So every single morning, I wake up. Obviously, either wise i wouldnt be here right now and you wouldn’t be reading this crappy entry. but oh well. anyways, i do my normal routine, get ready for school, stare at myself in the mirror, criticize myself, decide whether or not i should skip breakfast, blahblahblah. sounding familiar? .. then i get to school, dont know who to be around with in the morning, should i hang out with my backstabbing friends , or be a loner and get looks and shit? i choose the latter most times. school goes pretty fine, heart hurts everytime i see […]
Sleep
*** ** MAJOR amendment to this thread!!! VERY IMPORTANT! Scroll down to my last post. It will save you A LOT of trouble! Seriously!!!! *******
I’ve figured it out! I feel like celebrating! I’m so happy and relieved!
In my heart of hearts, I believe people should be allowed the dignity and respect of deciding how long they live. To me, what drives a person to end their life is the devestating part; that profound suffering and internal unending pain. But not the actual suicide; that’s freedom.
For example, I recently had to have […]
My dad committed suicide. He hung himself. These are awful words to say and I can never, ever get the image out of my head, my dad had cancer, awful cancer, he had a reason. There is no other reason to do this to your family or yourself. I miss him with every second that passes. Damn it, I want my dad back…now, I want to call him. No matter what you are or what you are going through, someone wants to talk to you. Don’t do this to someone. I loved my dad, I still do. No moment passes that I don’t love him. […]
On 09-22-10 my girlfriend off and on for 3  years had passed away  now I fequently cry my self  to sleep wondering why her. Why not me but everyone tels me god ha a different plan for her. I guess I can’t change how much I miss her and love her
.does anyone know how to get rid of some of these fellings so maybe I’ll stop blaming myself  and find some closure
I’m so sick of people acting like they know me…. They don’t. They think they do but they don’t. And I really just need someone to know my story. Sometimes it’s comferting knowing someone has your story.
It started when I was 4…. my parents got divorced. When I was 5 my dog died… no big deal right? Wrong. I was 5, my dog was my best friend. When I was in 2nd grade me and my mom moved to Tennessee over the summer. I thought we were just staying for the summer. No. We were moving… To get away from my dad. Since […]
i read everyone’s posts and i know you think you are in pain or have it bad, but you don’t know what that is compared to me.
i am suffering from a strange kind of insomnia where i never feel tired. i can go days on end without sleep and this has been going on for three months. somehow i don’t have the ability to feel tiredness, so i have no desire to sleep. my brain however has been losing its ability to think or remember anything new. the old stuff is still there, and i look normal, but i can’t think when i need to. […]
I’ve felt like this for many years. Right now I’m on the precipice of a major change in my life, one that will basically cast me out into the world. Unlike some of the others here, I have people who profess to being in ‘my corner’. But I realise that ultimately that’s all a sham. They can’t really do much for me because this thing stems from inside. It’s been described as screaming into the void or staring at the abyss. I choose neither. All I feel is empty, empty all the time. When I’m around people I feel empty. When I’m alone I feel […]
Don’t want to get better. Don’t want to find some wonderful thing to make all the suffering of the past worth it. Don’t want anything. Just want to stop existing. To go to sleep and never wake up. Simple as that.
It’s always the same, every day is the same struggle, same shit, I don’t want to do this any more. I don’t want to be this person any more, sitting in this shit room in a house that isn’t mine with strangers, and nobody to talk to. I’m oh so tired, no exhausted, of trying to find happiness. It just continually eludes me. I want to go. I want to give up. Then I think about how devastated I’d be If I lost any of my family, and I can’t do it, I can’t do that to them, so I’m stuck, this shell of a […]
Please read my entire post before commenting…
My whole life has been me slipping in and out of depression, so I know what it’s like finally feel renewed and pull out of depression. That said, I’ve never felt this bad before about myself… it’s unprecedented for me to feel THIS bad. You know how people say they’ve hit rock bottom? Well, to give you perspective, I feel like rock bottom was the thing that hit me on the head, that’s how low I am.
So what happened to get me this low? It’s a list of things that have piled on me. 1) I only have $30 […]
I woke up today already feeling depressed.
I didn’t want to do anything at all today, so I decided to take some sleeping pills to make me sleep all day, hoping I’ll feel better. I slept for 7 hours and I feel terrible and my emotions are all over the place.
The suicidal thoughts are back.
-A.C
i dont wanna sleep……soooooo who wants to talk?
I have been feeling really low for years I am a 5’11 African american 22 year old fat girl I intimidate people so I can understand why some people turn their faces up when I enter the room or when I do something embarrassing why they judge me with their eyes sometimes I want to  take myself out of this world so as to not burden my family. My shameful trying face is my problem its fake to me That face of  mine that tries at life the me that is happy feel like all an act to work for an empty place that never exists and I’m starting to feel like even strangers can […]
When I look in the mirror, all that I can see is emptiness inside of me and I ask myself…
Who am I?
On the outside it seems to clear.. I am a daughter, a sister, a friend…but who am I?
Every morning when I awake, I tell myself it is time to put on a show..don’t want no one to know, what I feel when I am alone. I can’t let them see the tears I cry.. As keep all my fears hidden deep inside..
I tell myself; I do not know how much more I can take before this life I choose to forsake..
It seems to easy […]
the crisp smell of Autumn,
the soft crunch of snow
the pattern of pebbles,
a star’s milky glow.
the whistle of wind,
the dampness of dew
the rustle of leaves,
a deep sunset hue.
the curl of a cloud,
the pale of the sky
the stripes of an oak,
a dove’s peaceful cry.
the fragrance of flowers,
the sweet smell of pine
the aroma of rain,
a moon’s lovely shine.
the rumble of thunder,
the hum of close cars
the sigh of a drizzle,
and the silence of stars.
the tranquil of twilight,
the ebony of night
the soothing of sleep,
… For now all is right.
Is there a difference between wanting to commit suicide and wishing you were dead? Â I wish I could close my eyes to sleep at night and never wake up.
My life is actually pretty good and pretty normal, and that just all the more lets me know that I really, really just want to die, if even my relatively normal life can’t make me feel any better. Â I’m a college student with good grades, 26 years old, extremely good looking, extremely smart, extremely nice, with a loving and supportive family and only one friend but she is a great friend. Â There’s really nothing wrong with my […]
hello my name is stan,im a 18 yearold highschool student, the thing that ment the most to me in my life was taken away monday , my gf or i guess you could say ex gf (whos name will not be said) she was killed in a car accident by a drunk driver in the rain at around 10 pm we were dateing since 5th grade we were both seniors. she was the love of my life we were engaged i was gonna marry this amazing beautiful women she helped me with everything she made me who i am today when ever i was doing […]
I found this via the links SuicideProject has on the right… And I beLIEve it is worthy of consideration, since our suicidal minds are already preoccupied with real world experience/ multimedia amusement/ wtf worry/ lack of sleep/ cognitive issues/ etcetera… Though, really, who else gets us besides maybe two people irl if we’re lucky? Read if you dare.
http://psychcentral.com/news/2012/10/10/social-anxiety-can-fuel-compulsive-internet-use/45844.html
Today I felt so alone
No one around to call my own
I weep I plead I cry I bleed
All I want is someone to love
Someone to hold me
Someone to trust
But it’s okay I’m used to the feeling
The life I hold I can feel it ending
I cut all night and just can’t sleep
That last cut comes down way to deep
The scarlet blood trickles down and hits the floor
It keeps coming more and more
This time I failed once again
I lost my hope I lost my plan
My plan to leave this hatred place
This dream of mine […]
I dont know how to start this. I feel head sick, my brain just never stops. everything is just going and going.it feels like its been years since i slept, like really slept, or woke up and felt like”todays he day”. my entire life i have always felt behind, like everyone in the world attended the”how to” of life, and i was late and missed it. sometimes i have dark thoughts, dark enough i wont put on here but they are terrifying. the thing that i dont get is i come from a good home. both my parents love me and my mom has done […]