I haven’t been here in a while, since I have had a period of happiness. Or at least I thought I had it.
I recently got into highschool. I decided to change schools, since everyone in my past school were either complete idiots or were indifferent with my existence (my so called friends). I always felt alone and depressed. And it was worse when someone was with me, saying things like “I’m there for you”. It hurt the most because those were fake words, and people just could say them like if it was nothing, and then they could just walk away, making me feel […]
My dog was misbehaving a bit today, not the first time and I thought I’d just talk to her so she knows she can’t do what she did. Instead I slapped her in the head so hard that even I could not believe it. Instantly I knew I should not have done that and I regret it very much, but it was as if I was not there, it was someone else hitting her. I feel that dog would be happier some place else, so I will try looking for new home for her and after that I can die. I hope I will, because […]
I need help understanding what is wrong with me because I only recently have been feeling more an more worse each day. If someone is out there to just hear me out and help me solve the issue, I would be so grateful. I can’t really afford therapy let alone tell my parents. Also I’m 18 if you were wondering.
im extremely depressed and idk why. I cant get these bad thoughts out of my head and I feel like a failure. ive had similar episodes of depression in the past and have attempted suicide before using pills and I don’t want to get back to that. I attend a liberal arts school and was on the wrestling team with a scholarship but I gave that up today due to this depression. Im planning on dropping out, I don’t want my parents to waste 18,000 dollars on this school where I walk around wanting to die and failing classes. I just want help from someone that’s not getting paid to […]
I don’t care anymore , all I do is cry I can’t go through with a shit life anymore feel like I have got no one anymore, need quick way to end it have no one to talk to who can understand how I feel for no reason people will think I’m crazy
So yeah I’m here cause I wanna die but I guess I wanna write my story? Leave one final mark on this world or something I don’t really know…
I’ve been pretty much bullied my whole life. I’m 19 years of age and in college with a part time job. I don’t really remember what life is like without the depression. I’ve pretty much been depressed for since I was about 12..when I was old enough to really understand the bullying. It wasn’t the typical type of bullying so many people didn’t really know it was happening to me or if I told them just thought […]
I hate counselling, I hate friendships, and people suck. I just want one person to know how it feels to not want to get out if bed in the morning, to wake up hating yourself and go to bed thinking about how shitty you are and how ugly you look. I am sick of my face and the people I’m surrounded by, I want someone to know what it’s like to feel completely lost and not know what’s wrong and to feel shitty and sad even when everything is going good in your life, I want someone to understand what it’s like to feel like […]
Let’s see where to start when everything is wrong
My life is a mess and it seems to just get worse
I try to work it out I try to fake a smile
Every time I see the shimmer of light
I get dragged back down into this darkness
Inside my chest is this hole that never seems to heal
Despite my efforts and my attempts it’s the same
Gashed open arms stapled shut
Medication overdose, drowning
Always being found before it’s to late
Dragged to the hospital yet another week
In solitary alone under suicide watch
Every attempt always the same
What’s the point of saving someone
Who doesn’t even want to be here in the first place
Why […]
I’m beginning to think that sleep doesn’t exist… I don’t even know what it is anymore :\ someone…anyone…? Please just turn my mind off for me…..sighhhhh
My mom has always hated me i have no dad.no one will miss me for sure.I thino about suicide everyday I think of new ways to do it.please help me. Someone love me
So I’ve watched the movie 7 Pounds a few times. If you haven’t seen it, you should. If you like Will Smith that is. I’ve always wanted to make an impact on humanity. Or at least leave something of a mark, even if it’s not something people will remember a 100 years from now. If I could simply give someone else life through my death, I could end on that note. So I’ve researched the Box Jellyfish. It’s the deadliest Jellyfish, if not the deadliest creature in the sea. It’s venom is considered among the most deadly. So as the movie goes, Will Smith commits […]
One of my biggest problems is I believe what people tell me. I want to believe them because they tell me what I want to hear. I hate being suspicious of someone’s intentions. I hate having faith that the next time will be different only to find out it’s not. I loathe myself. I often wonder if I would be better off if I re-discovered my inner “*****”. After I watched both my parents die of cancer (in the same year) I got soft. Too soft, I have too much compassion and tolerance because I know everyone is fighting their own battle. Even if they […]
Hello, I goggled I want to cut myself tonight to try and stop myself from slicing up my thigh. My boyfriends laying in the bed next to me while I’m crying my eyes out asking “what can I do”, nothing and then I tried to talk to him an he said you always get like this last night I cried after I had sex with him but I say this with all my heart someone that has never known depression will never know, he doesn’t know. My mother died of cancer when I was nine my father remarried a women a year later with 3 […]
I’m broken, I have been for so long… but I really feel it more than ever. Which is strange because I should feel happy, our family dog was missing for weeks and was found safe and returned last week, I finally got a job after so long of searching that i started today, my college graduation is this week, and yet… it all feels pointless.
I feel worse than ever and I’ve felt so bad before, I’ve come so close to just trying (and succeeding) in ending […]
I’m never good enough, I never make the right decisions, according to everyone else. I managed to pull A’s and B’s out of my ass when my mother passed away. I went back to classes two weeks after my entire life was destroyed before my eyes and yet I passed a university semester with flying colors. So, I tell my parents, being my step mother and father that I want to take an aerial silks class to, you know..do something for myself for once. I am a straight A student, I personal train three days a week and I hold a really good job, and […]
Why do I feel so cold yet I don’t have a cold heart?! Why is it that I allow people to shove their happiness down my throat and don’t have the guts to just ignore them or say fuck off?!?! This sounds bad. It’s not that I don’t like when people are happy I’m happy for them but it’s one thing to talk about it and it’s another to know you’re actually shoving it in someone’s face to make them feel like complete shit!!! I get it already! I don’t need a daily reminder 42 times in a day everyday!!!!!!
AHHHHH!!! RAGE!!
Done… Sorry..
Yep. Maybe it’s because I have so many things wrong with me. I’m not hiding behind them, I like to think not, anyway. I’m true to my feelings, and am kind of brutal sometimes. Usually, I say what’s on other people’s minds. I feel bad. I can’t figure myself out. I’m mean to those who intimidate me, and sometimes, I’m just mean for no reason – usually when I’m manic – which is no excuse. I don’t forgive those who have hurt because I’m afraid they’ll only do it again. I’m afraid. I’m afraid of everything. I wish I was pre-rape me. I was super […]
Trust.
That word alone makes me confused. It’s something you give to someone and expect them to respect it. I gave that to a couple people and a couple people abused that. Someone close to me, he abused it. What he did changed my view on him forever. He didn’t do much but it was enough to cause my body to tense up and I was paralyzed with confusion and fear.
Why did he touch me that way? Did he think I was my mother? Being intoxicated changes what you see. I don’t know really, I was practically a hold still. It scares me thinking that he […]
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