, but instead I’ve been constantly comparing myself to every single girl I see. I see all of them and they are all much prettier than I am, […]
Certainly not the spiritual kind, just an emotionally and physically abusive, narcissistic and controlling human woman.
It feels like only one of us will make it out of this war alive. On nights like tonight I often think about taking the situation into my own hands and exiting this war on my own terms. I’m tired and I’m dreary.
Then I’m reminded that I fight back harder every single time. Tonight, when physical abuse came at me, I did not allow it. I fought back, I defended myself physically. That was my first time.
There must be something in that, I wouldn’t be fighting so hard if I […]
There is three types of idiots in this world: Idiots who do evil because they like seeing you suffer or because they want to show off in front of their “friends”. Then there is those who don’t care about the consequences of their actions; they don’t intentionally hurt you but if through any of their actions you take damage they don’t give a single fuck – aka “Don’t get in my way.” The last type are the ones who don’t understand or know about the consequences of their actions, either because they are too dumb to figure it out or because they just haven’t realized […]
She never loved me. But God, I loved her more than anything. I loved her more than life. She was the only thing in this stagnant world that gave me a single shred of real happiness. But she’s gone. And she’s been gone for quite a while.
Suicide has always been a friend of me. It’s always been next to me, sometimes out of sight but never out of mind..
I don’t think I want to live anymore.
Since many years,the world had been control by a group of elite families,their objective?complete control of the world,introduce a fascism way more worse than the past one.thousands of cameras in the cities,,new 2014 chips inserted in kids to ensure their security,television and football to take away the atention from the real problems..The most powerfull families cleaning the path for the arrival of the antichrist,he will come in form of hero,intelectual and you know God.The majority of the people would believe in him,if you dont you would be persecuted and isolated ,they will call you insane.When every single one is […]
Sorry this is somewhat long-ish, but I really need help with this?
So, I was going to make an appointment with my doctor sometime this month because I actually want to find out what exactly is wrong with me. Whether I need to been diagnosed with anything else. If I actually have something serious with me. The whole shebang. Because my mood is up and down constantly throughout the day, and no it’s not “just being a teenager”.
I mean, today in my Geography I was in tears walking to the room, and refused to speak to anyone for fifteen minutes. (I’d already had a breakdown in the […]
I’ve always felt there’s something seriously wrong with me and the gap between me and others has increased and become more obvious over the years. I can’t communicate and I end up being hated by every single person who ever gets to know me, and then they label my insecurity and fear as ‘social anxiety disorder’ as if it’s an unnatural response. When I appear online on facebook people go offline and someone’s just said “god I give up” just because I, liked her post. How can I not commit suicide when I am so brain damaged that I can’t even communicate to kids or […]
I am 44, single mum . . . With a darling vivacious 11 year old son . . . And we have lived with my mother since he was born. The idea was . . . .i had a great career ( did not really view my treatment resistant depression any more than someone managing diabetes) . . . And grew to know over the past 25 years that thoughts of suicide were not “me” … But just symptoms that I needed to go back tomy doc, get meds tweaked, “work my program”.
But but things have changed . . . I have been in an […]
I was once a nice sweet guy, great sense of humor, a tad weird, and a self proclaimed romantic, I am 45 now, never had a true relationship, only had one woman in my life I ever truly loved.
I lived in Massachusetts all my life. And over the years in my search for the love of my life, I have found that from the time of birth women have been told that men are pigs, scum, and jerks, etc. On the other hand women are supposed to be the sweetest things, sensitive and caring, affectionate creatures.
I tried many tactics to entice a woman’s attention, from […]