My friend was found incoherent – little response, I don’t know anything further yet. I have been having these really dark premonitions about her killing herself. I hope she doesn’t die. I can’t do anything, I am powerless. I just texted her silly pictures and thoughts of her as often as I thought she could tolerate over the past several months. I was so afraid that she was mad at me because I used to be the one so depressed and cutting and so ill. I haven’t felt so depressed and cutting for several months. I don’t know how to treat her… I want to […]
Tag:
sister
My best friend, my ONLY friend, is dead. Gone. She left me. And I sat there and watched her die. I can’t unsee it . WHY DID YOU TAKE HER FROM ME? WHY HAVE I NOW GOT NO ONE? Stupid car crash. Why did I have to live? I SHOULD BE THE ONE THATS DEAD, NOT HER!!!!
Sara, I will forever love you and I need you. I really need you. I can’t forget you. You are my sister and I don’t understand why you had to go and I get to live.
She is gone. She is not coming back. I’m alone. Not a soul. I […]
I know in the back of my mind it won’t help but it’ll at least help me forget.
or give me the confidence to finally kill myself. I need to feel less guilty. Then I’ll finally do it.
Still alive. I was planning on doing it almost a month ago. But then there was my sister’s wedding, and once that passed, I realized the holidays were fast approaching. Then there are my students, too. I teach at a local community college, and I rather like my students. And whether they like me or not, losing a teacher mid-semester is bound to be traumatic.
As much as I want to kill myself, I feel the need to wait for a better time for the people I’m leaving behind. Everytime I walk across the bridge near my apartment, I fantasize about jumping off. I don’t know […]
My step dad is a drug addict, and yesterday he said he was quiting and then today he has the nerve to come to me and ask for my pills, it’s like if i dont give them to him hes gonna hate me but if i do then i hate me i just want him to get better or get out it’s not fair that i have to live with him let alone my 2 year old sister i mean just fix yourself or leave my house.
People always say ‘ there are reasons for being alive, stay here, we need you’ yeah, you need me do you? Well tell that to me the next time you ditch me for someone better. Everyone is better than me. I don’t see the point of being here; I don’t think there is one. I self harm. People tell me to stop but others tell me to keep going. But I have made up my mind. I’m leaving, no one needs me nor do they want me . My own mother has disowned me. She says it’s my falut my sister is dead. She says […]
I’ve wanted to kill myself since I was very young. I was raised knowing that I wasn’t very much liked in my family and knowing I’ve caused so much pain over the years just existing is killing me inside. Nobody deserves the things I’ve done and I just can’t be this person anymore. When my mom got pregnant for me she was cheating on my younger sister’s father with my father, who was dying. When I was born my mother want allowed to tell many people about my real father because her boyfriend didn’t want people to know. My father died the day I turned […]
Hi
This is my first time writing on here and I am kind of scared to talk. I’m quite shy.
But hey, I might aswell tell you what I am hoing through.
People hate me. Short and sweet I know but it is true. People just hate who I am.
I cut. Just like everyone expects me to do. I mean, people expect me to want to end my life, and I do, but the point is I can leave wheni I want to leave. Its not like anyone would care anyway.
My story? Well it all started when my sister died. I was only […]
I can’t do this much longer. I’m a guy, in high school, failing all my classes, and failing last years classes too. I’m too far behind. I’ll never graduate. I have no friends at all. No one cares about me. No one ever did. I hate it when people say no one cares about them when obviously people do. The only one that actually cares about me is my sister, she’s my only friend too. I have thoughts of suicide constantly, idk what to do. I want to get on a right track.. but life really sucks right now too. I mean, school isn’t my […]
I guess I’ve been depressed for years now.. And it’s rough. The worst of it is that most others don’t understand. “What’s wrong with you?” “You just have to be positive..” “I can’t handle you being sad all the time.” Lately the suicidal thoughts are occurring more often and seem to be sounding like very viable options, and I hate that. I woke up this morning and just cried. Mainly because I hate my job, my living arrangements, and my current economic standing. I hate that I am so ridiculously lonely all the time, yet consciously choose to be alone. I hate that I know […]
I was laid off of a job four months ago. Since then, I’ve been very sick, I’ve failed several interviews, and have started to take full time accounting classes. I have a fiance of seven years who says what I believe are the worst things you can say to a human. He has told me to kill myself, he has called me worthless so many times, as well as anything else you can think to call someone. He tells me things like, “you’re so worthless to me”, “Oh great, I’m turning into you. I’m just going to be a miserable, worthless manic depressant”, “I used […]
When I was 16 years old, I was at the peak of a very dark place.
Everything really started when I was twelve. I hated myself, and everybody else hated me, whether it was too my face or behind my back. I allowed people to walk all over me because I wanted to have friends, no matter how little they were actually friendly. Just people I could sit with at lunch, or talk to during class. I hated being alone. I still do. I started cutting a few months after I turned twelve, when I overheard one of my “friends” talking about it with someone else.
I […]
Darn, lost a full poem, battery-outty
In a cold shell, touching the light
I hide, abyss, holy golden knight
Where is to the temple, who is the link
To the fountain, how do we go
Or I do keep falling, falling
Only me that’s drowning, to the death
I am, an undead, the Morlocks, Leech
Pirate, iron-mask, le celibatar
Brother, and sister, enfant de la mort
Back story: Me and my family have never gotten on. Now…
When I was in Year 4 my mother’s constant manipulation and verbal abuse over me was enough to drive me suicidal. That may sound petty, but nothing was ever good enough for her. Whenever I went out with my dad she would say “If anyone asks, don’t tell them she’s my daughter” if I had greasy hair or something. Anyway, she honestly did not care about my emotional state. I would always be walked in on when I was on the verge of killing myself.
Anyway, later on in the year I made a promise to […]
I cut again today. It was the first time I had in a while, for at least a month or two. I came home from a birthday dinner in a normal mood. I had somewhat attempted to make plans after the dinner but then decided it was too much effort to try and figure out what people were doing and I was kind of tired. I felt like people didn’t want me to hangout with them after, but I’m almost certain it was all in my head considering I didn’t put out very much effort and I’m also somewhat known as wanting to stay home […]
I was the most happy child, I grew up in a little village with my mum, dad and big sister. Perfect.
My dad used to get so angry, he was violent with me and my sister. My mum was scared of him, but she’d always try and stop him. My mum was depressed, living in isolation with 2 small children and a husband always down the pub. My sister has autisum, but back then my mum was told she was just being ‘difficult’. Sometimes mum would get angry, her eyes would go red and pop out her head, her face would change, she’d look so […]
Well last night was defiantly an interesting one. But now I’m left with a difficult task. I could tell something was up with my boyfriend with the way he would hardly talk . I knew something was bugging him but what he told me I was not expecting to hear at all. for about the past two years me and my bf have been together everyone was really happy about it except for one person. My little sister she pretty much hates him and it hurts me cause most of the time I have to play referee when they are near each other. Hes been […]
I’ve been coming to this site for over 3 years now. I haven’t posted anything in over a year because I thought that I could fight this feeling of desperation, anxiety, loss and depression on my own. To be honest all I did was block everything out and I have become numb to the core. My world spun out of control last year with my mothers attempted suicide and her failed efforts to take my sister and I on the same journey to death (in simple terms: she tried killing as well by poisoning our dinner). This was the cherry on the cake that […]
My original intention was to comment on someones post – suicide is not selfish. It is only viewed as selfish by those who are angry because you are nolonger there to be used & abused. That is how it will be for me.
In 1 week I will be homeless. I really feel like I should give up right now. Everything has fallen apart, but replacements are falling into place. My ‘best friend’ whom I live with has replaced me with one of her friends & her 2 little kids. I have lost my sister to the clutches of my mother, so I am no longer […]
Lately I’ve been trusting no one. My “best friend” said she didn’t want to be my friend anymore when she found out I was emo.I’ve known her since I was 6 and now I’m 12 almost 13. Also one of my guy friends from school turned his back on me and started calling my names. Past friends have left me also,my dad and step mom found out that I’ve cut myself, my sister was being nosy and heard what we were saying and went and told all her friends. Some of my friends know about it too from my sister. I just hope that my […]