Everyone is connected in two ways. In life, and in death. I know what you’re thinking, I’m just a loner on the other side of this screen, no one to leave behind when I die, a not-so-happy soul, when in fact, I’m the person everyone turns to when they have problems. I’m always cheery and happy and I honestly don’t think anyone can help that..My Mum says I’m the nicest person on earth. She said yesterday that she’s glad I don’t cut or have suicidal thoughts, and when I looked at the Television, which was what she was watching, I almost gasped and fell to […]
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someone
i’ve always been alone. for as long as remember, i’ve been alone. After what seemed to be a lifetime, I had found someone who knew me as i wanted to be known. I found someone who…loved me as I wanted and needed to be loved. but now, she’s gone. I wake up in the middle of the night crying bitter tears. I cry till my heart gives out and I pass out. I’ve lost the only thing I’ve ever cared about. and it hurts in the deepest broken pieces of my heart.
Sometimes I forget the password and I am unable to log onto the Suicide Project Website. My struggle feels like a sign and I find it as ironic as a fortune cookie. “You will be the light in someone’s life.”
I sit here,
staring at this screen,
while another version of me
bleeds out in the tub down the hall.
I envy her.
She is the one who is free.
She is happier than me.
I am a girl in high school. I don’t have a lot of friends and recently I quarreled with my so-called best friend. I used to have lunch and go back home with her every day. Now that we have had a fight, we no longer talk. I need to ask someone else to go back home and have lunch with me every single day. I feel like I am bringing troubles to people. I feel like they are just too nice so they wouldn’t refuse me even though they really think that I am annoying. I don’t dare talking to my so-called friends about […]
The one thing that has kept me going for the longest time has been schoolwork. I am a senior in college, graduating in May and wondering what will help me survive after that. I’m good at schoolwork. I’m smart. Not to sound arrogant, but I know what to do to get good grades, and I love to learn. When everything else is fucked up, as it often is, knowing that I can get something right is what keeps me alive. Now, it’s nearly over, and in all that handwork and all that knowledge gathering, I have no career prospects. Nothing that I’m particularly good at. […]
Day 2 no meds. I’m starting to feel again and I feel a sense of rage. It’s like my body is starting to shake inside from my suppressed anger. Anger because I am one of those dickheads who always puts people first. I am always trying to figure out how to please people.
You know what!? You can’t please anyone and no one can please you. Being content and happy comes from inside. I know this, I fucking KNOW IT deep in my core. But for some reason I am constantly looking for someone, someone who will take my love, someone who will give me love.
Well […]
Alice loved this so much Alice wanted to make it it’s own post, Alice feels like it needs to receive the attention it deserves Alice marvelous at how simple yet touching these words can be. So true Alice agrees it is so true
Save me? No.
But when I had someone who loved me, I was stronger and could take the unending waves that threaten to pull me under.
When I had someone who loved me, I had more confidence […]
I feel I just can’t go on anymore. The pain controls everything. I have no friends no family nobody to talk to nobody to open up to. I hoping maybe someone can talk me out of this I don’t want to do it but I see no other option I plan out everyday how I going to do it and where but I don’t want nobody to see it or find me it always ends up with someone finding me I just want to disappear. I’ve already tryed pills but that only landed me in the hospital looking like an idiot not a single person […]
Alice says hey girl hey, Alice has a cliche question but Alice wonders what your thoughts are on this, Alice is curious to know if you people think that love can save someone from suicide Alice thinks so if it’s the right love in the right situation let Alice know what you people think
Im 21 years old yet i still feel like such a useless child, that same little girl whose father wanted her aborted, whose mother sdespite this got back together with said father and stood by while he both physically and emotionally abused me. He eventually kicked me out after finding out i had been raped saying that i deserved it and was better of dead. I struggeled to find a new place to stay the night most nights, if i couldnt find a place id sleep in a stall at hyvee or a walmart. While homeless i became addicted to meth. Id spend everyday high […]
I am 26 years old, and I’m married to the woman of my dreams, my high school sweetheart.
We’ve been married almost 3 years now, we have two kids ages one, and seven.. I have had a series of experiences in my life that I suppose have slowly eaten away at my innocence and I’ve managed to lose grasp on the good within me.
I use to be a very happy individual.. I was rarely ever in a bad mood or sad, and of those rare times my negative mood was usually influenced by an external source, someone unhappy with my choices or actions, or […]
When I first started writing on this website, which is February 2012, I was going through little things. I was a senior in high school worried about the way I look. Like crying everyday because I thought I was ugly, or crying because my peers would make fun of me and somebody told me to kill myself. And as I look back at those moments, I wish I didn’t let that little stuff bother me. Because It was nothing. It was little. Let’s fast forward to my third year of college. I am at the point in my life where death and the afterlife does […]
I want to die but…
SENDING YOU LOVE AND WISHING YOU A HAPPY EASTER FROM WONDERLAND ~ Alice
I hope this miserable crowd at least gets to spend Easter with someone they care about, i know this is a bullshit holiday but its the thought that counts.
Finally done with a horrible relationship and most of the pain that came with it. There are days when I still can’t believe that it has happened and that I am where I am. I am jealous that he has good things and I don’t I constantly compare my life to his. He was a horrible person and yet he has managed to move on find someone who accepts him and cares about him, has good friends, everything I want. I am a better person than him I feel like I deserve those small things more than he does and it is unfair. Someone told […]
I feel like I’m slowing down. Everything sounds distant or submerged in water. My vision blurs in and out of focus. I have no energy to do anything, not that I want to anyway.
Is this what dying feels like?
I have yet to find someone who tolerates me talking in metaphors, or even enjoys me doing it.
Regardless of all this, I’m still here, so maybe that counts for something.
I spent a large portion of this afternoon running my fingers over the scar on my throat, or staring at it in the mirror. A wound that by every right should have killed me. No one can live […]
Life is boring , boring life. why movies, games, anime/manga, & fantasy/imagination is better than life / real life / real world / reality ?
by niki
written by niki
life is boring , boring life. why movies , games , anime / manga, & fantasy / imagination is better than life / real life / real world / reality ?
everyday life is the same : wake up, eat, go to school/work, boring, then go back home, eat, then sleep, then repeat again.
but movie / game / anime / manga / comics / books are much more exciting & interesting than this boring life !
for example: like in the world / universe of Harry Potter, Avatar, Lord of the Rings, Narnia, Marvel / Marvels, Avengers, X-Men, Divergent / Insurgent , Star Wars, The […]
It’s funny.
I claim to have no friends, no one that i trust, yet i am constantly on this search to find someone i can trust thoroughly, someone i can share every stupid idea or deepest secret with.
Yet i know that such a thing is unlikely. Why, you may ask (or probably not since pretty much no one is going to read this)? Because though I’m the type of person that likes to be left alone, i also desire to be seen as special, unique, etc. I want to revel in others’ awe of me (does that make sense?).
I want to fall in […]
What’s the difference with someone saying and being suicidal to someone who just says what the fuck I want to not endure no more pain and just does it. Like thank fuck I can vent because I’m soo suicidal. I’m in the not care stage can’t see any way out and time will just make me worse and worse and worse until I can’t cry become emotionless and not feel or care for anything. Fuck society just fuck society. When I had a psychotic break I swore at a police officer well actually i called him a pedofile but i was mentally deranged out of […]
A comment exchange led to a sudden consideration of what would happen if you ended up meeting someone from on SP in person and becoming friends/partners/whatever. (That’s happened, I believe?) I mean, what would you say if someone asked where you met each other? “I. Uh. Online. We’ll go with online.”
And, yeah, there will be the wise-asses among you who will happily tell people where you met. I’m well aware. 😛